Christmas Gifts

If we are honest, we would all admit that at one time or another we have re-cycled Christmas and other gifts given to us which we do not want. We take away the wrapping paper, put on a new one and give the gift to a relative or friend who would appreciate them more than us.

I know that I have done so in the past. The odd video DVD, or book which I do not want or like, or indeed the bottle of drink which I will not use. They have all found their way to someone else and saved me having to buy them presents.

I doubt though that anyone has ever had reason to sell unwanted presents. I never did ... until now.

I say until now because I have received two Christmas presents which quite honestly I cannot bring myself to re-cycle by giving them to anyone else. I know no one will appreciate them.

So the next best thing is to sell them.

And this is where you come in. Do you perchance wish to buy either of these items and how much would you be willing to pay?

The first item is ...

... an anchor.

It arrived a few days ago, delivered by two postmen who had great difficulty getting it out of the van and to our front door. It was already wrapped in Christmas paper and at first I thought it was a crossbow. But it seemed too big and very heavy to be such. So heavy that the postmen had to drag it along the road rather than lift it.

When we took the wrapping off we discovered, to our dismay, what it actually was. It's a Christmas gift from an eccentric uncle. The note read that he changed the anchor in his yacht and he wondered whether we would like this one as an ornament in our front garden. 

We live some million miles from any sea ... so an anchor as an ornament outside the house would be appropriate, don't you think?  

Do you want to buy it? Offers in the comments box please.

The second item I have for sale is also an un-wanted gift which arrived the day after the anchor was delivered.

It is ...

... a crane.

Yes ... a crane. I got out of the house Saturday morning and there it was. Fully erected and standing proud in our front garden.

Who ever put it there must have worked fast during the night to put it up together like a Mecano set. The neighbours said they saw three big lorries parked outside with a lot of iron bits and pieces and in about a couple of hours the people put up the crane in our garden. The neighbours thought we were perhaps building an apartment above our house; or maybe putting up a statue of myself.

With the crane was a note in an envelope from a lunatic aunt of ours, (not on my side of the family). The note said, "I saw this on the Internet and thought of you!"

What sort of demented person would see a picture of a crane on the Internet and think of buying it for me? What is the connection between a huge yellow crane and me? I don't even like the colour yellow.

I phoned her and ever so politely asked her if she lost her marbles. Whether perhaps she was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Whether her little grey cells had perhaps committed suicide.

She said she saw the small photo on the Internet, (like the one above), and thought it was a toy. So she bought it for me. She had received the invoice for a ludicrous sum of money which she thought was too much for a toy and she took the matter up with her solicitor.

So, in case the suppliers don't take the crane back, do you want to buy it? You'll have to collect it yourself.