Friday, 12 October 2018

Accidental Consequences

Allo mes amis,

Someting veree strange as appened to me. A few days agoo, as I was in ze park, a football hit mee in ze ead. I lost conscience for a seconde or two. But zen, sudenlee, I started speeeking in a French accent. I could not stop eet. What ever I said came out in a French accent.

The docteur he said that eet iz "mental reversal syndrome"! He explain to me perhaps some time in ze past I ear someone iz speeeking in a French accent and zis is imprinted in my brain. With hit of football I revert to that mode of speeeking sub conscience lee. The docteur not sure ow long zis situation will last.

Problem iz ... I now also write in French accent. When I write ... I try write in proper Engleesh as I learnt from a book in schoool. But words come out on computer screen in French accent. As you can seee. Also appens when I write on paper wiz pen. I write proprement and words come out in French.

Docteur say may bee I read French book in past. Ziz iz true. I read at school plentee of French books like On ne badine pas avec l'amour by Alfred de Musset, Tartuffe by Molière, Le Curé de Tours by Honoré de Balzac, and La Peste by Albert Camus. But all zem books were wreeten in good French not in English. With propre French accent in the writing.

Docteur he explain to me that brain he mixes proper French books with proper English language and with football hit he makes me speeek and write English with French accent. He also said if I write in French, probablement eet will come out with English accent because of mix in my brain.

To prove eet, he the docteur he writes something in French and he ask me to copee eet. I could not do so bee cause I could not read hees hand writeeng. He said zees eez no problem bee cause all docteurs ave bad hand writeeng. Zees eez bee cause all docteurs hit on head at some time or other by stetoscope eet being tangled in something and pull head down and eet bang on desk or cup board.

So zere you ave eet. For time beeing I write to you ere with French accent. Pleeeze you write to me in French accent also so I eez able to under stand you. Merci.

10 comments:

  1. Not yet! I'm just beginning to perfect my Alabama accent, Victor! 'Just curious if you've begun to crave escargot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mais oui ... bien sur; Je love zee escargots. But zey run two faster for moi to catch zem.

      God bless you, Mevely. Y'all!!!

      Delete
  2. Zees eez grande probelem, mon ami! Maybee nouveaux bump a la tete can helps?
    A bientot and blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Surement, vous eez veree correctement, Madame Martha. Zee docteur, him he say, anozer hit on zee ed weel fix the probelem. My wifee eez readee with zee pin for zee rolling zee pizza dow.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. I'm sorry to say that I can't speak in a French accent but sure enjoyed yours!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Eet eez eezee to speakee zee Francais, Terri. All you do eez copee like Madame Martha did above.

      Try eet sometime. Ett eez veree chic and moderne. N'est ce pas?

      God bless you.

      Delete
  4. I studied French about 50 years ago but don't remember much. You are too funny, Victor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I had to study all those French books I mentioned above for my exams, Bill. Some were written in a non-modern French; a bit like reading Shakespeare or Chaucer. I'm so glad you enjoyed this post, Bill.

      God bless you.

      Delete

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