Calling all idiots

 

I have come to the conclusion that the world is full of idiots. I also believe that God loves idiots seeing He has created so many of them.

Let me explain. I'm sure, like me, you often see examples of prize idiots in your daily life. People who would do, say or think something that only an idiot would do, say or think.

Here are a few examples.

I was looking on-line for stainless steel oven trays, or roasting dish, as they are sometimes called. I searched various websites and providers and there was a plethora of choices. Almost every one, in the description of the item, warned: USE OVEN GLOVES WHEN REMOVING ITEM FROM OVEN AS IT WILL BE HOT

What idiot, I wonder, needs telling that? One description had a picture of two hands in oven gloves holding the dish; in case you used plastic washing gloves, or boxing gloves perhaps!

On another occasion, whilst looking for a dress, (NOT FOR ME), they had the warning: KEEP AWAY FROM OPEN FIRES 

A packet of peanuts I bought at the supermarket had the warning: MAY CONTAIN NUTS

I know that some people are allergic to various foods, and I feel very sorry for them, it must be a terrible condition to have. I am sure these people are intelligent enough to know the item they are allergic to. Do we have to insult their intelligence by warning them that a packet of peanuts contains nuts?

I also hate it when, on TV or radio, some idiot expert says something that you cannot contradict. By the time you write in, or text, it is too late. The item has been broadcast and your comment thrown in the delete bin.

The other day on TV someone said that the brain, (he didn't seem to have one), is not the only organ to retain memory. Apparently, someone had a heart transplant. The donor was a carpenter. The recipient of the heart, when healed, became a very adept carpenter even though he had never worked with wood before.

What nonsense. For a start, such a claim contradicts the fact that we have a soul and it is the soul that controls our behaviour. A lot of religions believe we have a soul, and the body is only the outer casing which disintegrates in time as the soul lives on. The brain, heart, liver etc ... are only various components of the body. 

That aside, such a statement by a so-called experts will only lead other people to believe it. Presumably, following this logic, if someone gets a liver transplant from someone who was an alcoholic then he too will become an alcoholic. The medical profession should be made aware of this. And should be grateful to me for bringing this fact to their attention.

Another example: A friend went to see the doctor. The doctor gave him some suppositories and said "put one in your back passage every evening before going to bed". Dutifully, the man put a suppository outside by the back door each evening. A few days later the doctor asked him how he was. He replied, "those suppositories were useless. I might as well have put them up my backside for all the good they did!"

I am sure you, my readers, can think of other examples of idiotic behaviour, warnings, comments on TV or social media, or whatever. In fact I wish you'd share them with us in the comments box below. We can prepare a catalogue of idiocy which we can then bury in a time capsule for future generations to dig up an learn about us.

I have a cardboard shoebox which I have labelled "Time Capsule" so all we need now is to fill it with bits of paper recording modern day idiocy.