Letters to Housing Associations.
"I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage."
"I am writing on behalf of my sink which is coming away from the wall."
"Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant."
"Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink."
"I am a single woman living in a downstairs apartment and would be pleased if you could do something about the noise made by the man I have on top of me every night."
"This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broken and we can't get the News Channel."
The following are allegedly real quotes from insurance claims
Question: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"
"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."
"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way"
"A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face"
"A pedestrian hit me and went under my car"
"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."
"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."
"Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."
"The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him."
"I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident."
"My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle."
"I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull."
"I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him."
"The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him."
"I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car."
"The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing. "
"No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert."