Wednesday, 8 January 2020
The thing is, there was a time when nakedness was rarely seen on the screen. Whether it was the cinema screen or on your TV at home.
Sex scenes in movies were implied rather than shown from every angle. People in bed always had an L shaped blanket or bed sheet, which covered the lady's upper part but went down to the man's waist revealing his nipples for all to see. Oh ... the scandal of it all!
But now, in modern sophisticated times all this has changed. And if you don't like it, or complain in any way, you are branded a prude, old fashioned, and perhaps a relic from ancient times which should be displayed in a museum.
Talking of which ... did you know that my grand-father was fired from his job as a museum attendant? One day he took his dog to work because there was no one at home and the dog ate a dinosaur's leg. He saw all those bones and thought it was Christmas and his birthday at the same time.
My other grand-father lost his job too at the same time. He always believed in fighting fire with fire. He was a fireman at the time.
My other grand-father, he was a chemist at a pharmaceutical company. He was also fired the same week for inventing an instant laxative.
My other grand-father was also fired from his job as a zoo attendant. He looked after the snakes. He once hid a bottle of whisky in the snake glass cage. The snake opened the bottle and drank the whisky and was totally legless !!!
NOTE: The adjective legless is used as a British slang term to describe someone who is extremely drunk, particularly someone who can no longer stand or walk. It comes to something when I have to explain my own jokes. It made me laugh anyway when I first thought it.
Jokes are very territorial, you know. I can tell a joke in London and people would laugh their heads off; but in America no one would laugh. That is because they are too far away to hear it!
Anyway ... back to my grand-fathers. None of them ever went naked in public or had L shaped bed sheets.
Now things are different.
There is a trend developing here ... listen to me my friends.You're about to learn something new and when it becomes common knowledge you'll remember I said it first.
The more we talk about global warming and the world heating up a few degrees, the more you see singers on TV performing almost naked and celebrities revealing all. Now this is something relatively new. In the Olden Dayes of Yore ... who was Yore anyway?
As I was saying, in Tymes Gone By you did not see singers on stage singing almost naked. Imagine Doris Day, or Edith Piaf, or Patsy Cline, or Frank Sinatra in a skimpy itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka-dot bikini. Actually ... forget Frank Sinatra. He'd look awful in a bikini!
But now, turn on your TV and most female singers are wearing almost nothing. And in every film or theatre awards ceremony you see the ladies walk the red carpet in more and more revealing dresses which leave nothing to the imagination. Singers in particular do this. Like that one who sang whilst sitting on a wrecking ball. I watched that video several times to work out the weight of that wrecking ball and whether the chain could withstand the extra weight of the singer on it. You can learn a lot about physics from such videos, you know.
Anyway ... The very first naked people in the world were of course Adam and Eve when they went around with no clothes and having barbecues in paradise.
Say, that's a great title for an Oscar winning movie - "Barbecue in Paradise". I'll write the lyrics to the song. It would be a great success. Then I'll turn up at the award ceremony in a backless and frontless dress.
So there you have it. Rude nakedness - and all because of global warming.