This article may well make you want to scratch your mind, but please stick with it, be patient and read on. You may well wonder, just like me, and ask yourself the same questions I am asking.
Also I would appreciate your contribution to this article, as I'll explain later.
There I was the other day nursing a pint of Guinness when I started thinking about the universe. The universe is a word used to describe the whole of space which includes all of the planets, moons, stars, galaxies and the whole of everything that exists everywhere - including the dust behind the cupboard which you have not vacuum cleaned for a while; that is in the universe too!
So basically, the universe includes everything. Its size is still unknown because scientists do not have a measuring tape long enough to measure the size of the whole universe. But they do tell us that the universe is still expanding. In fact some theorists say that it is expanding at the speed of light.
Now then, we do know that light travels very fast. Certainly faster than any athlete at the Olympics and if it took part at the Games it would win all the gold medals. So the universe is expanding faster than an athlete could run as we speak right now.
What I don't understand is: Where is it expanding to? (Or into).
If the universe is everything, all the planets and so on, how is everything expanding into a bigger everything?
Let's imagine the universe is a big square box with six sides, like a dice, (what is the singular of dice?)
Anyway, if the universe is a square box getting ever bigger, where is this box in the first place? Is it hanging into space? If so, why is this space not itself in the universe if we have agreed that the universe is everything?
And does this box or universe contain the sun? Of course it does.
Now we know that the sun is an ever burning ball of fire that burns 24/7 for years and years ever since it was first lit by a discarded cigarette thrown by a careless smoker.
We also know that to have a fire we need oxygen and something to burn - wood, paper, fuel etc ...
We also know that out there, far away in outer space, there is no oxygen. That is why spacemen use space suits, and get really sick when they break wind therein. But that's another story.
So if there is no oxygen, how is the sun actually burning? And what is it actually burning? Where is it getting its constant supply of fuel?
Are you confused by all this? You should be. And I haven't even mentioned black holes, gravitational pull, and all the other mind-boggling things included in the universe.
And this is where your contribution comes in. I hope you will indulge me and take part in this important scientific experiment.
I am asking you please to direct your friends to this Blog so they can be confused too. Why should I be the only one wondering about these universal matters?
Write about it on your Blogs. Link to my Blog. And let us all get confused together.
Because this Blog is the only one in the universe, and we know how big that is, which confuses what should be as clear as anything.
You don't expect to go to a railway station, and ask the man in the ticket office what time a certain train is leaving for somewhere, only to be given the recipe for rice pudding? Would you?
The chances are that the man will tell you the departure time, even though the train may not leave on time.
But here on this Blog we are different. We guarantee that whatever you ask we will attempt to confuse you and give you the wrong information. Just try it. Ask any question and see.
No other Blog does that. Leave a comment below asking anything that's been on your mind all your life but were too embarrassed to ask.
And don't forget to tell all your friends throughout the universe to visit here and ask their questions too.
Now let me get back to my pint of Guinness. Who has drank it all whilst I was typing this? Has anyone seen my Guinness?