Monday, 16 March 2020

Ignorant I Am

I don't like ballet. I don't like opera either. If I can help it I avoid both.

You may say I am ignorant.
But I'm not the only one.
I hope some day you'll join us. 
And we will all fight plagiarism ... something else I don't like.

But in my ignorance, there's something else I don't understand.

Usually, when you have an orchestra in a theatre, or outdoors even with a band, there's a man up front with a little stick waving his hands about like a demented puppet with his strings gone awry.

What does he actually do?

I've examined him closely and he doesn't seem to be doing anything important. He is sometimes called a conductor, or a maestro, but the people in front of him playing their different musical instruments appear to be ignoring him and reading the notes on the piece of paper in front of them. Even the man at the back with a little triangular piece of metal seems intent on concentrating on his sheet of paper and at the right moment he makes it ding just the once. No one seems to care about the man with the little stick up front.

To test the theory I got the toilet plunger and took off the rubber suction bit at the top. I then played some of my CDs and waved my hands in the air with the plunger stick in hand. The music from the CD played OK and did not seem to match my hand waving one little bit.

I made a video of it. See what you think.

26 comments:

  1. You did quite well Victor, I suspect you should start your own orchestra.

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  2. I often do at home, Ryan. I play various CDs and wave the toilet plunger about.

    God bless.

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  3. "..... like a demented puppet with his strings gone awry." I'm snickering and nodding my head like one of those bobble-head dolls. Suppose the maestro ever throws that stick at anyone who dares to make a clunker?

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    1. If you watch carefully, Mevely, the musicians are looking at their music sheets; not the conductor.

      God bless.

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  4. He reminds me of a matador gone crazy. :)

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    1. Yes, you're right; he does look like a matador. Took me ages to make that short video.

      God bless, Bill.

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  5. You're a regular "leader of the band," Victor! But maybe a dry spaghetti noodle would be a better baton than a plunger - just sayin'. :)
    Blessings!

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    1. I never thought of that, Martha. The plunger was the first thing that came to mind.

      God bless you and yours.

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  6. I must admit that you are multi-talented but you need to work on your finesse a bit and maybe borrow one of the drummers drumsticks as a baton. Of course you could use a turkey drumstick and have lunch at the same time.
    Thank you for the laughs today...I needed this 😉

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    1. Oh ... I wish I had a KFC chicken leg ... or two! Can a conductor have two batons?

      God bless you, Jan.

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  7. Ok, in the thumbnail that looked like a beautiful red flower with a brown stem. 😳

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    1. It does look like a flower, doesn't it? I wondered how many readers would guess it was a plunger.

      God bless, Sandi.

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  8. Nice try anyway! :)
    I'm not a fan of the ballet or opera either.

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    1. I never understood ballet or opera. Why do they stand on tip-toes? Why not hire taller dancers?

      God bless, Happyone.

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  9. Once again, Victor, you have brighten a rainy, gloomy day outside. I not a fan of opera or ballet, but I must confess I did enjoy the movie Phantom of the Opera. I have been known to use a hand mirror for a microphone in my desire to sing...but never had a desire to lead an orchestra with a plunger!!! Perhaps the next time I'm bored, I'll give it a try.

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    1. I have often wondered in Phantom of the Opera why does no one ever say "Boooh!!!" and frighten everyone. That would be fun.

      Keep smiling and singing, Wanda. God bless.

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  10. I think you should audition for the NY Philharmonic, Victor! Tell them Diane sent you.

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    1. I certainly will do, Diane. I hope I can take my CDs with me.

      God bless.

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  11. I prefer ballet to opera :)

    All the best Jan

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    1. It must be very difficult dancing on tip-toes.

      God bless, Jan.

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  12. I think you have found a new career. Go for it.

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    1. I will, Susan. I'll have to buy another plunger because the one I used is needed in the house.

      God bless.

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  13. Sometimes i wonder about those conductors, they seem to get grumbly when they are ignored.

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    1. Yes, that's true, Mimi. They insist on the musicians following their instructions.

      God bless.

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  14. Hahaha! A demented puppet.... I had a band director in school that would get so mad and angry that he would spit and sometimes it landed on his lip and sometimes fling out to the students...Yes, a demented puppet! lol Really funny entry! Plagerism part was hilarious!

    Blessings!

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    1. When I watch orchestras on TV I never see any of the musicians paying attention to the conductor, or band leader. Even in church; the choir leader stands up front waving her hands in the air and we all ignore her.

      God bless, Amelia.

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