Tuesday, 28 May 2019

A Whale Of A Time


Something very strange happened in our home a few days ago which I am sure you will not believe; no matter how much I tell you it is true. Anyway, I'll tell you the story and you make up your minds.

I got out a few days ago and found a whale in our back garden. Yes, a whale. There it was swimming amongst the goldfish in the pond at the back of the garden.

I don't know how it got there but there it was. I could not believe my eyes. Let me explain that it was the size of a very large dog, so it was not a fully grown up blue whale as you may have thought. But all the same, a whale the size of two Alsatian sheep dogs suddenly appearing in one's pond is quite something; I tell you. Maybe it had been dropped by a passing sea gull which picked it up from the sea. Although, judging from its size it must have been a very strong sea gull; unless it was a whole flock of them.

Anyway, there it was in my garden and I had to get rid of it. I did not have enough plankton in the fridge with which to feed it. And I was afraid that if it died of hunger I would not be able to flush it down the toilet because of its size.

So I called the authorities to come and help. The Pest Control Department would not believe that I had a whale in my garden. They told me a whale is not a pest so they could not come out to help. I asked them if they could bring someone with a net to take it back to sea. They transferred my phone call to Annette in the Wales Department.

Annette was very kind and explained that she was from the Wales Department. Wales, the country; not Whales the fish department. She said there was no such thing as a fish department at our Local Authority. Whether it is whales or any other fish. She did not believe my story and said it was all a red herring to confuse the Local Authority. Which is a different kettle of fish altogether.

Eventually, I got someone from the Local Authority to come out and investigate. He confirmed it was a whale and suggested we entice it out by playing whale songs. He brought a CD player from his van and played a whales' songs CD. You know the kind; relaxing whales singing songs with sounds of waves and all that.

"Oooohh Ooooohh" went the CD. You know how whale songs sound, don't you? "Oooooh Ooooooh". Long and soft sounds like someone exhaling with laryngitis.

And the whale in our pond responded "Oooooh Oooooh" back but did not budge from the pond.

For at least an hour we had this duet playing "Ooooh Ooooh" to each other.

All the neighbours came round to look at what was going on.

The guy from the Local Authority called in a helicopter with a view to lifting the whale up in a net and then taking it out to sea. That's a net made of ropes tied together and not Annette from the Wales Department - Wales the country not whales the fish. Are you paying attention?

The noise of the helicopter stopped the whale singing and it tried to hide behind the pond flowers and plants.

The man from the Local Authority then changed the CD and played "Nessun Dorma" very loud sung by an overfed tenor.

And that's when I woke up with a start because the radio/clock alarm had gone off.

16 comments:

  1. There should be a study done of your brain, Victor. It is a wonder how it works!
    Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why? What is wrong with me? Is it because I tried to flush a whale down the toilet?

      God bless you, Lulu.

      Delete
  2. "… like someone exhaling with laryngitis." THAT's a panic!
    I once tried riding a whale while in a friend's pool … stupid thing threw me and ruined my newly coifed hairdo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Whales are generally stupid, Mevely. Look how big they are and all they eat is plankton. Which are very very tiny. It is like us eating nothing but sesame seeds.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. That was quite a detailed dream, Victor. I was getting worried about the whale and the helicopter net, etc. Glad you woke up when you did!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My dreams are very detailed, Terri. Also in technicolour and surround sound. Not in 3D though because there is not enough room in my bed for a whale.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  4. That was quite an interesting dream. I wonder what it means. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree, Happyone. It was quite a fishy dream. I'm not sure about its meaning though.

      God bless you always.

      Delete
  5. It may have just been a dream, but it is also a wake up call to go and stock your freezer with plankton.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried every supermarket in town, JoeH. No plankton anywhere. Where do whales get it from, I wonder?

      God bless, my friend.

      Delete
  6. Well, I'm talking about the animals in my garden over at my place. But a whale is not one of them.

    You beat me, friend!

    ;-}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As well as a whale, I also have various birds, bees and butterflies in my garden. And cats.

      God bless, Linda.

      Delete
  7. Goodness me! That was some dream! Glad you woke up when you did …

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was a huge dream. A whale of a dream, you might say. A nightwhale!

      God bless you, Jan.

      Delete
  8. There's been quite a spate of fish-story telling at your blog recently!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No Kathy, that's a red herring.

      God bless you.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...