Catholic Heaven

A man dies and goes to Heaven where he is face to face with St Peter.

The keeper of the Pearly Gates taps his computer keyboard a few times and asks: “What’s your religion?”

The man eagerly replies “Catholic”; knowing full well that this is the one and only true Church which Jesus founded all those years ago. Jesus was after all Catholic Himself.

St Peter looks up and says “Catholic hein? Not another one!”

“Is that bad?” asks the man worryingly.

“It’s that we have quite a few Catholics in here,” continues the Saint, “and we get more trouble from them than any other religion.”

“How so?” gulps the man in a panic.

“Well … they think they know it all for a start. They’re so judgmental too. And they argue so much … There’s a chap we’ve put in a room by himself and he still argues when he looks at a mirror. Something about Latin being the only true Catholic language …

“Do you know … some of them believe they’re the only ones here! We’ve put all the Catholics in one corner of Heaven and told everyone else to keep very quiet when they walk by there so as not to confound their belief.”

“Is that where I’ll go … if I’m accepted in Heaven?” asks the man with some hope in his voice.

“Well …” replies the Saint, “your credentials are in order. We can let you have access to the whole of Heaven where you can meet everyone else; as long as you don’t go around saying that Catholic is best!”

“Agreed … I promise!” says the man with a smile.

“Oh … and one more thing,” continues St Peter, “always carry a tin of sardines in your pocket. In case you come across another Catholic who insists on eating fish on Fridays!!!”

And the moral of this story is: As a Catholic, I am bound to ask, "Do the Catholics set a good example for others to emulate?"

SIMILAR STORIES TO THE ONE ABOVE HERE

 

 

Does God not want me to love her? PART 2

 

.

See Part 1 of the story HERE

A few weeks after meeting Father Ignatius, Reginald and Helen returned to see the priest. They sat in his office and this time Helen spoke first.

“Thank you Father, for seeing us,” she said, “let me explain … Reg and I have had a long chat … many long chats really. So much so that at one time the possibility of us marrying was totally non-existent.”

She hesitated. The priest decided to say nothing. He noted that Reginald was rather nervous.

“The thing is,” she continued, “I was brought up in a Christian family although we never went to Church on Sundays or any other times. The only time we went to Church for baptisms of other people, weddings and funerals. I’m not quite sure what my parents believed; they are both dead now …”

“I am sorry to hear this,” interrupted the priest.

She smiled briefly and went on, “I guess they were Christian in name only … many people are these days. As I grew up, the more I thought about it the more I was convinced, or perhaps I convinced myself, that God does not exist. Seeing so much evil and so much suffering in the world today, I can’t see how a loving God can allow all this to happen.

“Anyway … the honest truth is that I do not believe in anything. Call me an atheist, or agnostic or whatever, I just can’t get it into my head that God exists. I feel it would be wrong and hypocritical to pretend to believe just to get married in this or any other Church.”

“That’s a very noble attitude,” said the priest calmly.

“As I said,” she continued, “Reg and I have talked about this a lot. I guess he has learnt a lot about himself, we both have … He said he strongly believes in God and that He has seen God’s hand in his life in the past. He gave me examples.”

Reginald shuffled nervously in his chair and crossed his legs. He tried to lean back a little and crossed his arms as well. It was obvious Helen was quite forceful in this relationship.

“The thing is, Father,” she continued politely, “we are truly in love with each other; of that there is no doubt. I would have been happy to marry in a civil ceremony by the registrar, but Reginald is adamant it should be a Christian … Catholic … ceremony blessed by God. I suppose that is testament to his faith.”

Father Ignatius smiled and said nothing. Helen continued before Reginald spoke.

“We are both trying to save this relationship,” she trembled a little, “it would be a tragedy I believe if we were to call the whole thing off and we never met again. I can’t see a way out really … neither of us can.

“Reg told me about what you said about raising children, and in order to keep the two of us together I have solemnly sworn and promised him that should we have children they should be brought up Catholic like Reg. Baptised here, and have Communion, Confirmation and go to your school. I am desperate… we both are … to save this marriage. We don’t want just to live together un-married. I believe in marriage for life.

“But I have to be honest to myself, Father. At the moment I just do not believe in God. I can’t just force myself to believe just to get married in Church as Reg wants. Can you help us?”

Father Ignatius took off his glasses and pretended to clean them. A trick he had learnt when he wanted some thinking time. He also prayed silently for guidance and for these two young people caught in a dilemma born out of love.

“It seems to me,” he said still calmly, “that both of you are honourable people both having different views and yet honest and open about them.

“You are deeply in love and want to make this union you proposed blessed in the eyes of God.

“There is nothing stopping you of course in getting married in a civil ceremony by the registrar. The Church cannot stop that although it would not recognise the marriage as a Catholic one.

“What I could do, is write to the Bishop on your behalf and seek his permission for a marriage between a Catholic and a non-Christian ... an atheist as you said earlier. There are some conditions to be met which I will explain later. If we get the Bishop’s permission then you can marry in Church and the marriage will be valid; although it will not be Sacramental.

“Let me explain … in the Catholic Church a Sacrament like Baptism, Communion, Confirmation, Confession are channels through which God can work. For a marriage to be a Sacrament, both spouses must be Christian; which is not the case here.”

Reginald and Helen frowned. He said, “I don’t understand, Father.”

“Yes, it is complicated a little,” the priest went on, “what I am saying is that with the Bishop’s permission you can marry in Church which will be a valid marriage; but it is not a Sacrament like when you were baptised, Reginald, and had first Communion, Confirmation and so on.

“You will be free to continue in your Catholic faith as you do now, Reginald. If anything, your faith seems to have been re-affirmed because of this. Although you Helen are not received in the faith until you are baptised.

“You are always welcome here at Masses if you wish but you cannot partake in the Sacrament of Communion.”

“I understand …” she said without any emotions.

“I will write to the Bishop,” continued Father Ignatius, “but more important I will pray for you that God may bless your union and give you a long and happy life together.

“Helen … as I said, you are always welcome here. There are many leaflets in Church which you may pick up and read more about our faith. They are all free. Also, should you at any time be interested to learn more, my colleague Father Donald runs Christian Encounter sessions for people wishing to know more about Christianity. He’d be glad to see you there as so will I at any time you wish to discuss anything. 

"I'll let you know when I hear from the Bishop."

Does God not want me to love her?

Young Reginald called at Father Ignatius’ office as arranged. He was a little nervous as he announced, “Father, I wish to get married!”

“Oh …” replied the priest hesitating for an instant, “You’re getting married. Congratulations. I wondered why you rang yesterday asking for an urgent meeting. I’ll get you some leaflets about the Marriage Encounter weekend. It will be held at the Monastery at the edge of town. It starts on a Friday afternoon all the way to Sunday afternoon and it is free. It is for couples intending to get married and there are various talks and discussions about the commitments we take on when we take this big step in life.”

Reginald smiled weakly and said nothing. The priest continued for something to say and to encourage the nervous young man to speak.

“Who is the young lady? How come you did not bring her with you?”

“She does not come to this church!” replied Reginald.

“Oh … she’s from a different denomination?” asked Father Ignatius, “that’s not a great problem. Many Catholics marry Christians from other denominations … other religions too. There are some things I’ll have to explain to both of you when we next meet!”

“No Father,” interrupted Reginald “she is not of any denomination or religion. She does not believe … I mean … she says there is no God!”

“I understand,” said Father Ignatius in his calm manner which he had honed over the years in order to defuse tense situations, “and how do you feel about that?”

“She’s not a bad person really …” said the young man, “she just says that there is no God. She doesn’t believe in anything.”

“Yes, I can see she is not a bad person,” smiled the priest to ease the tension, “you would not want to marry a bad person would you? But do you see the situation this creates? Both of you would be standing at the altar in front of God to make your vows, and one of you does not believe He exists!”

Reginald said nothing.

“And as you go on into married life, and you’re blessed with children, how do you intend to bring them up?” asked Father Ignatius tentatively.

“Oh … Helen believes that children should make up their own minds when they grow up what religion they should follow or whether there is a God at all,” the man replied without hesitation, “children should not be indoctrinated in any faith or belief!”

The priest noted that the young man’s response had been direct and very well-rehearsed; but he did not react to it.

“I have known you since you were a baby baptised at this very church,” he said calmly, “do you think you have been indoctrinated in any way?”

The man shrugged his shoulders and said nothing.

“Let me ask you something,” Father Ignatius went on, “let us imagine you had been brought up just like Helen suggested. Without any teaching or knowledge of God. Would you today have been a Christian?”

“I don’t know …” Reginald replied looking downwards.

“In that case it is a good thing you met Helen and got to know her,” Father Ignatius said, “because she has made you think about your own faith. She has made you question what you truly believe and why.

“As children grow up, they need guidance from their parents, and other adults. They need to be taught right from wrong, how to behave towards others, different values and morals, and how to be a good citizen and a member of society. It isn’t just religion that needs to be taught or not; but many different aspects of life. If we don’t teach religion, as Helen suggests, then we might as well not teach other things like good behaviour, the rule of law, and let youngsters make up their own minds when they grow up as to how they live and behave. We should not indoctrinate them in anything.”

“Does God not want me to love her?” mumbled Reginald.

“Of course he does,” said the priest, “you fell in love with Helen and that’s a good thing. You both love each other and wish to marry, that’s why you’re here. Many people don’t even bother to get married and just live together.

“What I am asking you to consider Reginald is two things primarily.

“First of all, I think you should question your own faith and beliefs. How truly do you believe in God? Now that you are an adult and can make up your own mind as Helen suggests, you need to examine your own beliefs and on what basis you hold these beliefs.

“On that first step, rests the answer to your situation. No one is telling you not to love Helen. Often people are attracted to each other and fall deeply in love. But for that relationship to last it should be based on some solid foundations. Both should agree on certain things as they go through life together. Why they’re getting married, whether they will both work or not, whether they’ll have children, what beliefs and values and standards are important and vital enough to impart to their children … and so on.

“I’m not sure how many of these things you have discussed with Helen; or whether you’d be happy for any children you have not to be raised in the faith.

“As I said, you need to think about your own beliefs first and move on from there. I’ll always be here to help you and Helen if you wish. Father Donald too can help. He runs the Christian Encounter sessions for people wishing to know more about being Christians.

“Why don’t you discuss all this with Helen and let me know what you decide. She is welcome to come along with you if you wish.”

Queen Elizabeth II

 

Zoo Keeper's Report

 

NAME: Dumbo SPECIES: Elephantidae (Elephant)

Dumbo, you had a productive year this year and the good news is that you are still one of the main attractions in the zoo accounting for 87% of visits to your enclosure compared to other animals. However, let's face it, you have nothing new to offer except just standing there swinging your trunk left and right. You lack initiative and originality. I expect you to fly in the coming year.

NAME: Humphrey SPECIES: Genus Camelus (Camel)

OK Humphrey, I think we have worn out that joke about your name. What do you call a camel with three humps? Ha ha ... We need to change the notice on your enclosure to something more original. Any ideas? Why don't you chew on that and come up with suggestions? And every now and then take a bath or a shower. You smell like a camel's armpit!

NAME: Lammy SPECIES: Lama Glama (Llama)

We've discussed this before and you are on your final warning, Lammy. For some reason you are still a major attraction in this zoo, which is what saves you from becoming a steak at our next barbecue. However, you still insist on spitting on the visitors and often in the face. This is hardly conducive to good customer relations, is it? I will admit it is funny; especially that time when you spat in that fat woman's ice cream and she did not notice it and licked it clean. But the joke has gone too far. Stop spitting or else!

NAME: Reeno SPECIES: Rhinocerotidae (Rhino)

Look Reeno, you are so thick skinned it's unbelievable. It's as if nothing gets through to you. If I have told you once I have told you a million times. Will you stop leaving your excrement deposits in the enclosure in full view of the public. It smells to high Heaven, it attracts flies, and it confuses visitors. The other day some people thought they were molehills and wondered why they could not see any moles. Just go and do your business behind the bushes where I showed you by example.

NAME: Baloo SPECIES: Ursidae (Bear)

You certainly are an attraction Baloo. People still visit your enclosure to see the Disney character bearing your name. See what I did there? Bearing your name ... ha ha! The thing is, you just sit there doing nothing. You really are no different to others in your species like Icypops your polar cousin, or Koala who is an impostor and really not a bear at all. How about doing something original that would make you stand aside from the crowd? Have you learnt the words to "The Bare Necessities" as I told you?

NAME: Polly and Gone SPECIES: Psittacines (Parrots)

OK Polly and Gone, unless you improve your behaviour you will both be pollygone - that is no longer here. Get it? I have warned you several times not to be rude to the visitors. Telling that man the other day, "And from whose nose were you picked?" was not funny at all. When he complained, neither of you apologised as I suggested; and you Polly questioned his parenthood. And I must remind you that you are not sponsored by a fried chicken outlet so stop mentioning it or else you'll both be Kentuchy Fried Parrots!

NAME: Lofty SPECIES: genus Struthio (Ostrich)

Elegant you are not, Lofty. Impertinent, you certainly are. How many times do I need to tell you not to interfere with the visitors when they approach your enclosure? You ignore me and keep burying your head in the sand. Your behaviour is not funny; like when you ate the plastic flowers on that woman's hat. We had to compensate her by refunding her entrance ticket and paying for a new hat. That money should come out of your food allowance, if I had my way. But your worst behaviour is when you pecked the backside of that pretty young lady. She thought the man standing beside her did it. An argument ensued and we had to call the police. I warn you again; this behaviour is not funny. 

NAME: Various SPECIES: Blattodea (Cockroaches)

This report applies to the lot of you. Let's face it, you are boring. Boring, boring, boring; that's what I say. You sit there in your glass cage doing nothing. We have measured that on average people spend about 57 seconds looking at you and then move on. If we were not obliged to have an insects enclosure I would have you all wiped out. You are not as entertaining as the ants colony who busy themselves building nests and carrying food therein. Or like the stick insects who camouflage themselves like sticks and the public has fun trying to identify them. On average people spend at least 7 minutes watching them. Compare that to your measly existence you useless parasites. 

NAME: Ivor Rawbottom SPECIES: Humanus Idiot (Idiot)

Come in Ivor, sit down. I am very disappointed in you. This time your sense of humour has gone too far. What's the big idea of changing all the signs in the animals' enclosures on 1 April last?

You put a notice saying cobra in the giraffe's enclosure.The zebra was shown as a pelican. The tiger became an octopus. And the tortoise was marked common household fly. You caused havoc amongst a school outing and the children were asked to identify various creatures as an exam project. They all failed thanks to you.

Look Ivor, if you were not my father, and the owner of this zoo, I would have fired you by now.

The worst offence is when you took away my name and title from my office door and posted this photo instead.

Thank you for your Reviews

I would like to thank my many loyal and supportive readers for their encouragement and for their kind reviews of my books on AMAZON. Your reviews help others and hopefully someone somewhere may be encouraged to learn more about God as a result.

Here are some recent reviews.

CHRISTIAN REFLECTIONS

Already knowing author Victor from several previously purchased books, I certainly knew this would be GOOD. That has proven to be an understatement as this was so much more!
Victor manages to write so engaging, so transforming and he explains things so well—using the amiable Father Ignatius as main character. WISH there would be many more Father Ignatius figures in this world and plenty of writers for jotting it down for others to ENJOY and LEARN!

Too bad that I lacked the time and only found time during rainy days... Have begun the next one; More Reflections for the soul! Go ahead and order this excellent book and I bet, you won't be able to put it down...

Mariette Vedder
Mariette's Back to Basics

MAN AND GOD

Everything you ever wanted to know .... .... but were embarrassed to ask. :)
As ever, the author's narrative flows easily, and provides answers to 'those' niggling questions. Thank you!

Myra G

Christian Theories Explained. To be honest I expected a good novel. I have read some excellent novels by Moubarak. This one took me by surprise, the surprise was pleasant. Being a Protestant much of the Roman Catholic Church is a mystery to me. I actually loved the book. One comment said: The answers to questions you won't ask (paraphrased). That is a very good example. I was impressed at the professional way beliefs in heaven, hell, eternity were covered. Along with the Nicene (?) Creed. I most assuredly appreciated the book. I appreciated the explanations of Purgatory, not fully convinced but it was very well placed. You would not be disappointed with this read.

Kindle Customer

TIME FOR REFLECTIONS

Easy-to-read. Surprising in parts. Did you know some Catholics pray in tongues?

This is an easy-to-read book about the Christian faith from a Catholic perspective. As a non-denominational, evangelical Christian I expected to have some differences of opinion. What I found instead was similar opinions, some identical, and just a few differences. It's good. Easy to read. The author has a likeable, relatable "voice"-- I read it, not audio.

Howard and Sandi

TAKE CARE OF MY SHEEP

This book certainly fed me! If you haven't already met the lovable and caring Fr. Ignatius, here is your chance! Take Care of My Sheep is a collection of thoughtful and inspiring stories by author Victor S E Moubarak, stories that star Fr. Ignatius and the varied experiences he encounters that cry out for his Christian knowledge and gentle demeanor. When I'm feeling down, I pick this book up and immerse myself in one of the stories - they never grow old! ~Martha Orlando, author of A Trip, a Tryst and a Terror, Children in the Garden, The Moment of Truth, Revenge!, Redemption, and Revelation, all available on Amazon.

Martha J Orlando

THE PRIEST AND PROSTITUTE

A PRIEST??? This is a very well written 'Who Done It'. I thoroughly enjoyed the plot, and many original lines. The one I remember most was concerning a conversation in which the old saying "If someone yells in a vacuum can it be heard?" You have to appreciate the wit of the author and also the surprise ending. It is a very enjoyable read and I definitely would recommend the author. Yep, tis a fun read.

Jack Darnell

There are many other kind reviews from my readers. Some have reviewed several books of mine. Once again, I thank you all and may God bless you always.

AMAZON LINK