Tuesday, 6 March 2012

When priests get old.

Once upon a time there was an old priest who became rather forgetful and tired of giving sermons at Mass on Sunday.

He used to write down his sermons and then read them at Mass; but more often than not he used to forget bringing his sermons to church; so at sermon time he had nothing to read anyway.

He reasoned that if he had to write down his sermons in order to remember them, then how could the congregation be expected to remember them after leaving church.

With such impeccable logic he decided to do something about it.

One Sunday morning at Mass he announced: “I’m getting old and forgetful. I really can't be bothered anymore with writing sermons I instantly forget. So from now on there will be no more sermons at Mass!”

His congregation was very disappointed and some even complained to the Bishop.

The Bishop called the old priest in for an explanation. Somewhat pensively the old priest explained that he could no longer remember what to say in his sermons, and even though he prepared sermons in writing, he often forgot to bring his writing to church, which meant he had no sermon to deliver.

The Bishop sympathized with the elderly colleague and said: “Here's something you could try. Next time you have to give a sermon say in a loud voice ‘I have an announcement to make!’

“This will ensure you have everyone’s attention. They will hang on to your every word.

“Then say just as loudly ‘I have fallen in love with a woman’.

“Now this will certainly have them all listening very carefully and remembering your every word.

“And then calmly tell them about the Virgin Mary, and all the good she did for us. It will be easy. Just speak from the heart of your love for Our Lady”.

The old priest was overjoyed and the following Sunday he stood proudly at the lectern and said loudly:

“I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE!”

And sure enough everyone sat up in their pews to listen very carefully. The old priest then continued just as loudly:

“THE BISHOP HAS FALLEN IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN …”

As the congregation stirred in their seats the old priest went on:

“I can’t for the life of me remember her name …”

8 comments:

  1. Victor,

    I was all set for a Virgin Mary story. You surprised me with the ending. And made me smile!

    Do you have any Mary stories on your blog?

    God bless!

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  2. This had me busting up laughing, awesome story!

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  3. I should have seen that one coming Victor!!! That was a good one...

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  4. Greetings Sue, Sarah, Dance and Daily Grace.

    How nice it is to see you here smiling at this story. I'm so glad you liked it.

    Yes Sue ... a Mary story will be published here tomorrow.

    God bless you all and thanx for visiting.

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  5. After I read this & laughed quite a bit, my hubby & oldest son wondered what was so funny. So, I read it out loud to them & they also enjoyed it. Thanks for making us laugh!

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  6. You're so unpredictable and hilarious, thanks for all the smiles : )
    God bless you!
    Doreen

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  7. Hi there Munchesmom and Doreen,

    It's great to laugh isn't it? I'm so pleased you liked this story. Thank you for telling me about it.

    May God bless you and yours.

    ReplyDelete

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God bless you.

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