Medical Treatment

 

I needed medical treatment of the bedroom kind. This is very embarrassing and probably not a subject for this Blog. But I've always been honest with you folks and told you about myself and things happening in my life. So here goes ...

I fell out of bed. I was dreaming of playing football and kicked the ball very hard. My foot hit a bedside cupboard nearby, and I fell out of bed. Result: torn ligament.

I don't know what torn ligament means. The doctor tried to explain but I was not interested. All I knew is that it hurts badly. Worse than a paper cut on your finger.

He suggested I go to a physiotherapist. 

Now I don't know about you, but I hate going to all types of medics. I don't like being prodded and checked here and there and everywhere. Especially there!

I remember going to a dentist once and when he said "Open wide" he fell into my mouth. They had to bring a rescue team with ropes to fish him out again.

I don't understand much about medical matters. Did you know that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot? 

Whatever ailment you have the doctor will say it's a virus; which really means "I don't know!"

So I went to church to pray about this forthcoming physiotherapist visit. As luck would have it, there was another man also there a few pews away. He was praying in a loud enough voice for me to hear. He pleaded with God for some money to feed his family. I don't know if it was true or not; maybe he is in financial difficulties or maybe he was a gambler and lost all his money. Whatever, he was disturbing me. So I got up and gave him all the money I had; then I turned to God and said, "now may I have Your undivided attention?"

I prayed that I did not want to go to the physiotherapist. So God pushed him down the stairs!

(JOKE ... It's a joke, people. As if God would push the physiotherapist down the stairs. Trip him maybe ... but not push!)

Anyway, I reluctantly went to see the physiotherapist. You should have seen how much he charges. It would have been cheaper to buy the whole practice and have him work for me.

He suggested the best treatment for a torn ligament in my leg is for me to take up ballet dancing. 

I hate the ballet; especially men dressed in those very tight pants revealing all their bits. 

I told the physiotherapist that wearing those pants with a mixed group of people would be very embarrassing for me. 

He said, "yes, but it would take your mind off the torn ligament."

So there you have it. If you're feeling unwell be thankful that it could always be worse.

Let's hope I dream something more pleasant tonight.