Facts, Truth and Lies

I wanted a good photo to attract your attention. So ... what do you think? Truth? Facts? Or lies? Or even perhaps distorted facts?

You see, sometimes we cannot believe our eyes. We see something and it's imprinted on our minds; and later on perhaps we have to tell the police or the authorities what we saw and our minds are all confused. Did we see it as we think we saw it or is our mind playing tricks on us? 

So why did these women attend church naked?

Here is the original photo:

Aha ... now it makes sense. The photo was true. It was a fact. These women did go to church just as you see them. But your mind decided to think something else and it distorted the facts into lies.

And that's the problem these days with newspapers, magazines and social media; with everyone able to go on the Internet and write what they want and it is accepted by others as the truth and it is repeated and perpetrated as such and before you know it everyone believes it. 

 

This is how people are influenced. This is how conspiracy theories start and proliferate. This is how confusion occurs. This is how people can be fooled into parting with their monies hoping for a get rich quick scheme, or a new miraculous diet to lose weight, or a cure against baldness, flatulence or stupidity.

It's everywhere! People not telling you the real truth because, as Jack Nicholson said, "you can't handle the truth!" Or as Pontius the Pirate said, "What is truth?"

I often thumb through the local paper to see what's happened locally and to check whether I really care.

The other day I saw a small advert for a local handyman who would come round and do jobs that need doing in your house. The advert said: "No job is too small!" claiming that the man would do anything.

I rang him and said, "The toilet paper roll needs changing. I don't know how to do it. Can you do it for me?"

He declined. The job was too small for him to bother. His advert was lying.

Did you know that the mole ... those little creatures that hide underground ... the mole can smell in stereo. That's what it said on TV. Apparently they can pin-point where the bad smell comes from in an elevator and say, "You did it!" So be careful if you're in an elevator with a mole.

One of the faucets in our bathroom was dripping. The plumber called and said it could not be fixed. I don't know whether that's true or whether he was fooling me into doing a bigger job than just fixing it. 

 

He suggested I change the faucet; but because it would look different from the other one, he suggested we change both faucets. And because they would look different from the faucets in the wash-basin, he suggested we change those too, so we would have four matching new faucets.

I did not know whether to agree his suggestions or to tell him to shove the faulty faucet somewhere on his anatomy.

When he finished the job he then asked me, "would you like to keep the old faucets?"

"Yeah ... of course," I said, "I'll have them framed and hung over the mantle piece. They will be a good conversation starter at our next party. I'll be able to tell everyone what a thieving ******* you are!"

And whilst I'm thinking about it, here's another example of misinterpretation of the facts. I was at the pharmacist the other day to pick up some medicines and I happened to mention I was a little tired. "You need a foot-spa!" he said.

I'd never heard about this and asked him what it was. He showed me one. It is in effect a small plastic basin which you fill with water and then you plug it in the electric mains to warm the water, and then you put your feet in to relax them after a long day at work.

Well, I may look stupid, but even I remember from my science lessons at school that water and electricity do not mix, and putting your feet in that basin would not be a good idea.

And finally, here is another utter lie I saw printed on the side of a QUICK-COOK RICE packet. It said, "take one sachet from the packet and stand in boiling water for 5 minutes".

I did it and got my feet burnt.

And also, really finally, apparently even today in the 21st Century, when science has proved certain things beyond a shadow of a doubt, there are people that would have you believe that the earth is actually flat. I wonder, do the Flat Earth Society people have branches all over the globe?

And also, really really finally, I am not lying to you this time ... really really finally ... apparently I read in the papers that in the UK 13% of babies are conceived in an IKEA bed. I find this difficult to believe; especially since those shops are normally well lit.

Also ... really really really finally, did you know that if you come face-to-face with a gorilla and you suddenly hide behind a tree it will forget ever seeing you. It's out of sight out of mind. This is really true, the gorilla sitting next to me just told me!

 

I bet you don't believe me!