Le restaurant cordial

 

This happened some years ago when we were young and life was different and we had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun; but the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time.

 

I do so hate plagiarism. I hope one day no one in the world will ever resort to plagiarism. You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one. I hope some day you'll join us and the world will be as one. No plagiarism. 

 

Anyway, as I was saying, this happened some years ago. A couple of friends and I were visiting Yorkshire and travelling from town to city touring round and staying in hotels. One evening we decided to go to a well-to-do restaurant. We had to book first and also wear ties. You know the kind of restaurant I mean.

 

As it were, it was a restaurant attached to a pub with mostly local clientèle. We were the odd ones out and people looked at us as we got in. So we decided to play a ruse. (My idea). 

 

One of my friends was/still is Italian. So I suggested he only speaks in Italian. From now on - no English. I decided to speak only in French and called myself Pierre Cornichon, and suggested that the other friend would be our translator.

 

The waiter came with the menus. My Italian friend and I pretended not to understand and our "English" friend translated.

 

I said, "Je voudrais une bierre blonde s'il vous plait!"

 

The waiter whispered to my English friend, "he is asking about the blonde waitress? these French have a reputation, Sir!"

 

Eventually we managed to order a meal which took some time with each one speaking their "native" language and our friend translating in English.

 

When the meal arrived, the owner of the pub brought three little flags, a Union Jack, a French and an Italian flag which he placed at the centre of the table saying, "We are all friends in the European Union now!"

 

"Qu'est ce qu'il dit?" I asked and my English friend translated.

 

We got excellent service throughout the meal with the owner offering us an aperitif to start with at his cost. 

 

At the end of the meal, after a few beers, the devil got me to start singing, "Non, rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien. Ni le bien qu'on m'a fait. Ni le mal. Tout ça m'est bien égal. Non, rien de rien. Non, je ne regrette rien."

 

Not to be outdone, my Italian friend got up and started singing, "O Sole Mio" and "Vincerooooo!"

 

I thought we'd be thrown out. But some of the locals joined in and soon we were all singing, "Knees up Mother Brown. Knees up Mother Brown. Under the table you must go. Ee-aye, Ee-aye, Ee-aye-oh!"

 

Have you ever sung Knees up Mother Brown in a French accent? Or an Italian one? They gave us the lyrics to sing from.