Monday 29 May 2023

Don't mind me ... I'm thinking aloud.

 

There are too many thoughts on my mind right now. I can't shake them off. Why can't we shake ourselves like wet dogs do and get rid of all our thoughts for a while?

For example, I have noticed in many films and TV dramas that when women start crying, as they often do, the man always hands them a neatly folded extra clean handkerchief. Do men carry handkerchiefs especially for such occasions? Not me. In the past when a woman burst out crying next to me I just joined her and cried even louder and asked her for a handkerchief. That usually stopped her. If she did not stop crying I just walked away. 

Talking of which, I walked to the stationery shop to buy some envelopes. It had moved. It really surprised me. 

There's been an increase in crime in our multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many levels.

 

There was an accident outside the car-park. A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a van filled with terrapins. What a turtle disaster that was. In the mayhem that ensued a tortoise was mugged by a snail. When the police asked for details the tortoise said it happened so quickly.

I hate it when people are so slow. The other day I had dinner with a world chess champion. At our table there was a check tablecloth. It took him twenty minutes to pass me the salt.

At the restaurant I met Bruce Lee's vegetarian brother. Brocko Lee.

There were a couple at the restaurant holding hands. How romantic. I like to hold hands at the movies, which always seems to startle strangers.

I think every married man should hold hands every now and then and forget past mistakes he's made. There's no point in two people remembering the same thing. Like the day my wife asked me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.

I went to a wedding the other day. The photographer said, "would all married men stand next to the person who made their life worth while!" The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Wives are strange creatures. Mine waits up until 3 in the morning just to ask me "do you know what time it is?" The other day she started shouting at half-passed-midnight. "Golf ... golf ... golf ..." she cried, "you do nothing other than play golf!" She nearly gave me a heart attack. I did not expect her on the golf course at that hour.

Right now I'm thinking which came first? The chicken or the egg? I've ordered both from Amazon and will let you know when they arrive.

I sometimes wish I lived in a big house. But then who is going to do all the cleaning? Or take the trash bins out? Such a long walk to the side-walk!

Who takes the trash bins out in your household?

 
 

18 comments:

  1. ...today so many are just load and never think!

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    1. I think I think too much; or perhaps I think not. What do you think?

      God bless, Tom.

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  2. Victor, I really enjoyed your post today, much of it gave me a good chuckle. It's good to laugh now and then. Laughter can be such good medicine. I need to laugh more often.

    God Bless!

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    1. Yes it's good to laugh, Lon. I often stand in front of the mirror and laugh.

      God bless.

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  3. You've included some laugh-out-loud moments! The checkered tablecloth, especially! Waiting to hear what Amazon brings ... my money's on the chicken. Let's see. I'm the designated trash taker-outer, only on account I'm the one who remembers. Love the video solo!

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    1. I'm so pleased to learn you enjoyed my humour today, Mevely. Sometimes my brain free-wheels and I write to amuse myself ... and my readers.

      God bless always.

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  4. Thanks for the truly great laughs today, Victor. Blessings!

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    1. Often I find that humour keeps me going, Martha. The world has so much bad news these days. We need to pray more.

      God bless.

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  5. Do you know what time it is? It's time to laugh. :)
    Thanks, Victor

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    1. Any time is a good time to laugh, Bill. Laughter is contagious. The world needs more smiles.

      God bless.

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  6. Thanks for making me laugh.

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    1. It's a pleasure to see my readers laugh, Happyone.

      God bless.

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  7. Okay I must admit I smiled at the stationary shop that moved. Oh well. I smile easily.
    We enjoy your wit. THANKs, also for the prayers, they are makihg life better.....
    Sherry & jack

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    1. Smiling and laughing make a happy heart, Jack. Smile always. I'm so glad that prayers are working for you. Still praying.

      God bless you and Sherry.

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  8. Victor - thank you so much for visiting my blog and leaving a comment. It is so nice to meet new people via the blogosphere.

    It took me a couple of minutes to catch on to the jokes in your post, and then I really started smiling. Thank you for giving me a reason to giggle today!

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    1. It's so nice to see you visiting here Angie. Please call again soon and often and invite your friends. Plenty to smile about here. Start by clicking on the Giggles and Fun tab at the top of the page.

      God bless always.

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  9. You make me smile, thank you.

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God bless you.