Sunday, 20 March 2016

CATHOLIC HEAVEN



A man dies and goes to Heaven where he is face to face with St Peter.

The keeper of the Pearly Gates taps his computer keyboard a few times and asks: “What’s your religion?”

The man eagerly replies “Catholic”; knowing full well that this is the one and only true Church which Jesus founded all those years ago. Jesus was after all Catholic Himself.

St Peter looks up and says “Catholic hein? Not another one!”

“Is that bad?” asks the man worryingly.

“It’s that we have quite a few Catholics in here,” continues the Saint, “and we get more trouble from them than any other religion.”

“How so?” gulps the man in a panic.

“Well … they think they know it all for a start. They’re so judgmental too. And they argue so much … There’s a chap we’ve put in a room by himself and he still argues when he looks at a mirror. Something about Latin being the only true Catholic language …

“Do you know … some of them believe they’re the only ones here! We’ve put all the Catholics in one corner of Heaven and told everyone else to keep very quiet when they walk by there so as not to confound their belief.”

“Is that where I’ll go … if I’m accepted in Heaven?” asks the man with some hope in his voice.

“Well …” replies the Saint, “your credentials are in order. We can let you have access to the whole of Heaven where you can meet everyone else; as long as you don’t go around saying that Catholic is best!”

“Agreed … I promise!” says the man with a smile.

“Oh … and one more thing,” continues St Peter, “always carry a tin of sardines in your pocket. In case you come across another Catholic who insists on eating fish on Fridays!!!”

And the moral of this story is: Do we as Catholics set a good example for others to emulate?

SIMILAR STORIES TO THE ONE ABOVE HERE
 

 

10 comments:

  1. Replies
    1. Thank you Cathy. Hope you have a splendid day.

      God bless.

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  2. HUM---I have a joke on the very edge of my memory bank--something about different rooms in Heaven. FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE---I can't remember ANYTHING anymore!!

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    Replies
    1. I know the feeling, Lulu. It is difficult when I can't remember things. Like going upstairs to the bathroom only to discover that I live in a single-story bungalow. Most disturbing.

      The other day I took the cat for a walk instead of the dog - and I fell off the roof.

      For ages we've had an old lady living with us. I thought she was my wife's elderly aunt. She thought it was my own old aunt. Neither of us ever remembered to ask the other who she was.

      To remember things, Lulu, I always write them down in a note pad - can't remember where I left the notepad.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. Excellent (and funny) post, Victor! Yes, Catholics can be legalistic. I guess it's fear that drives legalism wouldn't you say? I'd like to hear your thoughts on the matter.

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    Replies
    1. You're probably right, Mary. I find many Catholic blogs obsessed about the minutiae of religion rather than focussing on the main picture. For example, many Catholics (and their Blogs) still talk about Vatican 2 and its significance, whether we should celebrate Mass in Latin, or in the language of the country we are in, and other similar matters.

      The reality, I believe, is that God loves all of us, regardless of denomination, religion, and whether we believe in Him or not. His invitation to love Him back is open to everyone, through Christ's sacrifice for us. God is not really interested whether we celebrate Mass in Latin, or whether we sing with guitars or old fashioned organ music and so on.

      As you say, Catholics can be legalistic and somewhat superior to everyone else. No wonder other denomination are confused about us and our beliefs. Someone recently suggested to me that Catholics are not Christians because of what they believe ???

      See how we are seen by others?

      Do we do enough to explain our beliefs to others? Does our Church, and our Pope do enough to explain our dogmas? e.g. Marriage/divorce/re-marriage/annulment, contraception, married priests (the subject of my book "To Love A Priest"), homosexuality and many other issues.

      Thank you for your comment, Mary.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. Thank you, Victor - this is a great response. I agree with you. I've seen the legalism and superiority too from those who correct others without love. I think it's the love that's key, even when we disagree with others. As long as we understand that we (Catholics, Protestants, people in general) are NOT superior to others offense is rarely taken but once that air of superiority kicks in of course people get offended. No, I don't think we do enough to explain our beliefs to others. Many people are very confused about Catholicism and we do little to help them understand its teachings and the WHY of those teachings.

    I will check out your book. Thank you for the thoughtful comment, both here and on my blog.

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    Replies
    1. Thanx Mary for checking out my book "To Love A Priest" - link on the right hand column. I'd love to know what you think of it.

      I have great difficulties at times about our Catholic dogmas. Not Catholic Faith - but dogmas. I was discussing confession with a priest lately and he called me ignorant. He said that Jesus said to His disciples "Whatever you loosen on earth is loosed in Heaven, and whatever you do not loosen on earth is therefore not loosed in Heaven". This means that priests can hear confessions and forgive sins.

      I explained that Christ's words were for His disciples, and not necessarily for him and all other priests. Other denominations do not have confessions to their priests. Does that mean all other people, except Catholics, are living in mortal sisns and will not go to Heaven?

      I didn't get a satisfactory answer.

      You see, Mary. On this and many other issues the Catholic Church does not explain itself to ots people, never mind other denominations. It's a question of: "Do as I say, or else!"

      God bless you and yours, Mary.

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  5. Victor, have you ever read any of Scott Hahn's books? They are great for helping people understand why the Church teaches the things they do. He has one on Confession: http://www.amazon.com/Lord-Have-Mercy-Healing-Confession-ebook/dp/B000FCKGL6/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458780476&sr=1-1&keywords=scott+hahn+lord+have+mercy

    All his books are good and many of them cover the issues you mention in your comment. He was a Protestant who converted to Catholicism after deeply studying the Bible and his books cover so much. I think you'd like them.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanx Mary. I'll check these books out.

      God bless you. Have a great Easter.

      Delete

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