TIME FOR REFLECTIONS: How much is that piggy in the window?

Thursday, 14 January 2021

How much is that piggy in the window?

Man enters pet shop and looks around. Shop assistant approaches him.

Man: I would like to buy this Guinea pig please?

Shop Assistant: Certainly sir, let me get him for you.

Assistant picks up Guinea pig and puts him in a small box with holes on cover for it to breathe. Buyer looks at animal which instantly rolls over with feet pointing upwards.

Man: Hey ... this Guinea pig is dead. He is as stiff as a board. Look how he rolled over.

Shop Assistant: He is not dead, sir. He is hibernating.

Man: Hibernating? It is the middle of June!

Shop Assistant: Yes sir, he is from South America. They hibernate in summer in South America. If he was from Northern Europe he would hibernate in winter.

Man: So he will remain stiff until winter?

Shop Assistant: Not necessarily. A quick ten seconds in the microwave oven will soon revive him.

Man: I don't believe you. He seems dead to me. Look, his eyes are wide open, and his fur is beginning to fall off.

Shop Assistant: All right. I'll let you have it for half-price.

Man: Half-price? I'd expect a bigger discount for a dead hamster.

Shop Assistant: Guinea pig ...

Man: All right. A dead Guinea pig ...

Shop Assistant: I tell you what ... I'll let you have it for free if you buy another Guinea pig as well.

Man: OK ... I'll have that one too.

Shop Assistant places another Guinea pig in the box.

Man: He seems rather slow moving to me ...

Shop Assistant: That's because he has a bit of a migraine. He was at a party last night. You know ... all that dancing and singing ... and the drinks and the girls ... He must have a bit of a hangover this morning.

Man: A party? He was at a party?

Shop Assistant: A funeral actually. And a get-together afterwards to celebrate the deceased's life.

Man: Who died?

Shop Assistant: This other Guinea pig. But he did not turn up to his own funeral.

Man: Why not?

Shop Assistant: He was up for sale at a reduced price!

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15 comments:

Mariette VandenMunckhof-Vedder14 January 2021 at 05:06
Dearest Victor,
Good grief... I've had a Guinea pig, Mira and this makes one puke!
Hugs,
Mariette
ReplyDelete
Replies
Tom14 January 2021 at 06:12
...my wife would NEVER allow a Guinea Pig in the house. They look like mice to her!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Martha Jane Orlando14 January 2021 at 07:55
Not a happy ending for the Guinea pig!
Blessings, Victor!
ReplyDelete
Replies
Bill14 January 2021 at 08:18
I had a hamster as a kid and that was enough but at least he was alive. :)
ReplyDelete
Replies
Brian's Home Blog14 January 2021 at 08:46
Yikes, I'll stick with bacon.
ReplyDelete
Replies
Mevely31714 January 2021 at 09:20
RIP little one. Methinks that shop owner could have a lucrative career selling time shares. :(
ReplyDelete
Replies
messymimi14 January 2021 at 18:39
The animals should come with a warranty to at least survive until you get them home!
ReplyDelete
Replies

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UBI CARITAS ET AMOR. DEUS IBI EST.

IF ...

Thursday, 14 January 2021

How much is that piggy in the window?

15 comments: