Saturday, 9 January 2021

Marge R.I.P.

 

Our hamster died. Her name was Marge. This is short for Margaret; or short for margarine. I don't know if you've got it where you live?

Marge to mean Margaret; not margarine. I'm sure you have margarine where you live. But do you have the name Marge as well?

Anyway, our Marge died. We had to bury her in the garden.

So I put her in a tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! and laid her in the ground. Whilst the rest of the family was still mourning her departure, I felt hungry and went in the kitchen for some toast.

On opening the fridge I discovered we had no butter, or I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! either. In fact we had nothing resembling or tasting of, or like, butter for me to spread on my toast.

It was then that I remembered that the tub we buried Marge in was not completely empty. It had a little I Can't Believe still in it. I Can't Believe I didn't bother to wash the tub before placing Marge in it. But then, I reasoned, what's the point? Soon enough Marge and the I Can't Believe will be as one anyway. Only the plastic tub will survive for a million years because those save the planet people tell us that plastic takes that long to decompose.

So I wondered. What if I dug up Marge again and use some of the left-over I Can't Believe on my toast? Would that do any harm? 

I could scrape off any hamster hairs that happen to intermingle with the I Can't Believe; and there'd be just enough for two slices of toast. 

Seems reasonable enough. You would have probably done the same? Wouldn't you?

Then for some reason I decided against it. What if Marge blinked at me as I was taking the marge out of her fur?

I Can't Believe I even thought of doing it.

About an hour later the other hamster looked a bit unwell. Everyone thought he would also die. Probably of heartache missing his Marge.

His name is Peanut.

I quickly emptied the jar of peanut butter onto my two pieces of toast.

Just in case.

25 comments:

  1. ...margarine can kill you!

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    Replies
    1. It did not do our hamster any good.

      God bless, Tom.

      Delete
  2. I am sorry to hear about Marge.

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    Replies
    1. I Can't Believe It's Not A Live Hamster.

      God bless, Brian.

      Delete
  3. Dearest Victor,
    Don't know if this is another story or a departure of your true pet...
    Hugs,
    Mariette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Mariette,

      Half the time I do not know whether these are true events or stories I have made up myself. I have to re-read the article to make my mind up.

      Keep smiling. God bless.

      Delete
  4. Whether using margarine of butter, you're sure spreading the humor around today, Victor!
    Blessings

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    Replies
    1. What a nice and kind thing to say, Martha. Thank you so much.

      God bless.

      Delete
  5. So sorry to hear about Marge, but the little tomb you chose sounds sweet. As 'real' butter was too dear, my parents only bought margarine/oleo. (Remember the Parkay commercials?)
    I hope Peanut's on the mend!

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    Replies
    1. Over here the debate continues as to which is better for health, butter or margarine. Peanut butter is best I think, or is it Hamster Spread?

      God bless you, Mevely.

      Delete
  6. Sorry to hear of Marge's passing. Hope she had a wonderful life running on the wheel of life.

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    Replies
    1. The wheel was well oiled with olive oil. Not butter or margarine.

      God bless, Bill.

      Delete
  7. It seems to me Marge got the 'butter' of it!! And it was brillant to empty the peanut butter jar....just in case. For some reason I'm in the mood for a peanut butter sandwich!! Happy Saturday!

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    Replies
    1. I love peanut butter sandwich, Wanda. I also put raisins on top of the peanut butter for extra taste.

      God bless always. Best wishes.

      Delete
  8. You could have at least used a shoebox as all caring small pet owners use when their tiny pets pass on.

    God's Blessings Victor 💮

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    Replies
    1. That's a waste of a shoebox. I could use it for when the cat dies.

      God bless, Jan.

      Delete
  9. I can't believe its not butter reminded me of that episode in The Vicar of Dibley where Alice goes on about that butter. Do you know which one I mean? It is so funny!!

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    Replies
    1. I remember it vaguely. I see you like British comedy, Happyone.

      God bless you.

      Delete
    2. Oh yes, British comedy shows are our favorites.
      Here's the link to Alice and the butter. SO FUNNY!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37ficiqoE6U

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    3. Thank you so much, Happyone. Hilarious.

      God bless always.

      Delete
  10. So sorry to hear of Marge's passing.
    It bought back memories of the family rabbit we had when the children were growing up. When she passed on she was buried in our garden near the 'run' she enjoyed.

    All the best Jan

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    Replies
    1. It is always difficult when a pet dies, isn't it? When our goldfish died I was in tears as I had him grilled on toast.

      Keep smiling, Jan. God bless.

      Delete
  11. You made the right choice, peanut butter is better for you anyway.

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  12. I like crunchy, with raisins, on toast.

    God bless, Mimi.

    ReplyDelete

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