Have you been to Oban? Really worth visiting, especially if you like whisky. But even if you don't, it is really worth visiting. Years ago I dreamt of retiring to Oban. What a nice place to be!
As I was saying, I was in Oban on holiday. The car broke down on one of the roads in, or out, of the town. Rather deserted place. I looked under the bonnet. I don't know why. I can't tell one bit of the engine from another.
Now here's an idea! Why don't car manufacturers name all the pieces under the bonnet? It would make life easier.
"This is a RADIATOR. This is a SPARKLING PLUG. FAN BELT. WINDSCREEN WASHER BOTTLE" and so on.
Not that it would have helped me. I didn't know which one was not working and what to do to make it work again.
Moments later two cyclists passed by. A young man and a young woman. I stopped them and asked, "do you know where the nearest emergency garage is, and how to get help out here?"
Silly me. Expecting people in Scotland to speak English.
They replied in a not understandable language. What is the word for not understandable? Un-understandable?
Anyway, it sounded Spanish. Or possibly Portuguese. Or South American perhaps. Argentina, Brazil, Peru ... anywhere in the world really. Except English. It definitely did not sound English. It could have been Scandinavian ... Danish, Dutch, Swedish perhaps?
They did not understand my English and I did not understand their language.
I got an idea ... I had a dictionary in the car. Unfortunately, it was an English to Greek dictionary.
I looked up in English every word of "do you know where the nearest emergency garage is?" It took me over ten minutes whilst the two cyclists waited patiently.
I wrote the translation from English to Greek on a piece of paper. I hope the Greeks use the same order of words like we do in English. Here is what I wrote, "ξέρετε πού είναι το πλησιέστερο γκαράζ έκτακτης ανάγκης"
As I can't read or pronounce Greek, I showed them the paper. They shrugged their shoulders.
I searched in the car. I did not have a Greek to Spanish, Portuguese, Argentinian, Dutch or whatever, dictionary.
I pointed to the car engine and kept saying, "Kaput", which as I recall, means broken.
The man was confused. The woman pointed at some electrical leads that had come un-done. She put them back where they're supposed to be and the car started first time.
As a thank you, I gave her a bottle of whisky I'd just bought from Oban.
Why can't someone invent a device like they have on Star Trek where everyone speaks in English? Whether you're a Klingon, or an artichoke eating alien from the planet Vegan, wherever they go throughout the universe the Star Trek people always find someone speak in English.
I wonder whether their spaceship ever broke down in Oban!
*******
I have now bought an electronic tablet. You type what you want to say in English and it translates it for you in any language. Here are some helpful phrases I used when on holiday abroad.
Do you sell underpants?
You look like a penguin.
These frogs have no legs.
Is garlic an aphrodisiac over here?
Can I take a photo of you? They'll never believe this back home!
One phone call and a solicitor.
...after watching a number of BBC shows, I often wonder what language they speak!
ReplyDeleteIt depends what programs you've been watching, Tom. There's a great difference from London Cockney, Liverpool, Glasgow, Norwich and so on. Dialects change every few miles.
DeleteGod bless.
What I LOVE, Victor, is when people speak louder in an effort to be understood when there is a translation problem. As if THAT will help with the issue!!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, My Friend!
Yes, typical British attitude. Speak loud and very slowly. That'll make them understand.
DeleteGod bless, Lulu.
A thick Scottish brogue is difficult to understand, even if they're speaking English, Victor. At least you turned what could have been a disaster into something to laugh about.
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Edinburgh Scottish is OK to understand. Glasgow is a bit more difficult to understand though. Have you heard of a comedian called Billy Connolly? Look him up on You Tube - see if you understand him.
DeleteGod bless, Martha.
I agree with Martha! Could be age-related, but not having travelled outside our own borders in years, I struggle to understand other dialects.
ReplyDeleteWhoever invented that tablet is genius. (*giggling*)
Some Scottish accents are difficult to understand. I've often wondered what makes dialects. Why do people speak in different "tones" in places only miles apart. Here in the UK we have many accnets. Even within London.
DeleteGod bless, Mevely.
I once had to find a bathroom in Italy. After trying a couple of different synonyms with no luck I held my legs together and put a pained look on my face. The lady asked "pee pee?" and pointed me in the right direction.
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Kathy. I like it. Some things are international in sign language.
DeleteGod bless you.
Dearest Victor,
ReplyDeleteThat was a very technical clever lady cyclist!
When using a tablet without any understanding of the foreign language you might be in for a BIG surprise. It is not always (often!) the correct way.
Hugs,
Mariette
Exactly. All I had at the time was an English/Greek dictionary. They didn't speak English. I did not speak Greek. They did not speak Greek either. I did not speak Spanish, Portuguese, Argentinian, Peruvian, Brazilian, Dutch, Danish, Swedish or any other language except KAPUT. She understood that. It must be a mechanical word, I think!
DeleteGod bless, Mariette.
😉
DeleteI love listening to a Scottish accent - guess we got used to it living there for 4 years. :)
ReplyDeleteOch aye the noo!
DeleteGod bless, Happyone.
Ahhh that language problem... I got lost in some big city in Germany. I even forgot the name of the motel. I finally got my translator out at a bar. "I need to find the motel across from the Mercedes dealer?"
ReplyDeleteThe guy types in "Which dealer?" Oh I forgot I was in Germany. I finally found someone who could speak some English. Anyway Believe it or not I do understand this entry. LOL I even know what a Bonnet is.... Thanks for the smiles...
That's the problem with translations, Jack. Even English speaking countries have different words for the same thing. Over here, the bonnet is the bit that covers the engine. What is it called in the US? Is it the car hood?
DeleteGod bless you and Sherry.
My current housekeeper is from Bulgaria. She has a lovely accent, but doesn’t speak much English. We communicate by showing each what we are talking about. Sometimes it is frustrating! Your female cyclist was car smart or maybe just smart??? I’m glad she happened along to get you on your way…God bless you, Victor.
ReplyDeleteThat cyclist was certainly smarter than me, Nells. All the things in the car look the same to me.
DeleteGod bless always my friend.
No matter what, it sounds like you stopped in the right place where the perfect person for the job happened to come along.
ReplyDeleteThank God for sending the perfect person to the rescue.
DeleteGod bless, Mimi.
The Scottish brand of English is very hard to decipher. I remember new management arriving at the factory where I worked, they called a meeting and we all trooped into the meeting room and listened while he rattled on, then he slowly asked how many of us understood. One woman raised her hand. She'd been born and raised in Scotland. It didn't much matter what he said, we could all read the writing on the wall. The factory was closing and we were all out of a job.
ReplyDeleteSome Scottish accents are more difficult than others to understand, River. Especially Glasgow accents. So sorry about the factory closure.
DeleteGod bless you.