Thursday, 14 January 2021

How much is that piggy in the window?

 

Man enters pet shop and looks around. Shop assistant approaches him.

Man: I would like to buy this Guinea pig please?

Shop Assistant: Certainly sir, let me get him for you.

Assistant picks up Guinea pig and puts him in a small box with holes on cover for it to breathe. Buyer looks at animal which instantly rolls over with feet pointing upwards.

Man: Hey ... this Guinea pig is dead. He is as stiff as a board. Look how he rolled over.

Shop Assistant: He is not dead, sir. He is hibernating.

Man: Hibernating? It is the middle of June!

Shop Assistant: Yes sir, he is from South America. They hibernate in summer in South America. If he was from Northern Europe he would hibernate in winter.

Man: So he will remain stiff until winter?

Shop Assistant: Not necessarily. A quick ten seconds in the microwave oven will soon revive him.

Man: I don't believe you. He seems dead to me. Look, his eyes are wide open, and his fur is beginning to fall off.

Shop Assistant: All right. I'll let you have it for half-price.

Man: Half-price? I'd expect a bigger discount for a dead hamster.

Shop Assistant: Guinea pig ...

Man: All right. A dead Guinea pig ...

Shop Assistant: I tell you what ... I'll let you have it for free if you buy another Guinea pig as well.

Man: OK ... I'll have that one too.

Shop Assistant places another Guinea pig in the box.

Man: He seems rather slow moving to me ...

Shop Assistant: That's because he has a bit of a migraine. He was at a party last night. You know ... all that dancing and singing ... and the drinks and the girls ... He must have a bit of a hangover this morning.

Man: A party? He was at a party?

Shop Assistant: A funeral actually. And a get-together afterwards to celebrate the deceased's life.

Man: Who died?

Shop Assistant: This other Guinea pig. But he did not turn up to his own funeral.

Man: Why not?

Shop Assistant: He was up for sale at a reduced price!

IF YOU LIKE MY KIND OF HUMOUR
WHY NOT TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT ON YOUR BLOG?

15 comments:

  1. Dearest Victor,
    Good grief... I've had a Guinea pig, Mira and this makes one puke!
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
  2. ...my wife would NEVER allow a Guinea Pig in the house. They look like mice to her!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I understand, Tom. I've never considered them as pets; but some people do.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  3. Not a happy ending for the Guinea pig!
    Blessings, Victor!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I suppose not, Martha. Poor Guinea pig.

      God bless.

      Delete
  4. I had a hamster as a kid and that was enough but at least he was alive. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guinea pigs and hamsters take a lot of looking after. Rabbits too. They need patience.

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  5. Yikes, I'll stick with bacon.

    ReplyDelete
  6. RIP little one. Methinks that shop owner could have a lucrative career selling time shares. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What a great idea, Mevely. Hiring out pets by the day, or week. One can hire a hamster for a week, then a dog, or a cat, or parrot. Great idea.

      God bless you.

      Delete
  7. The animals should come with a warranty to at least survive until you get them home!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is a very good point, Mimi. Brilliant.

      God bless.

      Delete

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