Wednesday, 6 July 2022

Beware and be on the look out.

 

Look folks, far be it for me to spread panic and alarm through the Internet. There are already so many scare stories these days like sightings of aliens from outer space, ghosts, the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, the Umbilical Snow Man, UFOs that abduct people and big cats roaming the countryside attacking sheep and cattle and so on ... you don't need me to add to the list. 

Our TV these days is full of programs of such scare stories that keep me awake at night nursing a bottle of whisky. There was a program the other day about a huge fierce wolf the size of a house with two heads and three backsides to make him go faster. 

Why do they show programs like these? Are we meant to take them seriously?

Anyway, all that aside, I feel it is my duty to just mention two local reports from around here and leave it to you to believe them or not.

There have been no actual sightings in the first story; just evidence that leads one to believe what one wants to believe. Suffice it to say that locally it has been called the "Monster".

It seems that this "Monster" eats bicycles. There have been at least three bicycles and one motorbike eaten recently in this town. All that was left of the bikes was the wheels and tires. The frames were totally eaten and you can see what looks like teeth marks from the photos in the newspapers. 

One of the bicycles was chained to metal railings. The bike was eaten but not the metal railings. Experts believe that they taste different perhaps. The frame of the motorbike was also eaten but not the wheels and seat.

These are only rumours substantiated by the evidence of items being chewed and eaten. One moment the bicycles were parked in the street, (one was in the back garden of a house), and the next morning only the remains were there as evidence.

The second story, also local, is somewhat similar in nature. There have also been reports of underwear hanging on the line to dry being eaten by giant moths the size of a golf ball. Only the elastic bands remained. 

This has proved very distressing to the ladies of our local Can Can Dance Troupe. They are very famous in this Northern town of Poole.

As I said, I do not wish to spread panic and alarm. These are just rumours spreading around locally. Be careful out there and take care of your bicycles and underwear.

23 comments:

  1. Poole a Northern town...? Poole is just a half hours drive
    from me here in Dorset..(Gods own county)..in the South..! :).
    New atlas required Victor..! :)

    Now! That l've settled down and stop shaking..Cos l believe
    in all those so called sightings...Yes! We've had a few over
    the years to..down here in Dorset, and even Devon and
    Somerset, sighting of BIG cats..BIG pussies..(no comments
    please)..even photos..there was one last week of a Black
    Panther, down in Devon l think it was..quite a clear and
    distinctive picture..!

    And of course living in the country, all sorts of things are
    seen and heard, the noises are amazing sometimes,
    especially when the milkman is delivering the milk, first
    thing..! :(

    Well..l can't sit here talking 'monsters' all day, it's Wednesday,
    so it's ladies coffee morning..so must go spruce myself
    up...! Then get on me bike..! With or without underwear..! :O).
    🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷 🐷

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Breaking News, Willie: Just heard that Poole will be moved up North on the border with Scotland. I'm not sure whether they'll move the town itself, or name a town up-North "Poole" and give your town a new name. Any ideas? Any local rumours from where you are? Ask the ladies in your coffee mornings.

      God bless.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    3. No! The rumour about Scotland is that when they
      get their independence..the 73 miles long Hadrian's
      wall will be rebuilt...leaving a gap of 12 inches every
      100yrds in the wall..so food can be passed through..!

      Not rumours..but fact..!
      Dorset is among the top 20 safest counties in
      England, Wales, and Northern Ireland...
      The overall crime rate in Dorset in 2021 was
      60 crimes per 1,000 people...!

      Rumours of a food shortage.....where l live..?
      Turned out to be a complete lack of pies...!

      Rumor has it there's a basketball court on the
      roof of our Corn Exchange building..It's the
      highest court in the land...!

      Two cows are standing in a field....
      One of them says, "There's been rumors going
      around about a 'Mad Cow Disease.'
      Do you think it's real?"
      The other cow says, "I don't care! I'm a helicopter!"

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    4. 60 crimes per 1000 people? Why not arrest the 1000 people and crime will drop to zero?

      I really like the cow joke. Brilliant.

      Is it real you have a basketball court on your Corn Exchange building?

      God bless, Willie.

      Delete
    5. HeHe! No! It's just a rumour...! :)

      Delete
  2. Dearest Victor,
    Well, most of those monsters that make motorbikes and bicycles vanish, don't leave any remnants behind...🏍🚲
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No ... no signs of the monsters. Only the bicycle wheels remain and bits of metal frames. I'm only reporting what I heard at the hairdressers' this morning. His name is Hair Kutz.

      God bless, Mariette.

      God bless, Mariette.

      Delete
  3. ...I don't believe in aliens from outer space, ghosts, the Loch Ness Monster, Big Foot, the Umbilical Snow Man and UFOs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But they all exist, Tom. Honestly they do. Also bicycle eating monsters and huge moths that eat underwear.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. We need some evidence to solve this problem.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've not seen any evidence. These are only rumours and a few bicycle wheels ... oh ... and a few elastic bands.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. I agree with Bill - We need some evidence!
    Blessings, Victor!

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    Replies
    1. I agree Martha. As I mentioned to Bill, a few elastic bands are the only evidence; but that's stretching it a bit.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  6. I will be on the look out for the bike eater, but Imma not looking for the underwear eater, just sayin'.
    Enjoyed the visit. again, thanks for all your prayers.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm holding tight to my underwear with a belt and braces.

      God bless you and Sherry, Jack.

      Delete
  7. Umbililcal Snow Man? LOLOLOL! Okay. I, too, will keep my hungry eyes peeled.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Look out ... there's always a rumour about, Mevely. And keep smiling always.

      God bless you and yours.

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  8. Not to worry, it's all just rumors. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who starts rumours anyway? Not me!

      God bless, Happyone.

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  9. My clothes drying rack is indoors, so no moths. We'll tell the neighborhood children to hide their bicycles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Better be safe than sorry. Moths can come indoors too; especially with the lights on.

      God bless.

      Delete

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