Wednesday, 17 June 2020

WAKE UP


How would you like to wake up in the morning and finding you're sitting there next to those men?

The photograph depicts 11 men eating lunch, seated on a girder with their feet dangling 840 feet (260 meters) above the New York City streets. The photograph was taken on September 20, 1932, on the 69th floor of the RCA Building during the last months of construction. (Wikipedia)

Can you imagine waking up one morning and finding yourself sitting on that girder 840 feet high, between two men holding you and saying, "don't make any sudden movements or we'll all fall off!"

Tell us honestly, how would you feel then?

Have you ever dreamt as if you are falling and you wake up suddenly with a start? What's all that about?

I have invented a remedy against falling out of bed in such circumstances. I have fitted seat belts from an old car to the bed. We just tie ourselves in and we're safe from falling. It's a problem though when having to go to the bathroom in a hurry. It's not easy to find the release mechanism of the belt that quickly. I once rushed to the bathroom carrying the whole mattress and my wife with me. She thinks I'm an idiot.

What do you think?

Sleeping and waking up are odd phenomenons - or phenomena if that is the plural of phenomenon. It only matters when you're awake anyway; who cares what the word is when asleep?

You go to bed, you lie on your back, you think of this and that, mostly that. Perhaps you count sheep to get to sleep; or perhaps you do risk assessments in your head regarding the health and safety of the sheep. Is the hedge too high for them to jump over? Do they have to jump anyway? Why not have a gap in the hedge for the sheep to go through?

And suddenly ... it's time to wake up again.

No one understands how it happens. One moment you're lying there thinking. The next you're asleep and you don't even know it. Because when you're asleep you do not know whether you're asleep or not, do you?

No one really knows the precise time they go to sleep. It just happens. And then they're up again.

Isn't that glorious? Just ask anyone what time they went to sleep. They won't know. They'll tell you what time they went to bed, and what they did in bed; but not when they went to sleep.

Sleeping is one thing. Waking up can be different for different people. Of course, it depends on the circumstances in which you wake up from your sleep.

Sometimes in the morning I wake up grumpy. At other times I leave her sleeping and get down and make breakfast.

I hate it when I wake up and discover I have missed my exit on the Highway and I have to drive miles further to the next exit. Don't you?

I once woke up and hit the car parked ahead of me. A short man came out of the car and came towards me and said, "I am not happy!"

"All right," I replied, "which one are you?"

On another occasion I woke up totally soaking wet. The man in the boat said, "if you punch the shark on the nose he'll go away!"

Another time, after going to the pub with my Keep-Fit Trainer, I woke up in the gorilla enclosure at the local zoo. The trainer was outside and he said, "I told you you're so fit you COULD fight a gorilla; not SHOULD fight a gorilla!"

The gorilla held me tight and would not let me go. I think she liked me and wanted to marry me. I was probably the best mate she'd ever seen. I tried to explain I was already married but she did not understand.

My trainer threw in some peanuts and she preferred them to me. Can you imagine that? The rejection still hurts to this day.

Some people sleep alone whilst others sleep with other people. Some people read before going to sleep; others sit there eating or reading. Some read books. Some read newspapers or magazines. Whilst others read a Kindle. I read a Kindle once. It seems such an expensive way to read a book, having to buy a new Kindle every time you want to read another book.

As I said, some people like to sleep with someone else. Some people even like to sleep with their pets in bed. I slept with my pet in bed once. When I woke up the bed was totally soaking wet; and my goldfish had died.

Some people like to sleep in their pajamas. Others in their night-dress whilst others sleep in the nude; which can be hilarious if you wake up and see yourself in the mirror.

In England some people sleep naked but with their hat on; You've got to keep proprieties after all! Just in case you meet someone in your dreams and you can take your hat off by way of salutation.

How about you? Do you sleep with your hat on?

One day some Angels were looking out of the window in Heaven and counting, "One ... two ... three, four ... five ... six ..."

Jesus came by and asked them, "What are you doing?"

They said, "We are counting how many people thank God as soon as they wake up for seeing them safely through the night!"

12 comments:

  1. I refuse to dream of high places! I have a real fear of heights!
    My hands are sweaty just looking at that photo.

    You are crazy, my friend...I mean this in the nicest way of course. I didn't want to laugh today...but you made me laugh against my will.
    I forgive you this time 😁😂😅😄

    God's Blessings Victor 💮

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    1. Laughter is good because it makes us remember the good times - today, yesterday and hopefully tomorrow too.

      God bless, Jan.

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  2. What a wonderful close!
    But I sure enjoying 'ha-ha-ha-ing' my way through this! Mostly. Just seeing that iconic photo, imagining myself amongst those men makes my knees weak. Nope, they don't print enough money to tempt me into going there.

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    1. Those were the days before Health and Safety and risk assessments and compensation cases in Court, I guess.

      I too would suffer from vertigo. My wife says if I don't change my socks daily she'll tell me vere to go!!!

      God bless, Mevely.

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  3. Just looking at that photo gives me the heebee jeebies, Victor! I can't stand heights in narrow places, and that's one narrow place, for sure. However, I did enjoy the sleep humor here, and the last little story is a gem. Yes, I do thank God first thing every morning.
    Blessings!

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    1. Thanx for your kind words, Martha. I'm so glad you liked this post. It must take a lot of courage to work at such heights. The highest I go is on top of the ladder to pick up the apples or pears from the top of the trees. I fell backwards once with the ladder on top of me.

      God bless.

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  4. Wouldn't see me sitting with those guys, too scary and nothing to hold on to. I hate it when you trip in a dream. I've had dreams where I trip and it wakes me up. Then I have a hard time falling back to sleep. :)

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    1. I've never understood why we get falling or tripping dreams. My guess is that we are perhaps not sleeping comfortably, perhaps not breathing well, and the brain "creates" the falling/slipping to wake us up so we get into a more comfortable position.

      What do you think?

      God bless, Bill.

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    2. That's an interesting thought, Victor. You might be on to something there. Maybe you can become a sleep consultant and help millions of people.

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    3. Sleeping is my favourite hobby, Bill. Especially when there's nothing good on TV. You're very kind to me.

      God bless you.

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  5. I could NEVER sit up there. So scary!!

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