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You are probably familiar with Édith Piaf's song No Regrets or Non, Je ne regrette rien, to give it its original French title.
Now some would say that to go through life and have no regrets whatsoever smacks a little of arrogance. Surely, we all have some regrets of things we have done in the past, or things we have not done, or indeed things that have been done to us.
Regrets come with the territory. They are part of life. There is always the fleeting thought of what might have been if things turned out differently. If we decided differently than we actually did. Or if events did not happen as they actually did.
It is part of human nature to look back. It's why we have been given memories. They say that a fish has a memory span of just a few seconds. After that, it forgets what has just happened. Or that if you come face to face with a gorilla, and slowly with no sudden movement you hide behind a tree, he will ignore you. Because, for him, out of sight is out of mind. His memory span has forgotten you.
Well, I've never met a gorilla. So I cannot vouch for that advice. But I have had regrets in my life. As Frank Sinatra sang, they were too few to mention. But the important thing is to learn from them.
Whatever our regrets are. Whether it is something we have done, or not done, or events and things done to us, the first thing to learn is that we cannot turn the clock back. It's happened. It's gone. It is pointless hanging on to that memory and making ourselves sad all over again, or indeed ill.
The second thing to learn is to find out what have we learnt from that experience. Is there anything we would do differently if similar circumstances arise in our lives today?
The third thing to learn is that, if someone has hurt us and did us wrong, we should forgive them. Really forgive them. Even if they don't ask for forgiveness.
The fourth thing to learn is that, if we have hurt someone, and it is still possible, we should now ask their forgiveness. If the individual in question has passed away, then we should leave it at that. There is no point agonising about the situation. That individual is now face to face with God and has seen the situation as it really is. It is now in God's hand.
Finally, if we were in the wrong, we should also seek God's forgiveness. And do so honestly. And believe that He has forgiven us, and to accept that forgiveness gracefully. No point going back over and again on the situation in our mind. To do so means that we have not accepted God's forgiveness. That He was wrong to forgive us. We must truly believe that in His infinite mercy and love, He has forgiven us.
Have you got any regrets? Do they still gnaw into you to the point of making you ill?
I LOVE this post, Victor! This song is a favorite, but I hadn't heard it performed in English. Yes, I've always been a bit perplexed by (envious of) those who say they've no regrets. Unfortunately, I've several (capital-letter) Regrets. Because 3 individuals have passed on, I struggle to forgive myself. I definitely need to quit waiting for that clock to start turning backwards.
ReplyDeleteHi Mevely,
DeleteWhat can I say that may help? Those three individuals have now passed on. They have met God and seen the situation clearly as it was when it happened. God has dealt with them in his infinite mercy and love. You need to ask yourself; if they were alive now, and asked you genuinely for forgiveness, and they were truly sorry for what they had done to you; would you forgive them? Or would you still hold back forgiveness?
If you would forgive them; then you should forgive them now. With all your heart.
If you would withhold forgiveness, then remember the Lord's Prayer - forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.
I am praying for you, Mevely.
God bless.
Excellent post. No regrets here, Victor. Lessons were learned and peace has been made. God bless!
ReplyDeleteThank you Terri.
DeleteGod bless you always.
Yes, I have regrets. I have asked for and have received forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes have to remember not to remind God of that which He has already forgiven & just be thankful that He is so gracious. When the gnawing starts, I start thanking God. I thank Him a lot.
Love the post & the song, Victor.
Once we have asked God for forgiveness then we should be assured that He has forgiven us. Gnawing back on the problem means we are perhaps unsure of His forgiveness. He knows it is our memory working overtime, He understands, and forgives once more.
DeleteGod bless you, Chris.
Oh, yes, I have regrets, but I have left them in the past where they belong. We cannot turn back the hands of time, but we can always turn to God for forgiveness, as we forgive others and forgive ourselves. Beautiful post, Victor!
ReplyDeleteBlessings!
Thank you so much Martha for your kind words. For sure, we cannot turn back time; albeit at times, the result of harm done to us remains to this day.
DeleteGod bless.
Yes. I do have regrets. I do not dwell on them. I do not wake-up each day and relive them all over again.They will not go away because they are a part of my being who I am. I speak to God everyday. He is my rock...so is Mother Mary. I have always believed that if I need to talk things over, I go to someone who truly knows what I am speaking about and knows the truth...God, Jesus and Mother Mary. The three best counselors
ReplyDeletethere are...for me at least.
Great post Victor~
Blessings
Let me tell you a story, Jan.
DeleteWhen hanging on the Cross, Jesus forgave those who put Him there. Yet, every day, He looks at the scars in His hands and feet and on His side, and He remembers once again, and forgives once more.
God bless you.
Good post, Victor. I have regrets but dealt with them. Occasionally I still think of them but don't get caught up in them any longer. You just have to keep going forward, Lessons learnt and I just try to be a better person, that's all I can do.
ReplyDeleteOf course, we will always think back to our regrets. It's human nature to do so. The thing is to learn from them; and wherever necessary to forgive.
DeleteGod bless you, Bill.
Sure I have regrets and think everyone must have some. BUT I've learned from my regrets.
ReplyDeleteYes, Happyone. Learning from them is the answer.
DeleteGod bless.