How do you ablute?

You'd be surprised what people talk about on social media these days.
I thought I'd share these questions with you.

What do you prefer, a bath or a shower?

I prefer both. I have a bath first and then I shower. Sometimes when I am in a hurry I just sit in an empty bath naked for a few minutes and then get up and get dressed. If I have a few minutes to spare I might vacuum clean myself instead.

Do you use soap in the bath or shower or do you use liquid gel or cream?

Again, I use both. It depends on how much of a hurry I am. Sometimes I use tooth paste. To clean my teeth with ... what did you think?

Do you shave before or after you take a shower or bath?

I have a beard and proud of it.

Do you wear your glasses when in the shower or bath?

Of course. How else can one see all the little bits?

Do you sing in the bath or shower?

I sing so well the neighbours have broken all our windows to hear me better. 

Do you bath or shower alone or with your partner?

I understand that some people do indeed bath/shower with their partners. This is good because it saves water and soap. However, if one's partner is not at home one can always invite a friend or neighbour or a complete stranger round. It's called sharing. I read about it on social media.

Do you bath or shower with your pets?

I know some people bath or shower with their dogs. Not so easy with a cat or goldfish. Or indeed with a parrot. I once tried it with my pet crocodile ... Snappy!!! That was his name, by the way. I also shared a shower with a wasp. It was a harrowing experience as it got very interested in attacking me after I blasted it with a hot shower jet.

Do you ever use your cell phone in the shower?

It depends who I want to speak to. For example, I might want to order a pizza.

Do you watch TV or listen to the radio in the shower or bath?

No ... but I often enjoy ballroom dancing.

Do you read in the shower or bath?

Why can't they make water proof electronic tablets? Or books? The problem though would be how to turn the pages whilst sitting there washing your hair or face or ... whatever.

Do you dry yourself with a towel or wear one of those bath robes made of towel material?

I use the vacuum cleaner turned to blow instead of suck.

Right ... now over to you. 

Please answer as many questions as you can, or add more questions below.