Oh ... it's you again.
Yes Father, it is Alphonse ... I normally sit right at the front pew.
I know ...
It's been a week since my last confession.
I recall it well. I suggested then that you seek medical attention. Your doctor perhaps, or even a psychiatrist.
Yes that's right ... I wrote it here in my notebook. Do you want to see it?
No ... ... ... so, what did you do? Have you been to see the doctor?
Not really ...
What do you mean not really? You either did see a doctor, or better still a psychiatrist or you didn't.
I didn't!
Why not?
Well, I thought I'd go on the Jerry Springer Show instead.
What? Whatever for?
Well ... he might be interested in my condition ... he is good at this sort of thing ... he has people on his show with various problems and he is good at talking to them. And he always ends the show with some good words! He says 'Take care of yourselves and each other!' You never say that in confession. Have you seen his show? The audience often sing ... Jerry ... Jerry ...
Is he a doctor?
No.
A psychiatrist?
No.
What does your wife think of this?
About my problem or about me wanting to go on the Jerry Springer Show to talk about it?
Well ... both!
She is worried about my problem but excited about going on the Jerry Springer Show. She has bought a new dress to wear if we go on the show. New shoes too!
Look my son, my job here, which is badly paid I might add, is to hear your sins, dish out some advice, and absolve you if you really repent. Technically, you are not committing a sin as such. Although you are getting pretty close to it, if I remember well what I was taught in seminary. But I honestly think you should seek medical attention.
Do you want a ticket to the Jerry Springer Show, if I get on it that is?
No I don't ... thank you. I shall pray for you ... and your wife!
Bye Father ... ... ...Isn't life exciting?
Hahaha, I can't imagine any priest saying that but I bet certain penitents gt on priests nerves.
ReplyDeleteSome of the things the people tell the priest are not about sins at all.
DeleteGod bless, Manny.
...I know little of nothing about the Jerry Springer Show, am I missing something?
ReplyDeleteThe Jerry Springer Show is an American TV program talk show. The show has guests who tell their stories in life. It is filled with controversial topics, (such as incest and adultery), profanity, physical fights between guests and scantily clad guests. It is very popular with television viewers.
DeleteSpringer often introduced guests from the same family, (or friends), who had fallen out with each other and aired their grievances in public; often swearing at each other and fighting. The audience applauded and sang "Jerry ... Jerry ..."
Personally, I like my family very much. If it was not for them I would be arguing with perfect strangers.
God bless, Tom.
Enjoyed your post Victor but I am NOT a fan of Jerry Springer.
ReplyDeleteThere can only be one God and mine lives in heaven.
God Bless Victor ✝
Jerry's show was popular in the US and UK.
DeleteGod bless, Jan.
Does "Jerry Springer" still have a show?
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Victor!
Last series ended in 2018, Lulu. Very odd guests and situations on that show.
DeleteWe had a similar show in the UK with Jeremy Kyle which ended in 2019. The show was based on confrontations in which guests attempt to resolve issues with others that are significant in their lives, with such issues often related to family relationships, romantic relationships, sex, drugs and alcohol, among other issues. The show was controversial for placing guests in confrontational scenes.
God bless.
Maybe Dr. Phil. . .or not! Very funny! Have a grand weekend!
ReplyDeleteThe problems we bring to confession.
DeleteGod bless, Cathy.
I never watched Jerry's show but heard of him. I heard he liked to cause controversy for his ratings. I don't know how true that is.
ReplyDeleteThe show was controversial, and very successful. Often guests fought with each other and were separated by strongmen.
DeleteGod bless, bill.
I don't think Jerry Springer could ever be a cure for anything! That is one poor, mixed up soul who thinks appearing on that show would fix all that's wrong with him.
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Victor!
I agree, Martha. That's what I was implying in my article about confession. Controversy and public arguments would not settle a dispute.
DeleteGod bless you.
Jerry Springer ~ bottom of the garbage can!!!
ReplyDeleteI agree it did not solve peoples' problems, Wanda.
DeleteGod bless.
Perchance Alphonse just dropped in to see what condition his condition was in.
ReplyDeleteThat's exactly it, Mevely. People go to the priest with their problems rather than their sins. Good priests I have known spent a lot of time helping such people. Hence my Fr Ignatius stories.
DeleteGod bless always my friend.
Dearest Victor,
ReplyDeleteSure, any Priest will be bothered a lot with such 'personal' insecurities. But any TV show for that matter, where morals are not valued, is stupid. But yeah, that's what a lot of people that completely lost their moral compass 'love' or PRETEND to love!
Never have we wasted a minute on such shows. Better go do some deep cleaning or iron or whatever...
Hugs,
Mariette
That's true, Mariette; priests I have known have helped their parishioners with their problems and difficulties. Better than going on a TV show to air one's problems.
DeleteGod bless.
Absolutely!
DeleteHow does that show still manage? With all the other reality shows, it should be obsolete.
ReplyDeleteWhat the Father must hear during a session must be unbelievable.
The Jerry Springer show ended in 2018 and the Jeremy Kyle show ended in 2019.
DeleteAs for the priest(s). They still hear weird stories in the confessional.
God bless, Susan.
She'd best watch out if she's going to wear that dress on Springer's show, it's likely to get ruined in one of the fights.
ReplyDeleteIt's Maury Povich now, i think, and all of the episodes are about people cheating on each other, or disputing paternity.
Anyway, all of these shows make me want to cry and pray for the people on them, that they don't know better than to behave this way.
The Maury Povich show is not yet shown in the UK. I don't understand why people go on these shows to air their differences.
DeleteGod bless, Mimi.