Monday, 27 July 2015

The toilet roll


They say that life is like a toilet roll; the nearer it gets to the end the faster it goes round.

How often do we speed busily through life from one thing to another and rarely have the time to stop and enjoy what life is all about.

Let's slow down a bit and make happy memories for tomorrow.


Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Finding Jesus

 
A man is stumbling by the riverside totally drunk pulling his horse behind him. He is just too drunk to even be able to ride the horse, having tried several times and fallen off within minutes.

As he walks by the river with his horse he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river and shouting in a loud voice "Repent you sinners. Repent and find Jesus!"

He staggers to the river’s edge and subsequently he falls in dragging his horse behind him. 

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol. He asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”

The drunk answers, “Yes I am”.

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”

The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t”.

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?”

The drunk answers again, “No, I haven’t”.

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up. 

The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where He fell in?”

There’s a message in this joke for us Christians. How often, whilst well-meaning, we try to tell others about our beliefs and end up confusing them and perhaps, un-wittingly, driving them away from God rather than towards Him.

It is worth remembering that not everyone is at the same stage of knowing God as perhaps we are. You wouldn’t feed a new-born baby pizza or French fries; would you? So let’s go easy with new Christians or people who have yet to know the Lord as we do.

The best way to teach Christianity is by living it as Jesus would want us to.

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” St Francis of Assisi.

Monday, 20 July 2015

The wall of Jericho

Once upon a time a newly appointed Religious Instructions teacher at a school asked her class "Who broke down the wall of Jericho?"

Tom sitting up front said "It was not me, Miss!"

The teacher was so appalled at the level of ignorance of her new class, that she reported the incident to the Head Teacher.

The Head Teacher took the matter seriously and asked Tom's parents to attend the school for an explanation. He told them what Tom had said and asked them if they had anything to add. Tom's mother burst out crying and said "My Tom is a good boy. He never lies. If he said he never did it then I believe him!"

The Head Teacher was furious and turned to Tom's father.

Tom's father was more pragmatic about it all. He said "Let's treat this whole thing like grown-ups shall we? You get the wall fixed and I shall pay the costs involved."

When the parents had left, the Head Teacher called the Religious Instructions teacher, to explain what had happened.

She said "Really? Is that what Tom's father suggested?"

"Yes," replied the Head Teacher, "let's get a builder in to fix the wall quickly before he changes his mind!"

Personally ... I think the father was too hasty to offer to pay the costs without knowing how much it would be.

What do you think?

Saturday, 18 July 2015

Perception

Some years ago I put up a notice in my office at work saying: PERCEPTION IS TRUTH.

A number of my staff asked me what it meant.

I explained that no matter how clever you are, how hard-working, conscientious, diligent and self-motivated. If others get the impression that you’re not really that good then, in their mind at least, that image of you is correct.

You’ll have to work really hard to convince others that you’re not really as they perceive you.

The same applies to us Christians. We may think whatever we may think about ourselves – but what image of Christianity are we portraying to others?

Friday, 17 July 2015

Octo Facts

In my research I have uncovered a number of facts which probably you did not know about Octopuses. For a start, the plural of octopus is in fact octopuses and NOT octopussies as some people believe. But that aside, let's consider some really interesting facts.

Scientists have discovered that the octopus is in fact a very intelligent creature. It has several "brains" which are located in their arms or tentacles and not in the head as you would imagine. The reason for this is that each tentacle has several suckers which are controlled independantly. So the creature needs some sort of reflex action/reaction in the arms or tentacles to control all those suckers. Thus the "brain" in the tentacles does this.

However, apart from that form of "low level" intelligence based on reflex actions scientists have discovered that the octopus can actually be taught just as we can teach a child or a pet dog.

For instance, after years of trials and experiments marine biologists have taught an octopus to count up to eight.

Despite several attempts to teach him to count further, all efforts have failed, and it is therefore unlikely that any octopus will become an accountant any day soon. This is because accountants have to count higher than eight, and also they have the benefit of calculators to help them in this respect.

Scientists have given the octopus several calculators - eight in fact. All that the animal did was juggle them over his head with great alacrity.

At this point I must confess that I had to look up the word alacrity as I did not know what it meant. The octopus picked up my dictionary and juggled it too with audacity and gusto. Audacity and Gusto were not too pleased about it though.

Anyway, the scientists took the calculators away and gave the octopus tennis balls. He promptly juggled them above his head and managed up to eight balls at a time. The octopus was given a tennis racket but he was completely useless with it. Which explains why no octopus has ever won Wimbledon or any other world tennis tournament.

It is said that if you are ever stung by an octopus on the beach the best way to counteract the sting is to pour urine on it. The acidity of the urine neutralises the sting.

This happened to me once on the beach and someone suggested the remedy to me. Unfortunately, despite the fact that many people were there at the time, no one volunteered to oblige and come to my aid.

As I'm sure you can imagine, it was not physically possible for me to self-administer this cure whilst standing on one leg. Which is where the octopus has an advantage on us humans.

In many countries the octopus is a delicious delicacy enjoyed in many upper-class restaurants. Unfortunately the dish is very expensive because the octopus runs so fast with his eight legs that no human can catch him quickly enough. Which is another reason why the octopus has been banned from entering any Olympic races or any running tournament for that matter.

On the rare occasion an octopus is caught and taken to the kitchen he wrestles with the cook and throws all the knives and kitchen utensils all over the place. When he is sometimes over-powered and put into a large pot of water, (with a little salt, pepper, and a hint of origano), the octopus uses his free tentacle to turn off  the cooker.

Another intimate and somewhat delicate fact is that male octopusses find it very difficult finding a girl-friend. This is because whenever they meet, their arms are all over the place which is somewhat upsetting for the lady octopus. I mean ... can you imagine sitting at the back of the cinema and feeling an arm coming round behind your neck for a cuddle? And as you remove one arm another moves forward to replace it?

(Thinks ...) (I tried that once in the cinema and I got a black eye! I'd forgotten she was a wrestler by the name of Ten Ton Pye).

And that's all about the octopus for now. A creature with eight legs because eight brains are better than one; and mine hurts right now having written all this for you. I hope you appreciate the length and sacrifice I go to to inform and educate my readers.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Thank you Lulu

Once again, I am very grateful to one of my most loyal and kind readers - LULU.

Lulu blogs HERE and I would recommend you to visit her and say Hello. You'll enjoy what she writes about.

I am grateful to Lulu because she has just posted a very nice review on AMAZON about my book "The Priest and Prostitute".

This is what Lulu had to say about my book:

"A man of many talents, Victor, entertains us with a "Who Don It" in this offering! What I liked MOST about the story---the reminder to not jump to judgement based upon circumstances! Victor tells a story with a touch of tongue in cheek--always--and adds a lesson in morality and faith while weaving an intriguing tale of murder and mystery. The faithful stand by Father Ignatius, but most fall away and even call for heads to roll--reminiscent of the last days of Christ. A talented writer, Victor, has once again used the infamous Father Ignatius to keep us on the edge of our seats--while at the same time gently reminding us of important life lessons. A Great Read!"

See the Review HERE.

Thank you so much Lulu for your generosity and kindness. God bless you.

If any other of my readers has posted a Review on AMAZON please let me know so that I may thank you publicly here. Reviews posted in one country are not always shown on other countries' websites; so I may well have missed what you wrote. If so, sorry and thank you most sincerely.

God bless.

Monday, 13 July 2015

Reflections for the Soul



REFLECTIONS FOR THE SOUL
Victor S E Moubarak 
ISBN-13: 978-1514851210
Paperback and Kindle formats

A selection of readings to help you reflect and meditate when praying or when in need of inspiration.

This book asks pertinent questions such as:

Does God exist? Who is Jesus? What is the Holy Spirit?

Can we really trust God? What happens when we lose all hope and our Faith falters?

Why do some people pray to Saints and the Virgin Mary? Is it idolatry? How does God view such prayers?

Why does God appear to be angry and vengeful in the Old Testament yet we are told He is a loving caring Father in the New Testament? Was it a change of strategy and tactics?
 
These and many other questions are explored and explained in easy to read short chapters. You can read the reflections in chronological order or just open the book at any page and read what is there. Hopefully, it will help you in your prayers.

The author uses humour where appropriate to help deliver a memorable message. You may find a hidden gem in what he writes.

AMAZON LINK HERE