Things that **** me off!

 

 

I know we should all be calm, cool, and collected; (Collected by whom? The trash lorry every week?).

 

As I was saying, despite advice that we should remain not upset and not bothered by certain things in our lives; this is not always possible. If you are honest, you'd admit to something that people say or do that gets on your nerves. Sets your teeth on edge. Or, as in my case, make me bite hard on the table leg.

 

The phrase calm, cool and collected; for instance. What does it really mean? I suppose we can (as best we can) remain calm in some instances where others are losing it. But how do you remain cool? Shove ice in your underpants?

 

Another annoying phrase people use is, "we are all in this together?" What does that mean? Are you telling me that in an economic crisis, or in another dire situation, we are all affected the same way? Be it rich or poor, educated or not, young or old ... etc ... etc ... Are we really all in this together, suffering the same ills as everyone else?

 

How about "take one day at a time"? Is there any other way? Personally, I would like to take a week at a time, or a month; especially when I am going through a bad phase. Rush forwards and it's over. But can I do that? The damn calendar will not let me. It insists I take one day at a time. It's enough to make you write a song about it!

 

And then there are people who give you inane advice, like, "be where you're comfortable in life". What the hell does that mean? We are in life where we are at the present time. Some of us are young, some are old. Some rich, some not. Some healthy, others not so. And so on ... To suggest that we can do much in life to alter such a state of being is totally stupid. 

 

Some life-style counselling idiot said it on TV the other day. The person needing help was concerned about a family situation, disagreements, hurts all round and so on. I felt sorry for her. Then the stupid counsellor said, "you need to be where you are comfortable in life". Meaning, make your own decision on this. Great help that was! Of course, the poor woman needed a change of situation from the one she was in. Difficulties not of her own making, may I add. To tell her to be in a more comfortable place was not help at all.

 

Well ... I advised the counsellor to go an boil her head. Pity she didn't hear me on the TV.

 

Another annoying saying is, "you make your own luck in life". How do you do that? How can I make myself lucky and win the lottery? I prayed about it often enough. I asked God time and again to make me win the lottery. I never did. One day, in a dream, I saw myself actually asking God, "why did you not make me lucky and win the lottery?"

He replied, "you should have given me half a chance by buying a lottery ticket!"

And how about comments with no meanings whatsoever?

The other day I was watching a cooking program on TV. (Why? You ask. Well, I suppose it is better than watching the dust gathering on the screen because of the static. Stop interrupting me! I do hate it when I interrupt myself whilst talking.)

 

Anyway, this pretend cook was somewhere abroad sampling the local cuisine. He interviewed a local who said, "food is part of our culture!"

 

What? What does this crap mean? Food is part of everyone's culture because without it we die. Whether we're in America, Britain, or wherever we all have food as part of our culture. It may be different, but it is food all the same.

 

Then the pretend chef sampled some boiled something or other, and smiled saying "this speaks to me!"

 

What does this mean? Does it mean it makes me want to vomit? Does it mean it is nice? Or does it compare well with the table leg I am chewing on right now?