This time Aunt Gertrude has gone too far. Her mad antics are
beyond redemption and forgiveness.
It happened on Saturday. I was looking forward to a peaceful
day alone as the whole family, including our visiting Aunt Gertrude from Australia,
planned to go to London sightseeing
and no doubt shopping.
On the day in question, for some unknown reason, Auntie
decided to stay at home. She made a joke about “baby-sitting” me and said no
more about it. After the family left she retired to her room to write some
letters to her friends back in Adelaide.
I sat in front of the TV to watch a business programme. I
must have been very tired because I soon fell asleep on the sofa.
About an hour later I was awakened by the door bell. I
answered the door and it was the postman seeking my signature for an important
letter he’d just delivered. As he gave me the letter he smiled and said
“G’day!” in a mock Australian accent.
I smiled and said nothing. I made myself a coffee and then
decided to walk to the newsagent down the road and get some papers.
On the way there I met Mrs Groggins who lives a few doors
away. She was in her front garden pruning her roses. We spoke for a minute or
two and as I left she said “G’day!” I thought it somewhat odd of her and went
on my way.
At the newsagent I picked my newspapers and decided to treat
myself with my favorite chocolates. I also, against my better nature, bought a
small box of best chocolates for Auntie Gertrude.
As I paid for the items the cashier smiled at me and said
“G’day!” as she handed me the change and receipt.
On my way back home I was somewhat puzzled at this sudden
Australian epidemic in our town. Perhaps they’d all met Auntie Gertrude and
they were emulating her accent and sayings. After all, she’s very noticeable is
Auntie; especially with her loud voice and distinctive accent. Coming up the
street were a young couple. As they approached me they looked at each other and
smiled.
Auntie Gertrude was still in her room. I read my papers and
had two large cups of coffee and not a few chocolates.
A bit later I went to the bathroom.
As I looked in the mirror, there on my forehead, written in
bright red lipstick was the word “G’DAY”
I nearly burst a valve as my blood pressure reached new
heights.
Auntie Gertrude laughed and said “I didn’t know you’d go out
looking stupid, cobber!”
Victor, you're hilarious! Good old Auntie! That Aussie sense of humour, hey, Victor:-D
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in my first year at uni, in Wales, I played the same joke on a friend. He woke up with black glasses and a moustache, and everyone kept laughing at him. I've never understood why the first person he came looking for was me:-/
I guess you'll really miss Auntie Gertrude when she goes home.
God bless, Fuss...Victor:-)
Actually, I can quite see you doing a trick like this.
DeleteI was wondering why everyone kept saying G'Day to me! Auntie still thinks it's funny. She says she meant it as a joke at home, for the family to laugh at when they returned. She never meant me to go out in the street like this.
God bless you Vicky.
You have to be careful where you fall asleep!
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Jose D. Pinell.
I agree Jose. I now keep an eye open for Auntie Gertrude.
DeleteGod bless.
Another surprising ending. Very funny. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteI must admit, Barbara, at the time it was not funny at all.
DeleteGod bless.
Well? Did you give Auntie G her box of chocolates or not? I don't know why I'm thinking about those chocolates...
ReplyDeleteG'Day!
Yes Hand-Maid, I eventually did give her the chocolates. I forgave her too.
DeleteG'Day to you and God bless you and yours.
Bravo, Victor! You have set my mind at ease...you are indeed a true gentleman, good sport and giving soul.
DeleteA very Good & blessed Day to you!
Good day to you too Hand Maid.
DeleteGod bless.