Monday, 30 September 2019
Gadgets ... Gadgets ... Gadgets ...
A friend of mine is really mad about gadgets. He has a device which opens his garage door just as he approaches his house. Somehow, the garage door detects his car approaching and opens automatically and switches the garage lights on. Very impressive.
He is in the entertainment industry. So proud of himself that his telephone does not ring - it applauds him whenever someone calls.
And the applause does not stop there. When he's at home all he needs to do is tap his hands and the lights come on. One tap lights on. Two taps the curtains are drawn shut. Three taps they are open. Four taps the fire is on in the fire place. It's great fun when there's applause on TV and someone calls him on the phone at the same time.
I'll admit to something though ... years ago someone gave us a bedside lamp that lights up to sound. It did not have an ON/OFF switch. You tap and it lights up! You tap again and it switches off. I threw it away after a week. It kept switching on and off all night when I broke wind.
My friend also has a small device always stuck in his ear. I asked him what it was and he said it's his cellular phone. He says "Call Vic" and the device somehow dials my number and he talks to me without using his phone. He is often seen walking in the street talking to himself; or to someone else on the other end of this contraption in his ear.
The other day we went to the zoo as a family. His family and mine. It was a pleasant day throughout until we approached the ostrich enclosure. The ostriches are in an open area with a barrier separating us from them.
I don't know whether it was a floating ostrich feather or high pollen count but suddenly my friend started sneezing violently. He shook his head forward and the device flew out of his ear and into the enclosure.
Immediately ... an ostrich arrived from nowhere and swallowed the device.
For the next few days, every time someone phoned my friend they heard a loud SQUAWK in their ear. They thought his secretary had just sat on a cactus, or had some other misfortune whilst answering the phone.