Sunday, 3 January 2016

Dear God please make it stop


Sing to the Lord a new song. (Isaiah 42:10) (But sing it well!)

In most churches there is a bit of singing during the service or during Mass. And this is good. Especially when the congregation sing with one voice, or when we have a well-trained choir singing well, and all is bright and beautiful.

In some churches I have visited, however, all is not as well and bright and beautiful. I have noticed there is often a tendency for one individual to stand in front by the microphone, Sunday after Sunday, sometimes accompanied by the choir, but more often than not just accompanied by the organ music, and regale us all with their voice.

Now I don't know if these individuals think they are Caruso, or Maria Callas, or such like singers; but they clearly are not.

In fact I have named one individual Caruso in my mind because of the way he stands straight and opens his mouth very wide when he sings; no doubt sucking in every passing fly for miles around. I have also named a certain singing lady, who alternates some Sundays with Caruso, "laryngitis" because she sounds like a cat making love to a hedgehog.

Why is it, I ask myself, that these two individuals, (and there are many similar others in other churches), somehow manage to get themselves in a position where they are supposedly leading the congregation in song, and more often than not they are only performing solo whilst the congregation sits there watching each other or watching down at their feet pretending to pray.

I noticed it today. Caruso went on and on singing alone whilst everyone in church was sitting there waiting for it to end, watching their watches and hoping that the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse would soon arrive and end it all.

And why does the priest allow this to happen Sunday after Sunday? Why does he not encourage the likes of Caruso or Laryngitis to sing "far away".

When Caruso gave us his rendition of some unknown hymn today, I looked up to Heaven and imagined Jesus handing out ear defenders to one and all, whilst God was reaching for the headache tablets.

I suspect some of you may think my views un-charitable and perhaps harsh; for which I ask forgiveness. But I feel we would all be better off with a little less bad singing and a bit more good deeds.

6 comments:

  1. Some appear to be so tone deaf they do not realize how badly they sound. Have been there and done that in another church long ago. Today in the Contemporary church it has become a floor show--with lights, smoke, acoustics---the whole nine yards. Somehow we need to get reverence back in the picture.
    Monday Blessings, Friend!

    ReplyDelete
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    1. What????

      Lights, smokes and acoustics in church? That's too far, I think. And here's me complaining about Laryngitis accompanied by a deaf organist. I think the priest let's them be because there's no one else volunteering.

      God bless, Lulu.

      Delete
  2. Oh, my! I think you are right. There are some that I wish would sing "solo" - "so low" that none of us would have to hear it OR "tenor" would be nice - "ten or" twenty miles down the road! Do people not notice when they are so off-key or obnoxious in their singing? I suppose they are tone deaf, or perhaps just so intent on being "seen" that they value the limelight more than their own respectability! Oh, my! You made me laugh on this one, as a few choice "Caruso-types" came to mind! LOL!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thing is Cheryl, they probably think and believe they are doing the church a service by singing on Sunday. And in the absence of anyone else volunteering they are there week after week giving the congregation and God a headache.

      I'm glad I made you smile, and it's nice to see you visiting again.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. This is hilarious: "she sounds like a cat making love to a hedgehog." I've heard similar singing :). I guess some people truly can't hear themselves. I know I personally will never find myself on a stage singing into a microphone!

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    Replies
    1. Hello Candace,

      How nice to see you visiting here. We hope you return soon.

      Believe me, Laryngitis does sound that bad. But then, I suppose she has more courage than me standing there singing every Sunday.

      God bless you.

      Delete

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