What shall I write about?

 

You can imagine what it's like. I sit at my computer day after day ignoring all distractions just to write something interesting, educational or informative for you my readers to enjoy and be entertained.

It is not easy you know. Sometimes I wonder what else I can write about to ensure that you continue to visit me here; and also that you encourage and invite others to venture here too.

Do you realise that if each one of you encouraged just one more regular visitor here then there would be more readers to this Blog than there are empty pizza boxes in the kitchen.

Anyway, c'est la vie, as they say. It seems the road to my success is always under construction.

It reminds me of that day long ago when I met a beautiful woman in the museum in Paris. I thought I was in Louvre! Turned out I was in Seine as she pushed me in the river.

But I am much wiser now years later having learnt a lot about love and marriage. Did you know that behind every angry wife there is a man with absolutely no idea what he did wrong?

That's the thing about married life. One day you're the best thing since sliced bread; and the next moment you're toast.

Perhaps you wise people can advise me about this. I can't seem to get anything right. If you deliberately try to fail, and you succeed; which one have you done? 

I married my wife for her looks; but not the ones she is giving me right now!

The other day she said, "I asked you to take the trash out many times and you've still not done it!"

I replied, "Thank you my dear for explaining the word many to me; it means a lot!" She was not impressed by my wit.

She always complains that I never listen to her ... or something like that! She said, I'm forgetful. When I told the doctor I'm forgetful he made me pay in advance.

She often corrects me in discussion or when talking to friends. Does anyone know how to disable the auto-correct function on a spouse?

The other day my wife complained that I was useless at fixing electrical equipment. When I discovered that our toaster is not waterproof I was quite shocked.

Anyway, as you know, I often like to end up with a Christian story to make us all try to be better and lead a good life. This one is about stealing and cheating.

Once upon a time there was an unscrupulous painter who was very interested in making extra money if he could. He often thinned down his paint with turpentine to make it go a bit further. Sadly, he got away with this for some time.

One day he was painting the outside of the Church Parish Hall white. So he set about erecting the scaffolding and got up to start the job. 

Sadly, like always, this cheating man had thinned the paint with turpentine.

As he was painting away, the job nearly completed, there was suddenly a horrendous clap of thunder, the sky opened. The rain poured down washing the thinned paint from all over the Parish Hall walls, and knocking the painter clear off the scaffold to land on the lawn among the gravestones, surrounded by tell-tale puddles of the thinned and useless paint.

The thieving painter soon realised that this was a judgement from above … ... ...

He got on his knees and cried, “Oh God … oh God … help me … what should I do?”

And just then a thunderous voice replied:

“Repaint !!! Repaint !!! And thin no more !!!”