Tuesday, 24 April 2018

Inventions that changed the world


It never ceases to amaze me how inventive and creative is the human mind, and how many inventions we have developed over the years, over the centuries, which not only have helped human kind and advanced its knowledge and well-being, but have actually been vital to our very existence.

They say that the world's greatest ever invention was the wheel; but I do not agree. Perhaps the greatest invention was the second wheel, because then you had a bicycle.

But there have been many other great inventions since then; perhaps even better than the wheel. The door bell for instance. Before the door bell people had to knock on doors to be let in. Most doors in ancient days had ornate door knockers made of metal, sometimes brass or iron, and you lifted the knocker which was attached to the door by a hinge and you made a knocking sound which reverberated throughout the house and people inside would let you in.

This gave rise to knock knock jokes. I'm sure you've heard most of them so I won't bother you with any right now. But when the door bell was invented people stopped telling each other knock knock jokes. They all seemed to have died down somehow.

Knock knock
Who's there
Grandad!
Quick, open the coffin!

Anyway ... as I was saying, did you know my grand-father was a great inventor. He invented the colour mauve. Before then there was red, and there was blue, and violet, and purple, but no mauve. He went to the shops with my grandma and she tried a dress on. She asked him, "Do you like the colour? What is it called?"

He was eager to go home and replied, "Come on ... move!"

She said, "Mauve ... that's my favourite colour from now on!"

The other day at a fancy restaurant I discovered another new invention. An electric fork. You press a button and the fork end goes round and round to help you pick up spaghetti from your plate. It's rather dangerous if you happen to get it caught in your beard, though. I got an electric shock from it too.

Personally, I think the greatest invention ever is the left shoe. If they hadn't invented the left shoe you'd be walking round the street limping with every step because one leg would be shorter than the other. You'd have to walk on the edge of the side-walk with the right foot with a shoe on the road, and the left bare foot on the side-walk in order to walk straight. The problem with this is that you'd be going round and round the same block turning left all the time and never getting to where you want to go. Unless it was somewhere on the block where you live, like the shop down the road. Once you bought what you wanted you'd go all the way round your block until you reached your house once again.

The left shoe invention solved all that problem.

Another great invention, just as good as the left shoe I reckon, is the whoopee cushion. Before the whoopee cushion people had to rely on baked beans to make embarrassing sounds at parties. Or cabbage or Brussels sprouts. The whoopee cushion spared us from eating such stuff and now we can have a great laugh at any occasion without worrying what we eat. They are great fun at all gatherings, especially funerals. Just place a few whoopee cushions on the pews in church and watch what happens as the mourners sit down with their long sad faces. It's guaranteed to cheer everyone up in the most solemn of occasions.

I remember once I attended the funeral of a friend who was a clown at a travelling circus. Someone had placed a number of whoopee cushions on the pews. It was great fun when we all sat down together after the first hymn!

19 comments:

  1. Haha, the great horrors of knock knock jokes and mauve! :)

    "Perhaps the greatest invention was the second wheel, because then you had a bicycle."

    Brilliant!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I'm so glad I made you laugh, Sandi.

      God bless.

      Delete
  2. These are some really great inventions. : )
    Always enjoy stopping by.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And it is a great pleasure to see you visiting us, Happyone. Thank you.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. I'm loving the way your mind works, Victor! My late uncle-the-undertaker would have loved that service featuring whoppee cushions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The thing is, Mevely, my mind seems to be coming up with ideas for sketches or funnies all the time. When driving, on the bus, walking or whatever. So I have to write them up quickly to post here, or publish in books.

      I am so glad you enjoyed this post. Thank you for visiting me again. Much appreciated.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. That must have been quite a funeral Victor. Thank you for this delightful post.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Denise, what a funeral it was. The hearse kept honking the horn every few seconds, the doors fell off, the steering wheel came off in the driver's hands, and every so often the driver's seat would fly up in the air. They could not put the lid on the coffin because the dead man's big shoes protruded up from the coffin.

      Keep smiling. God bless.

      Delete
  5. Definitely the left shoe, but how do you know the right shoe was invented first?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Because in the early days, most people being right handed, they made a right footed shoe. They put them for sale and it never occurred to them to make a left shoe. They used the same template with which to cut the leather soles and it was always a right footed sole, and shoe.

      I read all this in a book I am writing.

      God bless you, Terri.

      Delete
  6. One of my cousins is such a practical joker, and your bit about the whoopee cushion brought back some funny memories. Thanks for the laugh today, Victor! Blessings!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So glad that I made you laugh, Martha.

      God bless you and yours.

      Delete
  7. I remember the whooppee cushions, what fun we had when we were young. Lots of laughs too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are the greatest invention ever, I think.

      God bless you, Bill.

      Delete
  8. These are all good! You gave me a laugh - or maybe two today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is so good to laugh, Mari. Thank you for your visit.

      God bless.

      Delete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. So *that's* how mauve got its name!

    A bit more seriously, I've read speculation that string may be the first or basic technology. It makes sense: without string we can carry two things at a time. Maybe more, if we one is small enough to keep in our mouth, or hold in cupped hands. Less, for big or bulky items.

    String lets us 'string' things together, and carry the - - - bundle? Stuff on a string?

    It's also the basis of cloth: woven together, we can make sacks to hold and lots of stuff.

    And maybe that's why crass materialism and greed came into the world. And so if we forswear sting we shall end forever all such folly.

    Or maybe not. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you say here, Brian, is all true. Yes, string is one of the first inventions, if not the first. It was invented by prehistoric man to take their dinosaurs out for a walk, or to tie them at night to guard their homes. Originally, someone tied a string to their finger to remind him to invent something to tie the dinosaur to the post outside his house. Then he strung all the strings together to make a rope made of tree fibres and vegetation, (like what Tarzan swings from). So string came first, and then rope and then the other inventions.

      God bless.

      Delete

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...