Thursday, 25 May 2017

Interview with my Publishing Agent

AGENT: I've been studying your files. Tell me, how many books have you written so far?

VIC M: Twenty-two. Some in paperback, some in Kindle and some in PDF format available FREE from my website.

AGENT: Great ... available FREE. No wonder I am earning peanuts as your agent. And the other books in paperback and Kindle are selling at a very low price indeed. What are you up to?

VIC M: Well ... the idea is not to make money. But to make sure that what I write, especially the Christian books, reach as many people as possible.

AGENT: Are you a Charity?

VIC M: No I am not. I just write books and hope that people enjoy them, that's all.

AGENT: Are you making a monkey out of me? As your Agent I should get 10% of your royalties, and according to my calculations 10% of Zero is still Zero. Understand? And if you pay your Agent in peanuts you get ...

VIC M: A very good agent. I know you're trying your best Bonzo ...

AGENT: Mr Bookshelf, to you. Bonzo Bookshelf ... that's my name.

VIC M: Mr Bookshelf, I appreciate you being my Agent and a good job you do too; but as I explained, my aim is to recover printing and sales costs, not to make money. That's why the book prices are so low, and some are FREE.

AGENT: As laughable as your Business Model and Strategy may be; I suggest we ... you ... do something to get more people to read your books. To reach a wider audience, or readership, as they say.

VIC M: What do you suggest I do?

AGENT: Have you thought of starting a Book Club?

VIC M: What's that?

AGENT: Get people to read your books and discuss them amongst themselves.

VIC M: You mean get them to meet at my house?

AGENT: No you idiot ... honestly ... you have the brain power of a lame pigeon. Your readers are from all over the place, America, Britain, Australia and so on. That's the beauty of AMAZON. You can't expect your readers to travel to your house. But you can get them to read a book and discuss it with you via e-mail. That's a one-to-one personal Book Club with the author. I bet not many authors do that. Your readers can write to you about a specific book you wrote and ask you about the plot, how you developed the characters, are they based on real people you know, and any other things they have gleaned from your books ... including the ones you so stupidly give away for FREE.

VIC M: That's not a bad idea.

AGENT: I'm not just a pretty face ... although some would dispute the aesthetics of my face. Have you got an e-mail address?

VIC M: Yes ... it's ... all e-mails come straight to my desk.

AGENT: Great ... so let's do that ... From now on your readers can contact you with their comments, views, opinions and so on on the books they have read, and you promise to reply to each one. Agreed?

VIC M: Yes ...

AGENT: Next, you need to tell people about this new Book Club you have just launched.

VIC M: How do I do that?

AGENT: Listen lame pigeon ... Post something based on our discussion on your Blog. Encourage people to comment in the comments box. They can say anything; even just "Hello!" Encourage them to encourage other people, like their friends and relatives, to comment too.

Perhaps your readers can mention this on their Blogs and get their readers to visit you and comment too.

Put all the names of those who have commented in a hat. Draw out one name and give the winner one of your paperback books. Any book. They can choose.

And if everyone who comments says they were sent to your Blog by someone else then you put the name of the person who invited them in the hat too. So people can have their names in the hat more than once. Once for commenting, and another time when visitors say they were sent to your Blog by those people.

And also ... wait for it ... wait for it ... If anyone writes a Customer Review on AMAZON and tells you about it you put their name in the hat too.

VIC M: I'll have to write all this down.

AGENT: Here ... let me do it for you!


1   Write a comment below. Any comment - not anonymous. (Your name is in the hat).

2   Tell your friends and relatives to do the same and mention your name. (Their name and yours is in the hat once again. Every time someone mentions you, their name and yours is in the hat again).

3   Write an article on your Blog about this competition. (Your name is in the hat).

4   Write a Customer Review on AMAZON. (Your name is in the hat).

That's four ways you can get your name in the hat over and over again. For example, write two Customer Reviews and your name is in the hat twice. More chances to win the draw and get ONE of the paperbacks sent to you. You choose which one you want. One person will win one book of their choice.

Also, anyone can join the Book Club by writing to


  1. Hi Victor,
    This was great! :-) I just purchased your "Father Ignatius" collection of short stories on Amazon yesterday, and I am enjoying it already! I will be posting a review soon! Thank you for sharing your heart of encouragement. Blessings to you!

    1. Thank you Bettie for your support and encouragement. Please let me know when you have posted a review.

      Your name is in the hat for the draw.

      God bless you, my friend.

  2. An agent--well my important friend!
    Do I get credit for all past performances??

    1. Sure Lulu. Sure. You are one of my most loyal, supportive, and kind friend I have met on the Internet. You have written three reviews on Amazon, plus your comment here. So your name goes in the hat 4 times. (Is my maths correct?)

      Now if you get your friends and family to leave a comment here, then their names, and yours, will be in the hat again. But thy must mention that you sent them here. How else would I know?

      Thank you, Lulu, for being such a wonderful friend. I bet you're very popular where you live.

      God bless.

  3. Victor, God Bless you for all you do to promote our Faith!

    1. Thank you Michael. Nice to see you visiting here again.

      God bless.

  4. Speaking of book clubs, if anyone is on Goodreads, which is a book club forum, I've become one of the moderators at the Catholic Thought book club. We read a Catholic book together every couple of months. If you're interested in joining the book club send me a note. Goodreads is free to join.

    Oh don't include me in your giveaway Victor. I already won once. Let someone else win. I always love that laughing monkey when I see him. :)

    1. Thank you Manny for commenting here and for your support.

      God bless you and yours.

  5. Thank you Victor for sharing our faith.
    May God bless you.

    1. Thank you Tina for visiting me here. Much appreciated. Please visit again soon.

      Your name is in the hat.

      God bless.



God bless you.

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