Monday, 10 October 2016

On Reflection - I confess


Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

It's been quite a while since my last confession ... I don't know how long ... I don't keep a diary of my Confessions. Let's say it was about six months or so since I confessed last.

Father ... is forgetting a sin? You know ... I half forgot deliberately. Partly I forgot but I was glad I forgot.

Let me explain. My mother-in-law phoned the other day and invited us to a concert at the old peoples' home where she was going to sing. And I almost deliberately forgot to tell my wife. Yes OK ... it was deliberate.

The thing is Father, I am sure you never heard my mother-in-law sing. She sounds like a constipated coyote. When she howls all of nature takes fright and cowers into submission.

I am not being un-charitable Father. In fact I was being charitable to my ear-drums.

Well ... yes of course my wife was very upset at my deliberate forgotteness. But as it happens there was another concert the day after and we had to go.

I put some cotton wool in my ears whilst mom-in-law sang ... I hope this is not also a sin? She then played the violin ... very badly I might add. It sounded as if that coyote was really in agony. She played the violin whilst walking up and down the stage. She said later that the piece of music she played was written for the bagpipes.

I also want to confess another sin, Father. Whilst the football game was on TV I took the batteries off the remote control so no one could change the channel to Downton Abbey. I told them the remote was broken.

Well, it was not such a selfish thing to do, Father because I was sparing them the agony of a whole hour of Downton Abbey. I mean ... have you seen that program? You have? And you like it? Oh boy ... I hope this will not affect my penance Father?

Yes ... I have one more sin to confess. It's the sin of vanity. No not me ... my neighbour. He is so vain and proud of his fish in his pond in his front garden. That's two sins Father, vanity and pride.

Yes I know I should be confessing my sins, not that of others. Well, to play a trick on my neighbour I kept buying other similar fishes from the pet shop and at night I put them in his pond. He got totally confused that his fishes were breeding so fast. I told him maybe they are Catholic. He was not amused, him being Church of England.

I know it's not funny Father ... well, it was at the time. No ... I have nothing more I can remember to confess. No ... I am not deliberately forgetting other sins ...

My penance ... what? A whole Rosary? That's too much Father. Can I share it with other people since it is they who led me to sin? I can't? Oh Father !!!

OK ... OK ... I'm going ... you don't need to add another penance for arguing with you.

13 comments:

  1. And THUS you have the attitude of all mankind since the Garden of Eden, "HE MADE ME DO IT!"
    Blessings, Victor!

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    Replies
    1. That's true, Lulu. THEY made me do it. My mom-in-law's bad singing and playing the violin, my family for liking Downton Abbey, my neighbour for having fish in his pond, and even the priest for not being more understanding.

      I'm glad at least you understand me. God bless you.

      Delete
  2. I just KNEW you were a secret Downton Abbey fan ...

    ;-}

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    Replies
    1. Moi? Downton Abbey? Never !!!

      God bless you Linda.

      Delete
  3. Occasionally, our old pastor would give direction on how to make a good and proper confession...and he would add, "and don't confess your spouses sins!"

    :o)

    God bless.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Good one, Hand-Maid. It's so nice to see you visiting me again. Thank you. I hope you and your family are well.

      God bless you all.

      Delete
  4. Oh, my, Victor! That mother-in-law of yours must be quite the character. One thing she does is to keep you humble, right? LOL! Have a wonderful day, my friend. :)

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    1. Humble? Her loud voice makes any ears on the land humble.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. Hi Victor! I'm sure you entertained the priest for the afternoon! Imagine the penitent stories he has heard :)
    I have never seen Downton Abbey, although my father loved it so much. It was an event when it was on the TV.
    I'd say you did well with the cotton in the ears. (Maybe there's a booth in your future, selling cotton to concert goers?)
    Blessings,
    Ceil

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    Replies
    1. It's so nice to see you visiting me again, Ceil. I'll admit to never having seen a whole program of Downton Abbey; although the scenery and period costumes are excellent.

      I often wonder what stories priests hear in Confessions.

      God bless you and yours, Ceil.

      Delete
  6. A constipated coyote? LOL, I'm willing to bet you've never run into a constipated coyote. You also reminded me. I haven't been to confession since Lent, which must be about eight months. I need to find the time to go.

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    1. Better a constipated coyote than one with the runs !!!

      Last Easter I gave up confession for Lent. What's the point of going to confession if one does not sin. I can't remember the last time I sinned.

      God bless you and yours, Manny.

      Delete

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