Wednesday, 8 January 2020

Rude Nakedness

I think it was Groucho Marx who once said "If you want to have a good laugh stand naked in front of a full length mirror".

The thing is, there was a time when nakedness was rarely seen on the screen. Whether it was the cinema screen or on your TV at home.

Sex scenes in movies were implied rather than shown from every angle. People in bed always had an L shaped blanket or bed sheet, which covered the lady's upper part but went down to the man's waist revealing his nipples for all to see. Oh ... the scandal of it all!

But now, in modern sophisticated times all this has changed. And if you don't like it, or complain in any way, you are branded a prude, old fashioned, and perhaps a relic from ancient times which should be displayed in a museum.

Talking of which ... did you know that my grand-father was fired from his job as a museum attendant? One day he took his dog to work because there was no one at home and the dog ate a dinosaur's leg. He saw all those bones and thought it was Christmas and his birthday at the same time.

My other grand-father lost his job too at the same time. He always believed in fighting fire with fire. He was a fireman at the time.

My other grand-father, he was a chemist at a pharmaceutical company. He was also fired the same week for inventing an instant laxative.  

My other grand-father was also fired from his job as a zoo attendant. He looked after the snakes. He once hid a bottle of whisky in the snake glass cage. The snake opened the bottle and drank the whisky and was totally legless !!!

NOTE: The adjective legless is used as a British slang term to describe someone who is extremely drunk, particularly someone who can no longer stand or walk. It comes to something when I have to explain my own jokes. It made me laugh anyway when I first thought it.

Jokes are very territorial, you know. I can tell a joke in London and people would laugh their heads off; but in America no one would laugh. That is because they are too far away to hear it!

Anyway ... back to my grand-fathers. None of them ever went naked in public or had L shaped bed sheets.

Now things are different.

There is a trend developing here ... listen to me my friends.You're about to learn something new and when it becomes common knowledge you'll remember I said it first.

The more we talk about global warming and the world heating up a few degrees, the more you see singers on TV performing almost naked and celebrities revealing all. Now this is something relatively new. In the Olden Dayes of Yore ... who was Yore anyway?

As I was saying, in Tymes Gone By you did not see singers on stage singing almost naked. Imagine Doris Day, or Edith Piaf, or Patsy Cline, or Frank Sinatra in a skimpy itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini. Actually ... forget Frank Sinatra. He'd look awful in a bikini!

But now, turn on your TV and most female singers are wearing almost nothing. And in every film or theatre awards ceremony you see the ladies walk the red carpet in more and more revealing dresses which leave nothing to the imagination. Singers in particular do this. Like that one who sang whilst sitting on a wrecking ball. I watched that video several times to work out the weight of that wrecking ball and whether the chain could withstand the extra weight of the singer on it. You can learn a lot about physics from such videos, you know.

Anyway ... The very first naked people in the world were of course Adam and Eve when they went around with no clothes and having barbecues in paradise.

Say, that's a great title for an Oscar winning movie - "Barbecue in Paradise". I'll write the lyrics to the song. It would be a great success. Then I'll turn up at the award ceremony in a backless and frontless dress.

So there you have it. Rude nakedness - and all because of global warming.

22 comments:

  1. I KNEW there had to be an explanation besides the depravity of man as to why more and more nudity is showing up. Global warming. Why not? It gets blamed for everything else. As for your humor...but I do thank you for explaining the legless connection. I was clueless.

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    1. And another thing, Bill ... did you know that global warming is due to candles. Just think of how many candles are burning in the world right now. In restaurants, at the dinner table, on birthday cakes, in churches, in bathrooms ... I mean ... who needs a burning candle when having a bath? What if it singes one's hair? All these candles contribute to global warming. I tell you ...

      God bless, Bill.

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  2. Global colding would be a whole different scenario now wouldn't it. :) I never heard the legless connection before. It's interesting to learn the different meanings of slang in language.
    Enjoy your day, Victor.

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    1. Global colding would put an end to all this rude nakedness, Bill. All this melting of the ice caps would stop too. Why do people have ice caps anyway? Why not have woollen ones, or warm fur hats instead?

      Legless is an old English slang. Something I've experienced after a few Guinnesses!

      God bless, Bill.

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  3. Hmmm... Learn something new every day...


    legless
    /ˈleɡləs/
    Learn to pronounce
    adjective
    adjective: legless

    1.
    having no legs.
    "caecilians are legless amphibians that resemble worms"
    2.
    informal•British
    extremely drunk.
    "he was legless after his booze-up at a nightclub"

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    1. Yep ... you got it, Ryan. Being legless means being extremely happy after a drink too many. Cheers!!!!

      God bless.

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  4. Global warming is another excuse for women to show but not tell that the earth is getting hotter at awards ceremonies
    Maybe when men show up for these award shows in their tux's pants without their shirts and jacket and wearing only a tie...someone will take notice. I know that I would :)
    Great post again Victor!

    God's Blessings 💮

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    1. Well Jan ... if my song "Barbecue in Paradise" and the film win an Oscar I might turn up to the award ceremony as you describe. I'll invite you to the ceremony too.

      God bless.

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  5. Something to be said for leaving things to the imagination except I have a horrible imagination, I prefer skimpy.

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    1. The wrecking ball video was skimpy. Did you see it?

      God bless, JoeH.

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  6. And once again, global warming is being blamed for the trend in indiscreet behavior! Lol! I think that was Miley Cyrus on that wrecking ball, too. She is a singular wreck herself, sadly.
    Blessings, Victor!

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    1. I must admit, Martha, that when I saw the video, several times, I was not looking for her name. I was more interested in the weight of the wrecking ball. Honest!

      God bless you always, Martha.

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  7. I can remember wearing a mini skirt back in the 60's and the raised eyebrows that caused with some family members!!!

    I think that was quite tame with what goes for normal these days … having said that what is normal? For one person's normal isn't what is normal for another!

    There is no decorum these days...perhaps I'm just getting old! LOL!

    Interesting to read your post Victor, many thanks.

    All the best Jan

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    1. The thing is, Jan, these days it has gone far beyond just a mini skirt. Some of the videos of singers these days leave little to the imagination. I can't help thinking that if the song was good, or they were talented, they would not need to resort to this level of undress. Not that I am complaining!

      God bless.

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  8. Thank you for the explanation, i will pray hard for a global cooling soon!

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    1. Yes ... with global cooling we will return to the good old days.

      God bless, Mimi.

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  9. That makes about as much sense as anything else that's been said. I won't shrink from the term 'prude.' No, I've always believed a suggestion of flesh is more provocative than say, full-frontal nudity. Sadly, nothing's left to the imagination any longer.

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    1. I know, Mevely. Nothing is left to the imagination; and my imagination needs reminding often!

      God bless you. Keep smiling.

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  10. Times certainly have changed. We don't go to the movies or have have television anymore.

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  11. I've wondered a lot about this rude nakedness trend. Thanks for the explanation, Victor:)

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    1. It's all to do with global warming, Chris. I am sure of it.

      God bless you.

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