Reflections for Easter

 

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Reflections

 

Laxatives give you a good run for your money.

Wear glasses to math class, it improves divisions.

When I tried to grab the fog, I mist.

Before the crowbar was invented crows had to drink at home.

To some marriage is a word. To others it is a sentence.

Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age shows up all by itself. 

Some people are wise. Some are otherwise.

My relationship with whisky is on the rocks.

Kleptomaniacs always take thinks literally. 

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

It was a terrible summer for Humpty Dumpty, but he had a great fall.

When you teach a wolf to meditate he becomes aware wolf.

Santa goes down the chimney because it soots him.

There was a huge fight at the local seafood diner. Battered fish everywhere.

I sued the airline for losing my luggage. I lost my case.

Where there's a will there's a relative.

Happiness is getting home and finding there's still a bit of cheese in the mousetrap.

Happiness is when your dentist says it won't hurt, then he cuts his hand on the drill.

Why can't they put a snooze button on smoke alarms?

Coffee is not everyone's cup of tea.

At the department store I tried to buy a pink negligee for my wife. I picked up one and I asked the saleslady, "Is this satin?" She replied, "no, it's brand new!"

I went to see the doctor about a personal problem. He asked me, "How's your libido?" I replied, "I've sold that Italian car. Now I have a Toyota!"

Reflections in my life

 

We probably look in the mirror several times a day. In the morning when we comb our hair, when we put on our lipstick and other paint on our face, when we brush our teeth, perhaps in the car when we have a final check before an important meeting and so on.

But do we think when we look at the mirror?

Look at this woman in the photo below:

She is holding her face with her left hand. That is obvious. But why in the mirror she is holding her face with her right hand?

Why did the mirror flip the photo left to right?

And why did the mirror flip the photo left to right and not vertically from up to down? Why don't we see the mirror image upside down but flipped from left to right?

Whilst you're pondering this, and perhaps giving me some answers, here are some other facts about mirrors and reversals of images, or life in general.

Did you know that in some zoos they put mirrors in the flamingo enclosures? This is because flamingoes will not breed in captivity unless there are a certain number of birds in the flock. So they look at the mirrors and say, "Ah ... there's quite a few of us. It is safe to breed because there's safety in numbers!" The zoo keepers put the mirrors to fool the flamingoes that it is safe to breed.

Did you know that the robin will attack his reflection in a mirror or in a window with curtains drawn? He is probably the only bird to do so. Intelligent or stupid?

Did you know that some fish would recognise their reflection in a mirror and not think it is another fish?

And a baby would not recognise his reflection until he is 2 years old at least?

Did you know when athletes run round the track when racing they always run anti-clockwise. If you were in a helicopter above them you will always see them running anti-clock wise no matter which country the track is in. As a result their left leg is shorter than the right!

Now for this next fact I need to rely on your total honesty and integrity.

Look at the photos below, and without checking anywhere else, can you tell me ... ... ...

Is the real Statue of Liberty holding the torch in her right hand or her left one?

Don't check ... decide on your choice NOW.

Apparently, in tests most people get the answer wrong and say she is holding the torch in her left hand. In fact, it is in her right hand. 

It is the same with British coins. Many people believe the Queen is facing left on the coins; but she is facing right.

And finally ... when you look in the mirror; what do you see?

Do you see Christ there? Are you a reflection of Christ in your daily life? Are you Christ to somebody you meet every day in your life?

Time For Reflections

 

 

TIME FOR REFLECTIONS

Please sit back

Watch the video

and

Pray

 

Time for Reflections

Another short recording (9 minutes) from my time on the radio.

Time For Reflections

Another short recording (13 minutes) from my days on the radio.

This one contains three songs with a message so relevant to society these days

On Reflection ... What's The Point?

I was painting the house the other day. I've started with the living room and then I'll move on from one room to another. Then it occurred to me ... what's the point?

What's the point of painting these walls and ceilings when in a couple of years' time I'll do it all over again?

A painter expert told me that first I should scrape the old paint off, clean the walls properly, paint an under-coat, and then when it's dry paint another coat.

What nonsense. I just paint one cover over the other. Much quicker. Just splosh the new paint on to the old one. Over the years the walls have become thicker and thicker with one layer of paint over the other. I bet our house all round is now six inches smaller because of the many layers of paints on the walls and ceilings. Pretty soon the house will be so small that even the mice will have hunchbacks.

And that's what led me to think ... what's the point of it all?

What's the point of doing something over and again. Like painting the house. Mowing the lawn. Vacuum cleaning. Dusting. Washing plates and cups and cutlery. Washing clothes. It's all repetitive and leads to nowhere.

Come to think of it. What's the point of wearing clothes anyway? Some people I know have to buy clothes several times a year to keep in with changing fashions. Spring collection. Summer Collection. Autumn and Winter too. And on and on the fashion industry gets us to buy too many clothes we don't need.

What a different world it would be if we wore no clothes at all? Angels are often depicted with no clothes on. They don't seem to mind.

Do you realise how less pompous people would be if they all wore no clothes? These days people use their clothes to influence one another. Power dressing, that's what it is. A man would have the latest fashionable suit on; a woman would have padded shoulders to make her look bigger and more impressive; or the latest shoes or jewellery or fancy hat.

With no clothes on we'd all be equal. What would matter is what sort of person we are - kind, gentle, knowledgeable, helpful and so on.

Without clothes on my boss at work would be much kinder if we could all see her naughty bits. And I suppose we'd be much nicer too if she could see ours.

The more I think about it, the more I'm convinced that there are many things in life with no point at all.

For example, what's the point of me writing books or blogs if I'm going to be ignored anyway? After all, there's only you and me reading this right now. And not everyone seems to comment in support or in disagreement anyway.

As my old school friend Willy Shakespeare put it:

To Blog or not to Blog
That is the question.
Whether it is nobler in the mind
To keep one’s thoughts to oneself
Than reveal them to all
On screens large and small.
And by doing such
Suffer the slings and arrows
Of outrageous readers
Who’d rather Block you
Than read your feeble Tweeters.
Or to bravely face your qualms
And courageously Blog on
Regardless of your audience
Be it great or be it small;
Just Blog on into eternity
And have yourself a ball!

So there you have it. Stop painting the house and wearing clothes. But keep Blogging.

REFLECTIONS

Reflections and prayers for those special times in our lives. 

Please click HERE.

Reflections.

Reflections and prayers for those special times in our lives. Please click HERE.