Friday, 7 September 2018

The Oven-U-Wear

FOREWORD - Well ... more than four words really. Do you ever laugh, or smile at least, when reading this Blog? Yes? Then please tell others about it and share the fun. Thanx.

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I mentioned on this Blog some seven years ago that a friend of mine is quite an inventor. He had invented a jacket which warms up by means of a small battery to keep you protected from the cold in winter. I tried this jacket for him seven years ago with interesting results. I really urge you to read about it HERE.

Anyway, fast forwards to the present day and this same friend has now improved on his invention and has now developed Oven-U-Wear.TM

To put it simply, this is an oven which you wear.

Or, to be more precise, it is a jacket or overcoat which acts like an oven. It has many pockets, both on the inside and outside, and through a battery operated system it heats up each pocket individually to the temperature you desire.

For example, you could be on your way to work with a potato in each armpit cooking gently. By lunchtime, hey presto ... baked potatoes!

Or, on your way home after a hard day's work you could be carrying a chicken on your back roasting gently, whilst the vegetables are in your side pocket and a cake up your sleeve! Once you're home you can sit down to a hot meal in seconds!

In the morning you can eat your porridge from your pocket whilst travelling on the bus or train. And have toast popping out of your collar straight into your mouth. Delicious with some honey or jam which you'll keep in your trousers which act as a refrigerator.

The problem with the trousers is that I have now grown icicles where I really don't want them!

And when they defrost I have a rather embarrassing tell-tale patch at the front of my trousers. Not to mention a cold wet bottom when I sit down.

The combination between cooking a meal in my jacket and making ice cream in my trousers is somewhat disconcerting at the best of time.

In winter I am nice and warm at the top of my body and freezing my un-mentionables underneath. Whereas in summer I am over-heating my head whilst my manhood is rather cool.

All in all, whilst this invention is rather cool, (modern slang meaning good, great, fantastic); in reality it needs a few more refinements.

The other day a short circuit sent an electric shock up my backside and my hat flew off !!!

THIS IS AN EXCERPT FROM 
"SPEAKING FROM MY SOCK" 
Paperback & Kindle version ($1.95)


24 comments:

  1. I will stick to traditional coats thank you! It is a nice thought though.

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    1. These coats are selling like hot cakes, Christine.

      God bless.

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  2. Well I never lol, that’s very interesting!,,

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    1. Cook-on-the-go, Laurie. You'll really like this coat.

      God bless.

      Delete
  3. You had better save one of those pockets in the The Oven-U-Wear coat for a can of oven cleaner like "Easy Off oven cleaner or Mr. Muscle Oven and Grill cleaner (real products) and there begins the sequel to this story :)
    You are a very clever and funny man Victor!!!

    Blessings~

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    1. No ... Jan. The clever thing with this coat is that the pockets have a detachable inner lining. When it is dirty you take the inner sleeve bit out and put it in the washing machine. Or, in time, replace it with a new inner pocket lining.

      We thought of everything at Oven-U-Wear. We're not just a bunch of comedians, you know.

      God bless you, Jan.

      Delete
    2. Gee Victor...you could have fooled me :D

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    3. It's good to laugh, Jan. That's what I'm here for.

      God bless.

      Delete
    4. You are doing a wonderful job Victor...thank you~

      Blessings~

      Delete
    5. You say the kindest things, Jan. Thanx.

      God bless you, my friend.

      Delete
  4. I knew I'd seen this story somewhere, Victor. Yes, enjoying the funny stories in Speaking from My Sock. Keep the funnies coming!
    Blessings!

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    Replies
    1. Glad you're enjoying my book, Martha. Laughter keeps us young.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  5. Funny,Victor! This is a revolutionary product, a must have product for creative and inventive people.

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    1. Indeed it is, Bill. You can buy one of those "cook-in-the-bag" chickens, put it in your coat and it's ready by the time you're home from work. A potato in each armpit, and a few carrots and sprouts ... dinner is served.

      God bless you, Bill.

      Delete
  6. … and as the chicken roasts, I can visualize a pack of hungry dogs following you here, there, everywhere. A modern-day Pied Piper!

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    1. Ah ... you've just identified a major weakness with our invention, Mevely. We had not thought of that. And we were just about to engage into a big advertising campaign world-wide featuring this new coat. It is now on hold; perhaps indefinitely.

      God bless.

      Delete
  7. I laugh every time I read your blog!!
    Think I'll stick to cooking the old fashioned way. : )

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    1. It's good to laugh Happyone. It releases dolphins within us which make us feel good. I read it in a book I am writing.

      God bless.

      Delete
  8. It is good to laugh … thank you.

    Wishing you a good weekend.

    All the best Jan

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Indeed it's good to laugh, Jan. As I said to Happyone, above. Laughter releases dolphins within us, and they make us feel good. I read it in a book which I am writing.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  9. Can the jacket make popcorn?
    It might make people think you are doing the "happy dance."

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    1. Ah ... no ... Chris. The popcorn is made in the hat which you can buy as well as the coat. You place the corn in the hat and as it pops it raises it up and down as you walk down the street. people think you're greeting them good morning; but only you know that you're making something delicious to eat.

      I tried it, and I discovered it curls your hair at the same time.

      God bless.

      Delete

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