NEWSPAPER ADS
LOST - Small dog. Answers to, "Come boy ... here boy ..."
FOR SALE - Old bed 200 years old. Suitable for an antique lover, or similar age.
WANTED - Strippers. Experience of stripping machines an advantage.
EAR PIERCING AND TATTOOS - Ear piercing and tattoos while you wait. Any shape, any size, any where.
FOR SALE - Antique bedside table. Suitable for a lady. With thick legs and large drawers.
JOB OPPORTUNITY - Sewing-machine mechanic to work in ladies' underwear.
SAINT VINCENT CHURCH - Don't let worry kill you. Let us help.
JOB OFFER - Wanted hair-cutter. Good growth potential.
WANTED - Someone to chew hay for a horse with bad teeth.
CINEMA POSTERS - And now, a wonderful movie about big colourful birds. From the makers of the Oscar winning film One Can ... we bring you the sequel ... Toucan!
This is a spectacular movie full of adventure. From the makers of Tim Buck 1 ... we are proud to present Tim Buck 2
Another great film success about colourful parrots. From the makers of Cock A One ... Cock A Two!
You'll love this film about the life and times of baby peas. From the makers of Mange One we present ... Mange Two.
And from the makers of Catch 21 we now present ... (you can guess, I'm sure).
WORDS OF WISDOM
If you walk for ever you will never stop.
A man swimming in the sea is wet.
If you walk a mile in someone's shoes you'll be accused of stealing them.
It does not matter if your glass is half full or half empty as long as it does not leave a stain on the table.
To avoid a stain on the table place a coaster on your bottom.
Marriages are made in Heaven. Also thunder and lightning.
Is it ignorance or apathy that are destroying the world? I don't know and I don't care.
As one door shuts another one opens outwards and hits you in the face.
