Odours and Bad Smells

Dear Friends and Readers Old and New,

I need your help with a little Marketing Research Project which I am engaged with.

Since the dawn of time, and before that even, humanity has been plagued with odours and bad smells. Be they body odours, eating and cooking garlic, frying fish, keeping pets such as dogs in the house, or indeed certain odours resulting from eating too many baked beans. You get the idea.

We've always had bad smells in our vicinity and we've tried to mask them in one way or another. Either by spraying ourselves with perfume and after-shave and other lotions, or spraying our homes with various chemicals, pots-pourri and other plug-ins type of devices to hide the smells which we do not want others to breathe in.

I may have mentioned in the past that I have a good friend who is a bit of a genius at inventing things. If I haven't done so; then let me mention it now.

Well, this friend of mine ... (I'm sure you understand what it means when someone starts a conversation with "a friend of mine").

As I was saying before I interrupted myself. This friend of mine has invented a new way of dealing with odours and bad smells and has asked me to test out opinions amongst my readers and other friends of mine in my wide and varied circle of friends.

Instead of spraying chemicals everywhere to hide bad smells my friend has invented a false moustache inpregnated with good smells like lavender, rose petals, eau de cologne, and so on.

The wearer of the moustache will no longer be afflicted with bad smells emanating from either himself or others in his surroundings. Every breath taken in will be freshened by the sweet smell of lilies of the valley, or fields of lavender or whatever choice the wearer of the moustache prefers.

My friend has also developed a range of culinary smells for those who prefer something different like freshly baked bread, vanilla, cinnamon, citrus fruits, or even roast beef.

What I need to know from my readers is whether you would be interested in buying such a product and which nice smells would you suggest we inpregnate the moustaches with.

The inventor of the product assures me that the moustaches look very realistic and authentic and come in various shades of colour to match the wearer's colour of hair. The moustaches are made of an artificial non-flammable fibre so there's no danger that they would light up suddenly if the wearer smokes a cigarette or cigar. They also come in various styles and length to provide the user with a wide choice of styles.

I would like to learn in particular ... ehm ... my friend the inventor would also like to know in particular whether ladies would be amenable to wearing such a device under their nose to protect them from any bad odours which may offend their olfactory senses.

It is believed that with time, and the backing of famous female celebrities in a planned advertising campaign, this new invention would prove a fashionable and desirable accessory for men and women alike.

So ladies, would you wear a stylish moustache to protect you from offending smells? Your views would be greatly appreciated in the comments box below.