Monday, 30 November 2015
I am not sure if this happens a lot where you live, but this is something that happens a lot around here and to be honest it is getting a little out of control. I am talking, of course, about fundraising. Now, I am not against giving money to charity or for a good cause. Indeed I am known for my generosity and I often give at least one penny at the Sunday collection in church; even on those days when we Catholics excell at having a second and sometimes a third collection. That's three pennies in one day, I tell you.
No; what I am talking about is fundraising when people approach you and say that they will do something or other if you would sponsor them for charity. Often it is relatives or friends and you are immediately put under an obligation to put your hand in your pocket and sponsor them.
It's wrong, very wrong, I tell you. If someone wants to walk 50 or so miles why should I be punished by paying for it? If they want to take some exercise by walking aimlessly and hopefully lose some weight in the process, let them do so. Why should I pay for it? Or pay for people to swim long distances, or abseil down a building, or parachute from a plane.
It's ridiculous, I tell you. And just as ridiculous are the lengths people are prepared to go to to separate you from your hard earned pennies. A friend of mine suggested the other day that if he were to grow a beard for a whole month I sponsor him to back a particular charity. Well, I don't buy that. If he wants to be scruffy for a month that's his business.
Whatever next, I ask you? Will people volunteer to have a tattoo on their backside to be sponsored for charity? Mind you, if that person were a woman and she agreed to show proof of the tattoo I might well be persuaded to contribute a penny or two.
We've even had ladies featuring nude on calendars which they sell to raise money for charity. There are similar male calendars too; but not as good.
Anyway, just to prove that I am not a miserly Ebenezer Scrooge let me tell you right now that I am doing something for charity.
I shall be going on a first class holiday on a nice sunny beach for a fortnight or so where I will enjoy the local amenities and fine foods for charity. Will you sponsor me?