Tuesday, 14 March 2017

The Baked Beans Dilemma

Every so often I like to have a full English breakfast. Beans on toast, fried eggs and tomatoes, sausages and bacon as well as mushrooms.

So there I was last Saturday preparing breakfast for the family. The eggs were frying happily in the pan whilst the sausages and bacon were under the grill. The mushrooms and tomatoes warming gently and the toast just popped out of the toaster.

I opened a can of beans, poured it in the pan and ... to my surprise, it was all tomato sauce. I looked deep in the pan ... just tomato sauce. I stirred in a spoon and  ... success ... I found one bean. Just one bean. The whole can was filled with tomato sauce and just one bean.

I looked under the lid in case the other beans were hiding there. But no ... none were to be seen.

I read the label in case this was a new economy brand of beans with fewer beans to cut costs. But no ... it seemed a normal can. The ingredients said "65% beans, 20% tomato juice, 10% water." It did not say what the remaining 5% was made of.

I read the instructions again, in case they expected me to plant the bean and grow more beans like in the story Jack and the Beanstalk. But no ... all it said was heat gently in a pan for a few minutes. Do not let boil.

So ... what do I do next? Breakfast is almost ready. The family is gathering round the table. I search the cupboard for another tin. There was none. This was the last one.

I hear singing from the other room, "Why are we waiting? Why are we waiting?"
  
What do I do in this situation? I can hardly serve beans on toast with no beans? Or cut the one bean into tiny portions to serve everyone?

What would you do?

I quickly picked a packet of frozen peas from the freezer and poured a generous portion into the beans sauce and turned the heat on.

Et voila ... baked peas on toast.

The family complained that these were not beans. I told them they were a new kind of green beans especially imported from Greenland where everything is green.

They did not believe me. They said these were peas in a tomato sauce.

I think education is a bad thing. People should believe what I tell them not what they have learnt.

14 comments:

  1. my Dad always loved a hearty English breakfast. but he would have scowled for sure at the sight of green peas lurking on his plate ...

    ;-}

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They were a new kind of green beans from Greenland, Linda.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  2. Hi Victor! Well, first of all, I'd be mightily grateful for your efforts to make me breakfast. It sounds wonderful! I am not much of a fan of tomatoes, beans or peas for breakfast I must admit, but I'd try to choke it down because well...I didin't have to cook!

    New beans from Greenland? Hmmm...
    Ceil

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thing is, Ceil, a good English breakfast is nice, but it is very difficult to manage all the different ingredients at the same time - eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms and so on. Sometimes one can also have black, or white, pudding, for breakfast. Have you tried it? Or even haggis or faggots.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. Oh, my! What a terrible pickle to find yourself in, Victor! I think your improvising was genius! You must be a fabulous cook! God bless you, my friend. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am certainly a fabulous cook, Cheryl. Our dog can vouch for that. Sadly, no one else agrees.

      God bless you and your family.

      Delete
  4. Beans for breakfast? That's a full English breakfast? That will give you gas all day long! Hahaha. No wonder the English no longer rule the world. It's because of their breakfast. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very funny, Manny. Yes, some people do have a full English breakfast. Not every day maybe. That is cereals to start with. Then a plate of beans, bacon, sausages, mushrooms and tomatoes. Some can also add or substitute hash browns, (potato triangles), black or white pudding, (sausage), or sometimes haggis or faggots, (meat mixture). Then toast with marmalade or jam with a cup or two of tea.

      Then it is time for coffee and biscuits at around 11.00am and then lunch.

      Tasty!!!

      God bless.

      Delete
    2. I have to say I have never heard of people having beans for breakfast. I'm American and Italian, and I've never seen beans on a breakfast menu in either country nor heard of any American or Italian having beans for breakfast. That is interesting you include them in Britain.

      Delete
    3. I'll admit, Manny, we don't have a full English breakfast everyday. By beans, I mean baked beans with tomato sauce - like Heinz baked beans. I take it you have them in the USA.

      Just look at the photos in this article. Don't they just make you hungry? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Full_breakfast

      Bon appetit - or Buon Appetito, my friend.

      God bless.

      Delete
    4. Oh yes we have them and I love baked beans. But not for breakfast. :)

      Delete
    5. I wish you'd come to Britain. You could then try a full English breakfast.

      God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
    6. Funny you should say that. I may be coming to London on a business trip toward the end of May. It's not a 100% yet and I'm not even sure my passport is in order. But if I do make it over, I will order a full English breakfast and let you know what I get. :)

      Delete
    7. If you do come to London, depending on when it is and your time-table, I'll do my best to come over to London and meet you, if you wish. If I possibly can, I'll certainly travel to London to share a few minutes with you, and a Guinness perhaps.

      God bless.

      Delete

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