Wednesday, 16 September 2015

BEWARE OF TECHNOLOGY


"You know son, as your father, it is incumbent upon me to warn you when you do things wrong and all that ..."

"What do you mean?"

"Take your portable telephone gizmo that you have. I've read it is dangerous. A man at work the other day had one just like yours and he was watching something on the screen and fell off the ladder he did ... Kept going up and did not realise he had run out of ladder ..."

"Very funny, dad!"

"It's true boy. Also these contraptions emit bad things like microphone waves or something. They'll fry whatever little brain you got left. Like this thing you have always stuck to your ear."

"Dad, I have Bluetooth!"

"There you are then. It started already. You must see a dentist before it gets worse."

"Dad, it is called Bluetooth."

"I don't care what it's called boy. We didn't have it when we were young. Just the odd bit of tartar on our teeth, or a cavity every now and then. Not electro what's it illnesses like now. Also they let off magnets these gadgets. Magnetism gets out of them on your fingers when you touch the screen. It's even worse ... the magnet thingies fly off the screen and into you. Pretty soon when you get in the kitchen all the metal utensils will stick to you."

"Dad, you really don't understand about technology. It doesn't work like that. There are no little magnets and ..."

"Don't patronise me boy. I know more about technology than you'll ever know. Those table mats things, like the one you have, are just as bad!"

"They are called tablets! Mine is an Apple."

"An apple? When we were young that was a fruit, that was. You'll be telling me you have a blackberry next. Your grand-mother, may she rest in peace, used to make lovely apple and blackberry pies, she did. I'll tell you something else boy. There's no mention of technology in the Bible. When God told Moses to come up the mountain He gave him the ten commandments on real tablets of stone, He did. Not plastic tablets. They were well carved by a top class sculptor, I shouldn't wonder. God would have used the best of craftsmen to make His commandments; so they would last for ever. Mind you ... that careless Moses broke the first set didn't he, the clumsy oaf! But God had another set as a spare copy ..."

"Made on a photocopier, no doubt!"

"Don't be insulting, boy. Which reminds me ... that stupid microphone oven you got your mom in the kitchen. It's trash. It does not work. I put a few slices of bread the other day to make toast and they went round and round and were all soggy. Not toasty at all; like in the toaster."

"You did what? It's not meant to make toast. Why did you not use the toaster?"

"It was broke as well. The bread got stuck and I tried to get it out with a fork and got an electric shock! When we were young we used to make toast by holding the bread in front of the open fire."

"Are you against all form of modern technology dad? Shall I take away the washing machine too?"

"You might as well ... for all the good it's done. The other day I put my red shirt amongst the washing your mom put in and everything turned pink. She was furious you know. She blamed me instead of the machine, and withdrew her favors for at least a week ..."

"Poor dad ..."

"Don't mock me, boy. I know you're not listening and I might as well be talking to myself. I'll just go and watch the football on TV."

17 comments:

  1. Hi Victor! This is so true about my dad. He called me over to his house because his Kindle was acting up. He said it was displaying 'Amazon' on it and he couldn't get rid of it. Sounded weird, but I went over to take a look.

    The poor man had taken the Kindle out of the holder to power it up, and then put it back upside down. He was looking at the back of the Kindle! He was so embarrassed, but you know, at least it was something I could fix!

    It's one thing to get confused by today's technology, but a good idea to remember how dependent on it we are! (Especially the TV!)
    Blessings,
    Ceil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Technology can be so confusing, especilally for old folks. When my computer doesn't work properly I usually hit it hard on the side. My computer expert tells me it costs more to fix it when I do that. But it feels great.

      God bless you, Ceil.

      Delete
  2. I am laughing at you & Ceil! I will NEVER tell of all my techno mishaps!
    Blessings, Friend!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why is it Lulu that they can't make a toaster without a "burnt to cinders" setting? Who likes to have toast totally burnt?

      And why does the telephone always ring when I'm in the bathroom? Why can't they make telephones that wait when you are ready to receive a call?

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. You made my day!!! I;m grinning from ear to ear!! Have a wonderful day!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Technology has really taken over our lives. The only reason i'm here is through a computer and the internet. But am I really here? Or there? Or no where?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who are you? Are you there or here, Manny? Are you a figment of my imagination or your imagination? Come to think of it, do you like figs? They're a figment of a fig tree's imagination. Imagination is fascinating. Have you ever been fascinated? I was fascinated with a needle when I was a child.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  5. I, for one, am thankful for my technology. After all, I would not be able to read these great stories without all of it! God Bless you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're so very kind, Michael. Thank you. You're right that technology can be helpful, even if somewhat complicated at times.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  6. This story is hilarious, Victor! My parents have so much trouble with electronics. Me, I just ask my daughter if I am stuck and can't figure something out - the kids know how everything works.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too true, Mary. Children seem to know quite a lot about technology, and everything else, these days.

      Good to see you visiting again.

      God bless.

      Delete
  7. My daughter is 12 now and has to take a computer programming class at school. Say what?! And when I asked her if she was having any trouble with it she said, "Nah, it's easy." I breathed a sigh of relief because that's one class I certainly couldn't help her with! The other is math...lol. They have this weird new math in the US that is worse than computer programming. You would it's hilarious.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ahhh...I forgot the "think" after "you would".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mary,

      Here in the UK the Government wants all state schools to teach computer programming. The thing is, not many teachers, (especially the older ones), are too familiar with computers, never mind programming. They may be able to use a PC or laptop; but not to program. We have a shortage of teachers in State schools - especially teaching Maths and computing. I can't see if they have a shortage of teachers why they can't recruit taller ones. Anyway, what is height to do with one's ability to teach?

      When your daughter grows up she should come over here and teach.

      God bless you and your family.

      Delete
  9. Victor, do you do the cartoons/graphics on here yourself? They are wonderful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes and no, Mary. I have a CD of cartoon characters which I place on a white background (using a special program) and then add the speech bubbles, background scenery and so on.

      I normally get an idea for a cartoon and then find the right characters to fit the scenery and speech bubbles.

      God bless you, and thanx for your support of my work.

      Delete

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God bless you.

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