TIME FOR REFLECTIONS: Guinea Pig Story

Saturday, 23 May 2020

Guinea Pig Story

Man enters pet shop and looks around. Shop assistant approaches him.

Man: I would like to buy this Guinea pig please?

Shop Assistant: Certainly sir, let me get him for you.

Assistant picks up Guinea pig and puts him in a small box with holes on cover for it to breathe. Buyer looks at animal which instantly rolls over with feet pointing upwards.

Man: Hey ... this Guinea pig is dead. He is as stiff as a board. Look how he rolled over.

Shop Assistant: He is not dead, sir. He is hibernating.

Man: Hibernating? It is the middle of June!

Shop Assistant: Yes sir, he is from South America. They hibernate in summer in South America. If he was from Northern Europe he would hibernate in winter.

Man: So he will remain stiff until winter?

Shop Assistant: Not necessarily. A quick ten seconds in the microwave oven will soon revive him.

Man: I don't believe you. He seems dead to me. Look, his eyes are wide open, and his fur is beginning to fall off.

Shop Assistant: All right. I'll let you have it for half-price.

Man: Half-price? I'd expect a bigger discount for a dead hamster.

Shop Assistant: Guinea pig ...

Man: All right. A dead Guinea pig ...

Shop Assistant: I tell you what ... I'll let you have it for free if you buy another Guinea pig as well.

Man: OK ... I'll have that one too.

Shop Assistant places another Guinea pig in the box.

Man: He seems rather slow moving to me ...

Shop Assistant: That's because he has a bit of a migraine. He was at a party last night. You know ... all that dancing and singing ... and the drinks and the girls ... He must have a bit of a hangover this morning.

Man: A party? He was at a party?

Shop Assistant: A funeral actually. And a get-together afterwards to celebrate the deceased's life.

Man: Who died?

Shop Assistant: This other Guinea pig. But he did not turn up to his own funeral.

Man: Why not?

Shop Assistant: He was up for sale at a reduced price!

IF YOU LIKE MY KIND OF HUMOUR

WHY NOT TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT ON YOUR BLOG?

CLICK HERE

14 comments:

Mevely31723 May 2020 at 07:45
What an comedic exchange! I do like the idea of the guinea pigs' hosting a celebration of life for their friend.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Martha Jane Orlando23 May 2020 at 10:02
Thanks for my daily chuckle, Victor! Blessings!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Wanda23 May 2020 at 10:23
HaHa..just a moment or two in the microwave...funny!! You have reminded me of my own Guinea pig story ~ Truly one of my most embarrassing moments. Think I'll share that story soon. Have a great weekend. Keep us laughing. Hoping some of my blog friends will join you!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Bill23 May 2020 at 11:15
LOL, very funny!
ReplyDelete
Replies
HappyK23 May 2020 at 15:04
😀 Funny
ReplyDelete
Replies
JFM23 May 2020 at 16:09
Your sense of humor is remarkable Victor...I hope that you don't use props to write your humor 🐀

God's Blessings Victor 😁
ReplyDelete
Replies
Lowcarb team member24 May 2020 at 11:55
… :)

As a child I had a Guinea pig called Snowball!

All the best Jan
ReplyDelete
Replies

Add comment

I PRAY FOR ALL WHO COMMENT HERE.

God bless you.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

SEARCHING FOR GOD

Click image above for link “SEARCHING FOR GOD” is for someone who perhaps does not believe in God, or is not sure what to believe. It is for someone who wonders what life is all about. Why are we here and how did we get here? Were we created, or are we just a product of evolution and natural circumstances? This book is also for someone who at some stage may have been a believer but somehow, over time, they have drifted away. Whether you are already a believer or not, this book will help you meditate and reflect on what you truly believe, and on what you base those beliefs, and why. Available from AMAZON in Paperback and Kindle - ISBN 979 8804 555222 Details from www.holyvisions.co.uk

A Shot In The Park

A SHOT IN THE PARK ISBN 979 8402 9636 10 A gunshot is heard in the park opposite Saint Vincent Church. Is Father Ignatius the victim of this attack or the perpetrator of this heinous crime? What was he doing in the park at a time he was due to hear Confessions in church? Was he meeting someone? Is he involved, once again, with the criminal fraternity? Is this the end for our much loved and respected priest? The latest novel in the series about Father Ignatius is a fast-paced and intriguing story with a credible plot line and characters which will keep you guessing at every turn. Available from AMAZON www.holyvisions.co.uk

TIME FOR REFLECTIONS - ISBN: 9798782135638 This book may not change your life but it will certainly make you think about yourself, who you are, and why you have been put on this earth. It will make you analyse your Christian beliefs, whatever they are, and it will make you consider on what you base your views and opinions. What does God really expect from you in this life in preparation for the next one? Now is the Time For Reflections. Perhaps an opportunity to change your ways before it is too late. CLICK HERE www.holyvisions.co.uk

MAN AND GOD

ISBN-13 : 979-8566100388

An easy to read no-nonsense book exploring the many questions we may have asked about God and our role as His creations. Questions like: Who is God? Jesus? The Holy Spirit? Does He really care for us and love us? If so, why do we suffer? Why are so many bad things happening in the world? Is God really in control? Does He answer prayers and perform miracles? Who are Angels and devils? What is sin? These and other topics are discussed in a relaxed simple style.

“Man And God” will make you think about life, about yourself, why God has created you, and your role in this life … and the next.

Suitable for anyone wishing to learn more about Christianity, or for those who may have perhaps wandered from the faith and wish to discover more about themselves in relation to God.

PLEASE CLICK HERE

www.holyvisions.co.uk

Don't Let The Devil Win!

DON’T LET THE DEVIL WIN

ISBN-13: 979-8628750476

The closer we come to God and the more we love Him, the more the devil fights to derail us and to tempt us away from our Faith. He tried this with Jesus several times, so we should not be much of a match for him. Prayers are always the answer to such onslaughts.

In this book about Father Ignatius we witness the devil tempting and tormenting him time and again; even resorting to physical and mental pain to the much loved priest. The battle between Father Ignatius and the devil is one we may have experienced in our own lives as we too became prey to his evil wiles.

DON’T LET THE DEVIL WIN takes you through a journey often reaching breaking point, and yet affirming that God is always by our side. Only a prayer away.

This book is full of advice on how to react when confronted with difficult seemingly insurmountable situations in life.

Available from AMAZON

CLICK PHOTO ABOVE

www.holyvisions.co.uk

The Case of the Mystery Crime

THE CASE OF THE MYSTERY CRIME

ISBN: 9781688368934

A delightful whodunit mystery adventure story dotted with humour and seriousness as one clue leads to another in search for even more clues and cliff-hangers.

The reader is kept guessing as to what is happening and who made it happen and why.

It is a race between you, the reader, and the author as to who will reach the end of the book first and solve this series of mysteries amounting to a collection of crimes.

Will you solve The Case Of The Mystery Crime before the author does?

Give it a try … and enjoy! Click HERE.

www.holyvisions.co.uk

Laugh N Pray

Laugh N Pray

This book is packed with funny stories, humourous tales, anecdotes, jokes, poems as well as more serious articles about Christianity and God.

Laugh N Pray can be read in chronological order, or you can just open any page at random and savour whatever offerings it contains.

Whilst some page turners will make you smile, others will hopefully make you think about life, about yourself, why you have been created by God and your role here on earth. Here are readings which will help you reflect and meditate when praying or in need of inspiration.

Please click here

www.holyvisions.co.uk

TAKE CARE OF MY SHEEP

A priest’s life is not always mundane and pedestrian doing the same thing day in day out. His main responsibility is to take care of Christ’s sheep; the many people who throughout life are brought into his care as God’s servant and shepherd.

There are times when unexpected events turn Father Ignatius’ day upside down and send him to unexpected activities he did not plan; all for the sake of his parishioners and all those he gets to meet in his vocation as a priest.

This book is a collection of short stories in the life of a humble man trying his best to follow in his Master’s footsteps.

AMAZON LINK HERE

www.holyvisions.co.uk

AS I QUOTE MYSELF

"AS I QUOTE MYSELF" is not a biography of a famous celebrity, or other well known personality telling you how they made it good from extreme poverty to being as successful as they are today.

Instead, these are the memoirs of someone you’ve probably never heard of, (unless you’re related to him), but yet with a story to tell.

Follow his misadventures and mishaps as he stumbles through life from one crazy story to another. Imagine him sitting on a rocking chair, a mug of hot chocolate in one hand and a biscuit in the other, relating what he can still remember in a haphazard and non-chronological order. Just like any other conversation really. One thought triggers another and each competing for a modicum of veracity and a pinch of authenticity.

A series of calamities and misfortunes with humourous outcomes which are sure to make you smile, if not laugh out loud. At least that’s what he hopes! CLICK HERE

www.holyvisions.co.uk

MYSTERY AT STATUS MANOR

When a heavy storm and subsequent flooding cut off Status Manor from the rest of the world the hosts of a weekend gathering and their guests are trapped in what turns out to be a murder mystery situation like they’ve never experienced before.

This tale has all the ingredients you’d expect – believable characters including a beautiful vulnerable young woman, a hapless hero, danger at every corner, a missing backgammon disc, an unexpected attack, visit to the dead, a shower scene, a bloody knife, a body, a threatening note and nocturnal goings-on. Oh … and a good serving of humour too.

What else do you want from a good read?

CLICK HERE IF YOU DARE

www.holyvisions.co.uk

REFLECTIONS FOR THE SOUL

Does God exist? Who is Jesus? What is the Holy Spirit?

Can we really trust God? What happens when we lose all hope and our Faith falters?

Why do some people pray to Saints and the Virgin Mary? Is it idolatry? How does God view such prayers?

Why does God appear to be angry and vengeful in the Old Testament yet we are told He is a loving caring Father in the New Testament? Was it a change of strategy and tactics?

These and many other questions are explored and explained in easy to read short chapters in Reflections for the Soul.

You can read the reflections in chronological order or just open the book at any page and read what is there. Hopefully, it will help you in your prayers.

The author uses humour where appropriate to help deliver a memorable message. You may find a hidden gem in what he writes. www.holyvisions.co.uk

MUCH ADO ABOUT LAUGHTER

MUCH ADO ABOUT LAUGHTER is a book of short humourous stories and anecdotes, to make you smile or giggle, depending on what you feel like doing. It's really up to you.

This book is so funny that even the author has bought a copy.

This is what the critics have said about it:

A book that even Shakespeare could not have written.

A book that's talked about in all the good talking circles.

A book with as many pages as there are between its covers.

A book that did not have to be written - but it has!

A book with a beginning and an end.

To learn more about this book which has changed many minds just click HERE.
www.holyvisions.co.uk

TIME FOR REFLECTIONS

Pages

UBI CARITAS ET AMOR. DEUS IBI EST.

IF ...

Saturday, 23 May 2020

Guinea Pig Story

14 comments: