Strange World

 

We live in a strange world. You never know what is going to happen next. Lots of things are happening around me that I cannot understand.

For example, I've just bought myself a new brand of aftershave. It said on the label that it smells of breadcrumbs. I was suspicious, but I admit that the birds love it.

Who would have thought it! Whatever next? Bubble bath soap that smells of sweat? Or garlic? 

And another thing. There was a knock at the door. When I opened it there was a man standing there dressed like the Grim Reaper. I fought him off with my vacuum cleaner. Talk about Dyson with death.

A friend of mine is totally confused about police advice. His wife has been missing for over a week now. The police have told him to prepare for the worst. So he went to the charity shop and bought all her old clothes back.

Anyway, there I was yesterday driving in heavy traffic. But first I called at the Mall to buy a new pair of shoes. In the car park I found my friend Fred lying on the ground. "Are you all right?" I asked, "Have you fainted?"

"No," he replied, "I found a free parking space and I sent my wife home to fetch the car!"

After I finished shopping I rejoined the heavy traffic. It was all start and stop, start and stop. I was going to the supermarket about a couple of miles away.

I noticed in the rear view mirror this couple in the car behind me. They too were following me in the start and stop routine. The man seemed to be singing to some music from the car radio. The woman did not seem too happy. I could see in the mirror they were arguing.

Suddenly, as we stopped again at a traffic light for road works, I could see the woman get out of the car and walk forwards towards me. She opened the passenger door and got in and sat beside me. I was bewildered and beside myself at what had just happened. That made three of us side by side. Her, me and me beside myself.

"Are you going to the supermarket?" she asked, "I have seen you there many times!"

"Yes ... yes ..." I mumbled.

"Good, can I ride with you?" she asked, "my husband is playing Country music on the radio. I hate Country music. I like Barry Manilow instead. Can we play Barry Manilow on your radio as we drive?"

"Eh ... actually ..." I mumbled still bewildered and beside myself, "I don't like Manilow so much. Country music can be good though!"

"In that case I suggest you go sit with my husband and I'll drive your car to the supermarket!" she said without hesitation.

She was masterful. Without hesitation, me and the one beside myself got out of my car and took a ride to the supermarket with her husband.