Are you old?

 

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Are you old? An ancient fossil from a long gone age? Surely not. Age is just a number and a state of mind. In reality we are all young at heart if we want to be.

Here are some definitions of "OLD". I bet they don't apply to you.

OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do both!’

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re barefoot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN….
You don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go along.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN
‘Getting a little action’ means you don’t need to take a laxative today.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN….
‘Getting lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
An ‘all nighter’ means not getting up to use the bathroom.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN….
You’re not sure if these are facts or jokes.

Courtesy of Inspire21

Anyway ... there are some advantages to being "OLD"

No one expects you to run – anywhere.

People call at 9 pm and ask, “did I wake you?”

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

You can eat supper at 4 pm.

You can live without sex but not your glasses.

You get into heated arguments about pension plans.

You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.

You sing along with elevator music.

Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.

Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

You can wear your trousers all the way up to your nipples and hold them there with a belt and braces and everyone thinks you're stylish. A sex symbol for the woman who doesn't care.

And remember… Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Seriously though: be thankful whatever age you are and trust in God to see you through every day onto eternity.