I am a Motivational Speaker

MOTIVATIONAL ADDRESS

GIVEN BY

VICTOR S E MOUBARAK 

The most important thing in life is to focus. Focus on who you are. What you are. And whatever else you want to be or do in life. 

Like the eagle who soars in the skies and can focus on his prey down below; you too should do the same. Focus on the pigeons, rabbits, snakes, rats and others below and reach for the skies. 

But before considering on being an eagle, think like an eagle. 

Ask yourself, do you like eating pigeons, rabbits, snakes and other vermin below? If not, you need to change your attitude.

Yes, we all need to change if we are to go ahead. We can start with our vests and underpants. 

When is the last time you changed yours? Be honest now. Honesty is the best policy. 

Success in life can lead to success in love. Remember our motto:  

Say it with flowers
And chocolates too
Say it with jewellery
Or a good meal for two
Say it from the heart
Say what you think
But never be careless
And say it with ink

The next thing to consider is looking back. Never ever look back when you're moving forwards in life. 

I learnt this lesson the hard way when I walked into a lamp post, fell down the stairs, and on one occasion met the mother-in-law down a dark alley at night. 

Beware of perseverance. This means a persistent attitude to doing something despite setbacks and apparent failures. My advice is, if at first you don't succeed suck something else instead. 

In other words - If at first you don't succeed just give up. It is no point spending precious time and money doing something that will most probably not work anyway. Have the foresight of realising your failings and get on with doing something else instead. 

When I was at school I had failure written all over me. The other kids did it with their ball point pens. My teachers however said that I'd go down in history ... and geography, maths, science and practically everything else.

Did it worry me? No ... I forged on ahead and fulfilled their vision of me and became who I am. 

And in doing so I saved a lot of time and money trying something I'd fail at anyway. 

Know your failings and your potential. 

It is no point cooking a lobster thermidor if you don't have any thermidors in the house. 

In life, be like a sardine. Get into your tin and leave the key outside. Sooner or later someone will open up and let you out. Metaphorically speaking that is. 

Do as little as possible in life. Make it obvious that you are not doing so well. Pretty soon some kind soul will have pity on you and help you anyway. Either that, or marry Rich!

P.S.

Look what I have found in the garage

My own 

Coats of Arms

painted some ten years ago.

 

New Pastime and Hobby

 

I've just got a new hobby in my spare time. I am learning to be an animal motivational speaker and to teach them to meditate. My uncle loved animals too. His ambition was to be a lion whisperer. A wish he achieved moments before his untimely sudden death in a lion cage. Must have been something he whispered.

I started with something much smaller. At evening class at college they introduced me to a small dog.

I sat him on a table and approached him slowly soothingly whispering sweet things to calm him down. A bit like many priests do at Sunday sermons. They don't preach much needed warnings any more, do they?

Anyway, as I came near him, he suddenly snapped and bit my nose. Just as well he was not a lion. The pet instructor, (he instructs people not pets), cleaned the wound and put a plaster on my nose. This made things worse because the dog now growled every time I approached him. The instructor said my nose distracted him ... the dog, not the instructor.

Trying to teach animals to meditate proved more of a challenge. Have you ever tried getting cats to sit in a row and pay attention? They move and run all over the place. The idea is to have the animals relax and listen to your soft voice using words with smooth syllabus over and over again. Like honey ... honey ... honey ... or such like. There was no way those kittens would sit still, never mind listening to my soothing growls. 

Although I'll admit I had success with a tortoise. She just closed her eyes and meditated all winter.

Another task was teaching an agoraphobic tortoise self-confidence. This tortoise had an irrational fear of leaving its shell. It just stayed in there and would not come out. Even to eat or meet friends. It did not have any visitors because it was too crowded in her shell for anyone else. I crouched down to its level and encouraged her by waving a piece of lettuce at its opening. The instructor told me that was her tail. So I turned her round and tried again ... no success. I had a pain in the back leaning all the way down there on the floor. So the instructor suggested I put the tortoise on the table. No success either. The tortoise was also afraid of heights. Have you ever heard anything like it? Agoraphobic and afraid of heights.

To encourage her to overcome both problems I balanced her on my shoulder like a pirate would a parrot. She fell and was caught by the instructor before she crashed to the ground. Funny that, because it nearly worked with a parrot I was teaching to fly.

He bit my ear before flying off never to be seen again. The instructor put another piece of plaster on that as well.

I eventually gave up on all this teaching animals to meditate and unlock their hidden potential. All this motivational talk is nonsense and does not work in business corporations so why should it work with animals? Let people and animals be what they are and not try to change them and shape them to what you would want them to be. That's what I always say.

Anyway, I have now started another course at learning politics. My dog comes with me and is already showing progress.

NOTE: For entertainment purposes only. No animals have been harmed in the writing of this article. Only me! I got the plasters to prove it.

VICTOR - Motivational Speaker

 

Hello folks and welcome to "Make Me A New Person" the most popular session in our motivational talks for enlightened and visionary people who want to start afresh in life and rise to bigger and better things.

The most important thing in life is to focus. Focus on who you are. What you are. And whatever else you want to be or do in life. Like the eagle who soars in the skies and can focus on his prey down below; you too should and could do the same. If only you could fly, and you liked eating pigeons, rabbits, snakes, rats and other vermin. 

So before you focus on being an eagle, think like an eagle. Ask yourself, do you like ratatouille? Or pigeon pie? And would you eat a dead rabbit covered in maggots? If not, then you need to change.

Yes my friends, we all need to change if we are to go ahead. We can start with our vests and underpants. When is the last time you changed yours? Be honest now. Remember, honesty is the best policy; but not when confiding in your spouse or girl-friend. Remember our motto:  

Say it with flowers
And chocolates too
Say it with jewellery
Or a good meal for two
Say it from the heart
Say what you think
But never be careless
And say it with ink

Right, we covered focussing, and changing who we are, and honesty. This is good stuff folks. It's what made me who I am today.

The next thing to consider is looking back. Never ever look back when you're moving forwards in life. I learnt this lesson the hard way when I walked into a lamp post, fell down the stairs, and on one occasion met the mother-in-law down a dark alley at night. 

Another thing to remember in life is perseverance. This means a persistent attitude to doing something despite setbacks and apparent failures. Well, my advice is, if at first you don't succeed suck something else instead. Sorry ... that was from another lecture I gave on throat lozenges.

Here's the right quote. If at first you don't succeed just give up. It is no point spending precious time and money doing something that will most probably not work anyway. Have the foresight of realising your failings and get on with doing something else instead. 

Look at me ... when I was at school I had failure written all over me. The other kids did it with their ball point pens. My teachers however said that I'd go down in history ... and geography, maths, science and practically everything else.

Did it worry me? No ... I forged on ahead and fulfilled their vision of me and became who I am. And in doing so I saved a lot of time and money trying something I'd fail at anyway. 

So, the lesson from this is - know your failures. It is no point cooking a lobster thermidor if you don't have any thermidors in the house. Just open a tin of sardines instead.

On which point, be like a sardine. Get yourself into your tin and leave the key outside. Sooner or later someone will open up and let you out.

Metaphorically speaking that is. What I mean is, do as little as possible in life. Make it obvious that you are not doing so well. Pretty soon some kind soul will have pity on you and help you anyway.

Either that, or marry Rich!