Thursday, 10 March 2016

A Whale Of A Time

Something very strange happened in our home a few days ago which I am sure you will not believe; no matter how much I tell you it is true. Anyway, I'll tell you the story and you make up your minds.

I got out a few days ago and found a whale in our back garden. Yes, a whale. There it was swimming amongst the goldfish in the pond at the back of the garden.

I don't know how it got there but there it was. I could not believe my eyes. Let me explain that it was the size of a very large dog, so it was not a fully grown up blue whale as you may have thought. But all the same, a whale the size of two Alsatian sheep dogs suddenly appearing in one's pond is quite something; I tell you. Maybe it had been dropped by a passing sea gull which picked it up from the sea. Although, judging from its size it must have been a very strong sea gull; unless it was a whole flock of them.

Anyway, there it was in my garden and I had to get rid of it. I did not have enough plankton in the fridge with which to feed it. And I was afraid that if it died of hunger I would not be able to flush it down the toilet because of its size.

So I called the authorities to come and help. The Pest Control Department would not believe that I had a whale in my garden. They told me a whale is not a pest so they could not come out to help. I asked them if they could bring someone with a net to take the fish back to see. They transfered my phone call to Annette in the Wales Department.

Annette was very kind and explained that she was from the Wales Department, the country; not Whales the fish department. She said there was not fish department at our Local Authority.

Eventually, I got someone from the Local Authority to come out and investigate. He confirmed it was a whale and suggested we entice it out by playing whale songs. He brought a CD player from his van and played a whales' songs CD.

"Oooohh Ooooohh" went the CD. You know how whale songs sound, dont you? "Oooooh Ooooooh". Long and soft sounds like someone exhaling with laryngitis.

And the whale in our pond responded "Oooooh Oooooh" back but did not budge from the pond.

For at least an hour we had this duet playing "Ooooh Ooooh" to each other.

All the neighbours came round to look at what was going on.

The guy from the Local Authority called in a helicopter with a view to lifting the whale up in a net and then taking it out to sea. That's a net made of ropes tied together and not Annette from the Wales Department - Wales the country not whales the fish.

The noise of the helicopter stopped the whale singing and it tried to hide behind the pond flowers and plants.

The man from the Local Authority then changed the CD and played "Nessun Dorma" very loud.

And that's when I woke up with a start because the radio/clock alarm had gone off.

11 comments:

  1. Ah, Victor ... no one spins a tale quite like you do!

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    Replies
    1. It's all about having cheese before going to bed, Linda. Vivid dreams.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. Hi Victor! Now there's a fish tale for you!
    I wonder if you were singing in your sleep?
    Blessings,
    Ceil

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    Replies
    1. I was singing that old Vera Lynn song: "Whale meat again. Don't know where don't know when. But I know whale meat again some sunny day !!!"

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. OH, VICTOR! I am quite good at interrupting dreams---this dream clearly tells me you lack confidence in the government officials---especially after eating a whale of a dinner!

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  4. interpreting ---LAUGHING---I will NO interrupt your dreams--I PROMISE!

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    1. I know exactly what you mean, Lulu. You should see how much taxes our Government officials charge us each year. For years I dreamt of taking a holiday swimming with dolphins, but could not afford it because of the taxes. So I took a holiday swimming with sardines instead.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. Now that's a whale of a tale! What kind of cheese were you eating before bed? Oh Bleu cheese - that'll draw the whales in every time...

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    Replies
    1. Yes, it was Danish Blue. Although I also like Stilton, Gorgonzola and Roquefort.

      Do you like blue cheese, Mary?

      God bless.

      Delete
  6. Was it a white whale? Are you sure one of your neighbors is not Captain Ahab? Perhaps the whale was son of Moby Dick. Anyway, this all sound pretty fishy to me.

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    1. It was pretty fishy Manny, I tell you. A large dark coloured whale in my dreams mixing my brains with Wales the country, and Annette from the Wales Department who did not have a net, left me quite confused.

      But I do like a bit of blue cheese with biscuits; or oat cakes. Do you like oat cakes?

      God bless.

      Delete

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