Monday, 27 July 2015

The toilet roll

They say that life is like a toilet roll; the nearer it gets to the end the faster it goes round.

How often do we speed busily through life from one thing to another and rarely have the time to stop and enjoy what life is all about.

Let's slow down a bit and make happy memories for tomorrow.

Wednesday, 22 July 2015

Finding Jesus

A man is stumbling by the riverside totally drunk pulling his horse behind him. He is just too drunk to even be able to ride the horse, having tried several times and fallen off within minutes.

As he walks by the river with his horse he comes upon a preacher baptising people in the river and shouting in a loud voice "Repent you sinners. Repent and find Jesus!"

He staggers to the river’s edge and subsequently he falls in dragging his horse behind him. 

The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of alcohol. He asks the drunk, “Are you ready to find Jesus?”

The drunk answers, “Yes I am”.

So the preacher grabs him and dunks him in the water. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, “Brother, have you found Jesus?”

The drunk replies, “No, I haven’t”.

The preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him into the water again for a little longer this time. He again pulls him out of the water and asks, “Have you found Jesus, my brother?”

The drunk answers again, “No, I haven’t”.

By this time the preacher is at his wits end and he dunks the drunk in the water again, but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds, and when he begins kicking his arms and legs, he pulls him up. 

The preacher again asks the drunk, “For the love of God, have you found Jesus?”

The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the preacher, “Are you sure this is where He fell in?”

There’s a message in this joke for us Christians. How often, whilst well-meaning, we try to tell others about our beliefs and end up confusing them and perhaps, un-wittingly, driving them away from God rather than towards Him.

It is worth remembering that not everyone is at the same stage of knowing God as perhaps we are. You wouldn’t feed a new-born baby pizza or French fries; would you? So let’s go easy with new Christians or people who have yet to know the Lord as we do.

The best way to teach Christianity is by living it as Jesus would want us to.

“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” St Francis of Assisi.

Saturday, 18 July 2015


Some years ago I put up a notice in my office at work saying: PERCEPTION IS TRUTH.

A number of my staff asked me what it meant.

I explained that no matter how clever you are, how hard-working, conscientious, diligent and self-motivated. If others get the impression that you’re not really that good then, in their mind at least, that image of you is correct.

You’ll have to work really hard to convince others that you’re not really as they perceive you.

The same applies to us Christians. We may think whatever we may think about ourselves – but what image of Christianity are we portraying to others?

Friday, 17 July 2015

Octo Facts

In my research I have uncovered a number of facts which probably you did not know about Octopuses. For a start, the plural of octopus is in fact octopuses and NOT octopussies as some people believe. But that aside, let's consider some really interesting facts.

Scientists have discovered that the octopus is in fact a very intelligent creature. It has several "brains" which are located in their arms or tentacles and not in the head as you would imagine. The reason for this is that each tentacle has several suckers which are controlled independantly. So the creature needs some sort of reflex action/reaction in the arms or tentacles to control all those suckers. Thus the "brain" in the tentacles does this.

However, apart from that form of "low level" intelligence based on reflex actions scientists have discovered that the octopus can actually be taught just as we can teach a child or a pet dog.

For instance, after years of trials and experiments marine biologists have taught an octopus to count up to eight.

Despite several attempts to teach him to count further, all efforts have failed, and it is therefore unlikely that any octopus will become an accountant any day soon. This is because accountants have to count higher than eight, and also they have the benefit of calculators to help them in this respect.

Scientists have given the octopus several calculators - eight in fact. All that the animal did was juggle them over his head with great alacrity.

At this point I must confess that I had to look up the word alacrity as I did not know what it meant. The octopus picked up my dictionary and juggled it too with audacity and gusto. Audacity and Gusto were not too pleased about it though.

Anyway, the scientists took the calculators away and gave the octopus tennis balls. He promptly juggled them above his head and managed up to eight balls at a time. The octopus was given a tennis racket but he was completely useless with it. Which explains why no octopus has ever won Wimbledon or any other world tennis tournament.

It is said that if you are ever stung by an octopus on the beach the best way to counteract the sting is to pour urine on it. The acidity of the urine neutralises the sting.

This happened to me once on the beach and someone suggested the remedy to me. Unfortunately, despite the fact that many people were there at the time, no one volunteered to oblige and come to my aid.

As I'm sure you can imagine, it was not physically possible for me to self-administer this cure whilst standing on one leg. Which is where the octopus has an advantage on us humans.

In many countries the octopus is a delicious delicacy enjoyed in many upper-class restaurants. Unfortunately the dish is very expensive because the octopus runs so fast with his eight legs that no human can catch him quickly enough. Which is another reason why the octopus has been banned from entering any Olympic races or any running tournament for that matter.

On the rare occasion an octopus is caught and taken to the kitchen he wrestles with the cook and throws all the knives and kitchen utensils all over the place. When he is sometimes over-powered and put into a large pot of water, (with a little salt, pepper, and a hint of origano), the octopus uses his free tentacle to turn off  the cooker.

Another intimate and somewhat delicate fact is that male octopusses find it very difficult finding a girl-friend. This is because whenever they meet, their arms are all over the place which is somewhat upsetting for the lady octopus. I mean ... can you imagine sitting at the back of the cinema and feeling an arm coming round behind your neck for a cuddle? And as you remove one arm another moves forward to replace it?

(Thinks ...) (I tried that once in the cinema and I got a black eye! I'd forgotten she was a wrestler by the name of Ten Ton Pye).

And that's all about the octopus for now. A creature with eight legs because eight brains are better than one; and mine hurts right now having written all this for you. I hope you appreciate the length and sacrifice I go to to inform and educate my readers.

Thursday, 16 July 2015

Thank you Lulu

Once again, I am very grateful to one of my most loyal and kind readers - LULU.

Lulu blogs HERE and I would recommend you to visit her and say Hello. You'll enjoy what she writes about.

I am grateful to Lulu because she has just posted a very nice review on AMAZON about my book "The Priest and Prostitute".

This is what Lulu had to say about my book:

"A man of many talents, Victor, entertains us with a "Who Don It" in this offering! What I liked MOST about the story---the reminder to not jump to judgement based upon circumstances! Victor tells a story with a touch of tongue in cheek--always--and adds a lesson in morality and faith while weaving an intriguing tale of murder and mystery. The faithful stand by Father Ignatius, but most fall away and even call for heads to roll--reminiscent of the last days of Christ. A talented writer, Victor, has once again used the infamous Father Ignatius to keep us on the edge of our seats--while at the same time gently reminding us of important life lessons. A Great Read!"

See the Review HERE.

Thank you so much Lulu for your generosity and kindness. God bless you.

If any other of my readers has posted a Review on AMAZON please let me know so that I may thank you publicly here. Reviews posted in one country are not always shown on other countries' websites; so I may well have missed what you wrote. If so, sorry and thank you most sincerely.

God bless.

Monday, 13 July 2015

Reflections for the Soul

Victor S E Moubarak 
ISBN-13: 978-1514851210
Paperback and Kindle formats

A selection of readings to help you reflect and meditate when praying or when in need of inspiration.

This book asks pertinent questions such as:

Does God exist? Who is Jesus? What is the Holy Spirit?

Can we really trust God? What happens when we lose all hope and our Faith falters?

Why do some people pray to Saints and the Virgin Mary? Is it idolatry? How does God view such prayers?

Why does God appear to be angry and vengeful in the Old Testament yet we are told He is a loving caring Father in the New Testament? Was it a change of strategy and tactics?
These and many other questions are explored and explained in easy to read short chapters. You can read the reflections in chronological order or just open the book at any page and read what is there. Hopefully, it will help you in your prayers.

The author uses humour where appropriate to help deliver a memorable message. You may find a hidden gem in what he writes.


Sunday, 12 July 2015

Christ's wobbly table

If I may quote Martin Luther King: If it falls your lot to be a street sweeper, sweep streets like Michelangelo painted pictures.

Many people go through life enduring their job from day to day and treat it as a means to earn a living – and no more. And as time goes by, so does the pride they have in their work, and inevitably their standard of performance deteriorates.

Whatever job we have to do in life, whether it is an influential position of power or a carpenter like Christ, it is our duty, surely, to give it all the attention and skill that we possess. Can you imagine Jesus making a table with a wobbly leg?


Then why should we? Whatever task we have been given to do – let’s make sure it is not wobbly.

Friday, 10 July 2015

Recorded for posteriority

You know, I read the other day that if you drive non-stop for 23 hours and 55 minutes you’ll be 5 minutes from Tulsa!

Anyway … as I was about to tell you before I interrupted myself, what an eventful day today has been.

I started the morning by visiting my doctor.

The poor man was not well and I thought it’s kind to visit the sick.

As soon as I entered the doctor’s surgery he asked me to lie down on the couch. I asked him why and he said: “I want to vacuum clean just where you’re standing!”

Then he looked at me and asked “Do you get severe headaches in the morning, followed by stomach pains and trembling of the knees?”

I replied “No … why?”

“Because I’ve been getting these symptoms for a week and I wondered if you knew what they were!" he said.

“Anyhow … what are you here for?” he continued.

I showed him my arm and said “I’ve hurt myself in three places.”

He replied, “Stop visiting these places!”

“And another thing doctor,” I went on, “when I drink tea I get this very sharp pain in my eye.”

“Take the spoon out of the cup before drinking!” he said.

I hesitated for a bit and then told him what I was really there for.

"You see, doctor," I started, "sometimes I feel I am a dog."

"How long has this been going on?" he asked.

"Ever since I was a puppy!" I replied.

"OK ..." he said, "get on the couch."

"I'm not allowed on the couch," I replied. He sighed a little and threw his pen in the corner of the room. "Go and fetch it yourself," I said, "I'm not your dog!"

As I got off the couch the doctor asked me, “Tell me, do you have a horse?”

“No I don’t!”

“Pity,” he said, “I have some horse pills I got from a vet … you wouldn’t like to try them do you? You’ll soon be off at a gallop!"

When I returned home I found the postman in my front garden.

“Is this letter yours,” he asked, “the surname’s obliterated.”

“My surname is Moubarak” I replied.

He gave me the letter. It was from a lawyer. I had been left two valuable items in Aunt Matilda’s last will and testament.

I took the items to an antiques dealer and he confirmed them as a genuine Stradivarius and a Rembrandt.

Unfortunately, Rembrandt was bad at making violins and Stradivarius was a terrible painter!

As I was heading back home, just by the beach, a seagull flew above me and emptied its load on my head. I asked a passer-by if he had a paper handkerchief. He said "It's too late mate. The seagull must be miles away by now!"

When I got home I was asked what's this stuff on my head. I told them it's a new style hair gel I got from the shops.

Anyway, that's how my day was today. What was yours like?

Thursday, 9 July 2015



If like me ... 

You have a nervous disposition ... 

please don't see this video more than ONCE !!!

Wednesday, 8 July 2015

Predicting whether the weather ...

It has been very hot in the UK lately. Apparently, it's been hotter than many other places which are known to be hot. Some days it was over 40 Degrees C in the shade. I was clever though and did not stay in the shade.

The weather forecast woman on TV said it's been the hottest day "since records began".

This set me thinking ... when did records begin?

I researched and found out that a long long time ago a man wrote down on a piece of paper "Phew ... it's hot today. Records have begun."

The next day, he wrote on another piece of paper "Wowie and double phew ... it's been even hotter today. It's been the hottest day since records began yesterday."

This went on for some time with the man writing every day how hot, cool or cold it was. Then, years later, another man called Thermo, invented the thermometer. It was a small tube filled with coloured spirit and with markings on the side. He could therefore measure how hot or cool it was by reading how far the liquid expanded in the tube.

He reasoned that if he put the thermometer in his mouth for a few minutes he could tell how warm or hot it was outside, or inside a house for that matter. Unfortunately, after a few days of such measurements he realised the temperature he was measuring was somewhat similar every day; regardless of wether it was sunny and hot, or cloudy and cool outside.

His wife scoffed at his invention and suggested he might as well stick his thermometer somewhere else. He tried that for a few days but the readings were still similar to the ones he took before; regardless of the weather outside. He therefore reasoned, quite rightly as it happens, that there was some connecting channel between his mouth and the other place.

He threw the thermometer aside and gave up on the whole idea.

His wife, however, whilst doing the cleaning everyday, noticed that the coloured spirit in the tube moved to different locations depending on how hot, cool or cold it was.

And that's how weather measurements began. As often happens, it was a man's idea improved by a woman. Which also explains why the weather forecast on TV is always more interesting when it's a lady presenter rather than a man.

Like everything else I write here, this is all factual and true.Who are you going to believe? Your common sense, or what I tell you?

Monday, 6 July 2015

A Tail of Two Fishes.

This is a true story.

Years ago we had two fishes in a tank in the living room. They were of the goldfish variety. They swam to and fro happily in their tank and all was well.

Well ... not that well really. Because every week I had to empty the tank, clean it, re-fill it with fresh clean water and put in all the necessary tablets that fish require in a tank to live happily and swim to and fro.

After a long period of this weekly tank cleaning I'd had enough. So I put the two fishes in our newly dug pond at the end of our back garden and left them to it. They had to swim or sink as it were!

It's a lovely pond. Much larger than the tank they were in previously, with freshly planted pond weeds and floating flowers of various varieties which I could not name. I guess the pond is no bigger in volume than a couple of bath tubs; (depending on the size of bath tub you have in your bathroom of course; but then you wouldn't admit it here would you?)

Anyway, I left the fish there and every so often we threw in a few fish-feeding pellets which you can get from the pet shop in case the fish survived and were waiting there at their dinner table to be fed. This went on for about a year.

One day I was sitting there by the pond and noticed little one-inch sized silver-coloured fishes floating around in the pond. I looked carefully and yes ... they were small fishes all right. The original two gold-fishes which were about five inches or so big, were also there. I'd recognised them by their large almost transparent tails. The small fishes were swimming around very fast. There were between 6 and 6000 fishes, depending on how quickly you can count moving fishes.

The whole family was over-excited that the two goldfish had survived and now had a family of babies. Over time, the babies grew up to become lovely goldfishes which we can now count easily. There are now exactly eleven fishes in the pond, including the original two; depending of course on how good you are at counting moving fishes.

All this happened some ten or so years ago; and the eleven fishes are still there.

One thing I've often wondered though. Are the original two fishes still there, or have they died and been replaced by new fishes?

I really don't know. But I can tell you this. And this is the honest truth, my friends; believe me!

When I sit by the pond and call the fishes, as I used to when they were in the tank in our living room. I call them saying: "Hey fishy fishy ... hey fishy fishy fishy ..."

Believe me it's true. The fishes totally ignore me just like the original two did when in the fish tank!

Friday, 3 July 2015

The Leaning Tree

Father Francis Maple in one of his sermons makes a good point about our relationship with God by referring to a leaning tree. Here's what he says:
I think of a life as a tree. If a tree leans in one direction when it dies it will fall in that direction. It is not going to fall in the opposite direction. So, too, with our lives. If all the time we are leaning towards God, very likely, with God's grace we shall fall into His arms when we die. But if our lives never point to God, it is very likely that when we die we shall die in enmity with God.
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