Thursday, 8 September 2016

On Being Intimate

It is amazing the number of TV programs these days about meeting a partner and match-making. In all of them, it seems, the individuals featured are looking for a quick solution to an age old problem. They all want to find the perfect partner who will love them and cherish them and be by their side for ever more - and they all want to find him or her quickly. Instantly. No waiting.

In almost all cases the individuals searching for their knight in shining armour, or their beautiful princess, seem to focus their desires on physical features mostly. They all want their partners to be handsome or beautiful, smart, wonderful, kind, with a sense of humour, and all the other superlatives one can think of. And there's very little attention paid to shared values, education, aspirations or the like. All they seem to need is an instant physical attraction and hey presto we have romance, now let's jump into bed.

In their search for instancy they forget that romance, if such it is, wanes and often gets tired as time goes by. 

But what is romance exactly, or intimacy; which is a more delicate way of putting it.

Speaking purely from a male's perspective let me say this, on behalf of my other fellow males: "Please ladies, be gentle and understanding towards us."

You say you want romance; but let's be honest. How can you have "romance" when your wife puts all sorts of creams on her face and has her hair in curlers before going to bed? The sight of a creamed-up face with cucumber slices for eyes is enough to make any man's heart miss a beat - and for all the wrong reasons.

How can you have romance when your girl is lying on the bed and as you're about to kiss her, she looks up at you and says: "The ceiling needs painting again!"

Or when she flutters her eyes alluringly and wants to be friendly just as the football is starting on TV? Don't you ladies realise the importance of sports in a man's life?

How can you ask for romance instantly at any time and at any place because, (so it said on TV apparently), it is more exciting to be spontaneous and more in tune with one's desires. Being spontaneous has got me thrown out of yet another supermarket !!!

Or worse still ... when you suddenly appear in the bedroom all alluring in a new sexy negligent without giving us men enough time to focus our imagination as to whom we're romancing with. Just give us time to get our brains in gear, at least.

We men, on the other hand, are more understanding and more sensitive when it comes to matters of romance. We know full well that you ladies want flowers or chocolates as prize tokens of our esteem every now and then. Fortunately these days, many a gas filling station has these items available at the check-out as you pay for your petrol. Do you know that a gas station near where I live gives a free box of chocolates for every 100 points coupons we collect? Hopefully the idea will catch on in other places too. Sometimes, when I'm in  a hurry, and feel like being friendly with my wife, I just pick up a few flowers from the neighbour's garden next door. He won't miss them ... his wife is allergic to flowers ...

But let's be honest here, ladies. We men just cannot understand why you need all this constant re-assurance and repetition of our affection for you? Isn't it obvious that we love you? After all, why else would we put up with a dragon for a mother-in-law? Is that not a sign of affection?

I remember years ago I said to my future father-in-law that I wanted to marry his daughter. He said: "Have you seen her mother?"

I replied: "Yes. But I still prefer to marry your daughter!"

I guess he knew what I was taking on for a lifetime.

We men don't go for this constant repetition and re-assurance of our affection. For us men, it goes without saying, or repeating, of a fact that is obvious to one and all. We said we loved you when we married you, and that should suffice.

After all, one would not thank a kettle, or a toaster, or a fridge every day for being there, does one? 

You appreciate their presence and their functionality as they are meant to be. It's the same with romance. We said we love you, we bring you flowers every now and then when we fill up the car with petrol, we take the trash out every week and paint the ceiling every now and then. What else do you want? 

Oh ... and one more point. If there's one thing we men dread to hear when we're being intimate is "More." 

"More ..." you say. "One more time ... Again ..." 

Let's face it, there are times when men just cannot give more; no matter how many blue pills are at hand. And that's when your jousting knight in shining armour drops his lance and falls to the ground in total exhaustion!

2 comments:

  1. Well, Victor, nothing like diving into the deep end! As for me---IF--another man was to act interested in me--unless God is first in His life--I am not interested! HOW I love to be romanced, but without my one condition-(they can look like a horse as long as they treat me with kindness)-I will stay single and be perfectly content with my Divine Romance.
    Blessings, Friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am sure you would make the perfect partner, Lulu. From what I have read in your Blog you really are a very kind and loving lady.

      God bless you always.

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