Thursday, 30 March 2017
BEWARE - Emergency Alert System Scandal
Down the road from us, say three or four houses away, (not to be precise), there is a man in his seventies living alone. His closest relatives live in the same town some five miles away. He is visited by a nurse every now and then to check he is OK. He also has an Emergency Alert System. You know the kind; he wears a panic button type gadget on a chain round his neck. Should there ever be an emergency he presses a button and we are warned in our house and we rush over to check on him. We have a key to his house. His relatives are happy that we call on him in an emergency because they live too far away to rush should there be any need; and anyway they also work and are not always at home.
This emergency gadget he wears is very clever. Should he ever fall and become unconscious and not press the button, the gadget recognises he is in a horizontal position and it warns us.
So far we have never been called out to his house on an emergency. Until a few days ago.
I was alone at home. The electronic contraption on the side board started flashing and bleeping.
I put on my shoes and coat and rushed outside. I then realised I was wearing no trousers. I got back home. Took off my shoes and coat and put on my trousers, and then I put on my shoes and coat again.
I rushed outside. Half way there I remembered I did not have the old man's house keys. I returned home. Got the keys and rushed back out.
I arrived at the man's house totally out of breath. My heart was beating 1000 beats a minute. I opened the door. I looked in the living room to see if he was lying on the floor there. He was not. I looked in the kitchen and the other room. He was not there either.
I rushed upstairs.
He was lying horizontal on his bed ... making love to the nurse.
He was wearing nothing but the collar round his neck. She was wearing nothing but a smile.
I froze. I slowly and quickly reversed and got down the stairs and out of the house.
I don't think either of them noticed me.
Now I don't know whether to tell his family or not. I am concerned that all this exertion might be bad for the heart. I mean ... rushing all the way there in a hurry is quite a task you know!
What do you think?