Wednesday, 7 June 2017

I lost my banana

Something very odd has happened in our household. We have had a burglar in the house and he stole nothing else but a banana. I kid you not. Not one thing in our house was taken, not one bar of chocolates which I hide somewhere secret, not one of the many books I have authored, nothing taken except for one banana.

It was there in a bowl of fruit. The last item to be eaten before we purchase some more. One lonely banana in all its glory. And now it's gone.

Everyone in our family claims that they did not take it. And I believe them.

So it leaves two options. Either the dog jumped on the table whilst we were out and ate it. Or a burglar came in and took it.

It can't be the dog, I think. Because the fruit bowl has not been disturbed and there is no sign of banana skin anywhere, unless the dog ate that too.

So it must have been a burglar. And the dog let him in no doubt. He is not much of a guard dog.

I remember we had a similar burglary some years back. It was just after we got married. A burglar entered our house and stole absolutely nothing except for my pictures. I had twenty or so pictures around the house, hanging on the wall, on the mantelpiece, side board and so on, of me in various poses, all taken by professional photographers. All these photos of me were taken and nothing else.

I wanted to call the police but my wife discouraged me. She said they'd never believe a thief would just steal only my photos; unless he was a great fan of mine that is.

So I did nothing.

Many years later I found all these photos, still in their frames, up in the loft covered in dust.

What kind of burglar is it that steals photos and then hides the loot up in the loft?

So I went up there and looked for my banana. I did not find it. But I found a number of other items I had lost over the years. Like the collection of antique door handles which I had started as a hobby before I got married. And the book about gaining friends and influencing people. A lot of good that did me in my youth; everyone avoided me as soon as they saw me. And that T shirt with the sexy slogan I used to wear. These and many other things were up in the attic. But no banana.

I think something strange is happening around here. How could the dog manage to take all these things and hide them in the loft. You'd think his instincts would be to bury them in the garden.

Maybe that's where he buried the banana!

Any ideas?


  1. Hmmm . . . maybe it was that monkey who was on your posts last week! Find him, find the banana! :-) Thanks for the smiles that you always bring!

    1. Oh Bettie ... I never thought it would be my literary agent Bonzo Bookshelf. He did complain that I only pay him in peanuts.

      It's great to see you smiling. God bless you, Bettie.

  2. Oh, my, maybe he did bury it in the garden! He can't talk and defend himself, so it's okay to place the blame on him! LOL! Have a wonderful day, Victor. :)

    1. Hi Cheryl,

      The banana mystery. Did the dog eat it or bury it? He will not say.

      God bless you, Cheryl.

  3. Sounds like a smart wife--I mean your wife while Spring cleaning put all your things in the attic and forgot---on accident as the Grands would say. I wouldn't worry--until she starts tossing them out the front door--as for the banana --WHO the heck keeps an inventory of their bananas???
    Blessings, Victor!

    1. I never thought it would be my wife, Lulu. All this time I thought it was a burglar who hid my stuff in the loft. As for the banana - no inventory was needed. It was just one lonesome banana in the fruit bowl with some apples and oranges. The banana vanished, but not the other fruit. Quite a mystery.

      God bless you, Lulu.

  4. That one lone missing banana, causing such a stir! So funny Victor, hope you are able to solve the mystery once and for all :)

    1. It's great to see you here again Marilyn. Thank you for visiting.

      "The mystery of the missing banana!" - great name for a film, don't you think?

      God bless.



God bless you.

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