I beg your pardon, Sir?
A room ... for me and my swan. She is waiting in the car.
A swan, Sir? That's very unusual.
Yes ... a swan. What's so unusual about that? It says on the notice at your door, "Pets Allowed".
You have a swan as a pet, Sir? By pet we mean a cat, or dog, we'll accept them ... not a swan.
Now look here ... it does not specify at the door what kind of pet you mean. Mine happens to be a swan. I am here in town for the falconry exhibition and contest. I am here to enter my swan at the contest.
You're entering a swan in a falconry contest? How does that work?
What do you mean how does it work? I hold my arm outstretched like so. I hold a small piece of meat in my hand ... fish actually ... swans don't eat meat ... they are vegetarian. The swan flies from on top of a tree and lands on my arm!
The swan is a big bird, Sir. It must be very heavy for it to land on your arm.
Of course it is. I once broke my arm in three places.
What did you do?
I stopped going to these three places.
Why not practice falconry with a small bird ... like a falcon? Or a hawk? Or owl?
When I started I used a chicken.
A chicken, Sir? But a chicken does not fly.
Oh, we sorted that minor problem. A friend of mine used to throw the chicken at me from a distance and get it to land on my arm.
Did it work?
Not really ... one of the falcons ate the chicken.
Have you tried frozen chickens from the supermarket, Sir?
Good thought ... good thought ... Now have you got a room for me and my swan?
We have a double room. Would you mind sharing with a man and his crocodile?
...I wonder if you allow alligators?
ReplyDeleteAlligators yes ... swans ... perhaps not!
DeleteGod bless you, Tom.
Too cute! I needed a reason to smile this morning.
ReplyDeleteThat's all I ask of my readers, Mevely. A smile. Life can be difficult sometimes; and a smile helps push the gloom away.
DeleteTrust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. (Proverbs 3:5)
God bless.
Thank you for this reminder, Victor. This is a really hard day for me; second only to 9/11.
DeleteLet us try some Positive Thinking by Morecambe and Wise (English comedians).
Deletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODTAATrM1Fs
God bless, Mevely.
Oh.My.Word. Shaking my head and wondering if they're not offspring of Tiny Tim and Miss Vicki. (*smile*)
DeleteThey were very famous British comedians in the 70s.
DeleteGod bless, Mevely.
Dearest Victor,
ReplyDeleteYes, the meaning of pets allowed can be rather 'vague'...
A baby crocodile or alligator would be okay! But not a large one. It would be too tall for bringing in anyway!
Hugs,
Mariette
Large crocodiles or alligators are OK as long as people book for a large room with a double bed.
DeleteGod bless, Mariette.
🐍🐊
DeleteDon't think the swan will last long in the presence of a crocadile!
ReplyDeleteBlessings, Victor!
I never thought of that. Perhaps they should try another hotel.
DeleteKeep smiling and God bless, Martha.
You better keep the swan away from the crocodile. It would be a lovely snack for him. :)
ReplyDeleteOn reflection, I think hotels should specify at the door which animals constitute pets.
DeleteGod bless, Bill.
OK, you got me with the broken arm in three places!
ReplyDeleteKeep away from those places, JoeH.
DeleteGod bless.
Well, i hope your swan doesn't bite you. My understanding is that they can be feisty and bitey.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, never happened to me ... yet.
DeleteGod bless, Mimi.