Tuesday 22 January 2019

Would you Adam and Eve it?

Once upon a time there was Adam. He was alone in Paradise but, to be honest, he was happy. Plenty of food to eat, plenty of walks in the sunshine, sleep when he wants, wake up when he wants. No chores or jobs to do; like taking out the trash, washing the dishes, painting the garden fence ... and all that. Just happiness.

God saw this and created woman ... Eve!

So for a while there was Adam and Eve living happily in the Garden of Eden (another word for Paradise). They had nothing to do except enjoy themselves walking naked all over the place. No troubles, no concerns and no worries, just like before - apart from watching out for the cactus plants and not getting too near them.

All was happiness and joy and bliss.

Then one day Eve asked Adam, "Do you love me?"

Adam looked around and said, "Who else is there? It's only me and you here."

Eve blushed and said coyly, "us ladies like to be re-assured every now and then."

Adam wondered why. A sentiment echoed by all men ever since.

I mean ... what is it with you ladies? Why do you want re-assurance all the time that we love you? We married you didn't we? And every so often we buy you chocolates, don't we? Especially when they are on offer at the supermarket. And we give you flowers when we fill up the car with petrol at the gas station. And don't we write nice things on your birthday cards, anniversary cards and all other occasions cards? Why don't you keep these cards and read them when you want re-assurance that we love you?

We men don't need such constant re-assurance. As long as there's a hot meal on the table we know all is OK.

Anyway, to get on with the story. In Adam's case there was no one else he could fancy instead of Eve. Despite the big hairy wart she had on her nose, Adam still loved her all the same.

There was no point him fantasising about glamourous sexy women like in Hollywood films because cinemas had not been invented yet.

So he told her that she was the only love in his life because there was no one else in the whole world to love as much as her.

"You know ..." she said, "there is someone else here?"

Fearing the worst, and wondering whether his hot dinners were assured, he asked tentatively, "Who else is there my sweet darling?"

"There's a beautiful big snake," she said, "I have seen him often. He is so sweet and speaks so softly. Have you not seen him?"

"A snake!!! If I had seen him I would have covered my bits in case he took a bite," said Adam covering his manhood, "not engage in conversation with him!"

Any how ... I am sure you know how the story ended. You can read all about it in Genesis 2. That's Genesis in the Bible, not Genesis the English rock band with Phil Collins.

Now the thing to remember in all this is that Adam and Eve's sin was not just a sin of disobedience. It was worse than that. It was a sin of rebellion. They wanted to be gods. The snake had told them if they ate the forbidden fruit they will not die; "when you eat it, you will be like God and know what is good and what is bad.”

20 comments:

  1. I seldom listen to snakes.

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  2. I would eat broccoli over apples any day, especially covered in cheese sauce!! Go figure! Always enlightening, Victor!

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    1. Are broccoli a vegetable or are they small trees?

      God bless you, Terri.

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  3. I hate snakes so I would have tried my best to eliminate it asap. I love broccoli and apples too. :)

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    1. I agree with you on all three points, Bill. Snakes, broccoli and apples - hey ... that could be a name for a legal firm.

      God bless.

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  4. Ironically, they didn't need that knowledge They had been made, not just "like gods," but "in the image of God." We still are, although it seems we hide it well, and that's almost another topic. Thanks for sharing this.

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    1. Thank you Brian for visiting us here. It's great to see you. Please call again.

      God bless you.

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  5. AND here we are all those years later, STILL trying to sit upon the throne! We think WE know what is best. THAT'S RICH!!
    Blessings!

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  6. I would have ran away from the snake screaming "The horror, the horror!"

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    1. I agree Regina. Good to see you here again.

      God bless.

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  7. Hilarious rewrite of this story, Victor! And as Lulu noted, we are still prone to rebellion today. So sad!
    Blessings!

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    1. Yes it is sad, Martha. Human nature at its worse.

      God bless you and your family.

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  8. I wonder - is it rebellion, or greed that longs for more, more, more. Unlike broccoli, snakes repulse and terrify me. Pass the little green trees, please?

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    1. Good question, Mevely. I think it was probably rebellion; they wanted to be gods. Perhaps it was greed as well.

      What is the difference between broccoli and cauliflower? Is a cauliflower a white broccoli? Or is it a flowering cabbage?

      God bless you, my friend.

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  9. "...you will be like God and know what is good and what is bad."

    Turned out not to be so great.

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